Hope You Brought Your Glove to Work, Because We're Giving Away Some Bad-Ass Tix to Today's Rangers Game (Updated)

Categories: Sports

jennaandjosh_opt.jpg
The view from our seats. Yes, that's Jenna Bush.
Update: We wussed out and used a random-number generator to choose a winner from the most creative responses. Your winner? Sarah:

My boss is crazy. My husband is crazy. My home is regularly festooned with dog diarrhea. I recently broke my iPhone and my pinkie toe. Unrelated, I fell down last week and bruised the length of my shins because I got overly ambitious and tried to walk while my foot was asleep. Like you do. Most importantly, I make fucking great fruit skewers.

We're contacting her now. If she bows out we'll re-select. Thanks for playing. Sorry if we got your hopes up. Go Rangers.


Someone's afternoon is about to improve considerably. The Observer's trio of tickets to today's 1:05 game against the future Oakland Athletics of Santa Clara County have gone unused, so we're giving them away here. They're in the second row, and they come with parking. That's the view up top. From the seats, not the parking spot.

The ground rules:

- You have to be able to go. If you accept these tickets and don't go I'm going to drive to Cooperstown, steal Josh's four-home run bat, break it over my knee and shiv you in the thigh with it.

- You've have be able to pick them up at Observer HQ, 2501 Oak Lawn, suite 700, by 1 p.m. If they're still there at 1 I'm going myself.

- Between now and 11:45 a.m., you have to leave a comment below explaining why you deserve the tickets over everyone else. We'll vote internally on the most creative answer at 11:45 sharp and contact the winner. Make sure your profile includes a real email address, Twitter handle or some other way to contact you.

Go.


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73 comments
Josh's broken records
Josh's broken records

I missed this yesterday Tone, ..I would've won but wouldn't of drove to Dallass to pick em up.  If you could've arranged for Jenna to meet up at the gate with them, I would've been all freaking over that.

(Who let all the poor spelling peeps up in here? This place is going to Hell in a handbasket! RIP Wilonsky.)

The Overcusser
The Overcusser

The fucking great fruit skewers landed Sarah the first place prize.

BTW, Craig Gentry is the fastest motherfucking sonofabitch in the the big leagues today.

Melvin Wesson 2
Melvin Wesson 2

I have been a due hard ranger fan for as long as I can remember. I always wanted to attend a game but due my my financial situation I cannot afford any good seats. I have had my heart broken by the rangers the past two season but still continue to support the team. We will win the world series this year. GO RANGERS!!!!

Jojo_tirtir
Jojo_tirtir

I clicked reload on my email for almost 30 minutes. Congrats to the winner. Please if you read this, eat a Champion Dog for me.

 

Rigotographer
Rigotographer

I know I'm are but I work by the observer and I'm off work right now!!!! Also its my friends birthday.

Aaron
Aaron

The boomstick I ate yesterday gave me the runs and I would like for an opportunity to shit in every stall at the ballpark

Begley87
Begley87

Because I hated my job so I quit... now I can finally attend a game!! And I have people who can fill the other spots.

Jeff McDowell
Jeff McDowell

because half my company is in a suite today at the ballpark but i wasn't invited.  I just got a new job and put in my 2 weeks and it would be LEGENDARY to call my boss from the second row to say "SUCK IT!!!"

Mcdowell_jeffrey
Mcdowell_jeffrey

I know this is late but the article on my phone wouldn't accept my email so i had to find it on my laptop.

Dr. Clarkus
Dr. Clarkus

I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you give me the tickets, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.

Hotst70
Hotst70

Because its been I really bad week, my neck and shoulders hurt from typing all week and I need to get out of this office before I lose my mind !

Down and Out
Down and Out

Good thing I bring my glove to work everyday. I use it to catch crap from my boss. Please let me put it to other use. 

Evan
Evan

oops, Twitter is JalopenoGrigio

Day Games RULE!!!!!!
Day Games RULE!!!!!!

I took my 12yo daughter last night. Wonderful time together, but didn't get to actually watch any baseball. I'm close to DO offices, and the Balllpark is right on my way home.

Evan
Evan

I'm a high school teacher, and I took today off for a little "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" action. Can you help with the parade as well?

Sarah Davis
Sarah Davis

My boss is crazy. My husband is crazy. My home is regularly festooned with dog diarrhea. I recently broke my iPhone and my pinkie toe. Unrelated, I fell down last week and bruised the length of my shins because I got overly ambitious and tried to walk while my foot was asleep. Like you do. Most importantly, I make fucking great fruit skewers.

Sarah Davis
Sarah Davis

Thanks to the great folks at The Observer, I had the best day since The Hunger Games premiered. But seriously, the seats were fantastic, the weather was perfect and the food and drinks were abundant. It was a tough loss, but you made one Dallas girl very happy. Fruit skewers for everyone!

Scott W. Hatfield
Scott W. Hatfield

congrats on the win.  where do I pick up my fruit skewers as 1st runner-up?

Bcrob
Bcrob

Well, well, well - as the sky opens up and Rangers tickets fall from the blue heavens, I open my hands and wait, wait, wait - until 11:45. When my dreams come true and I get to share with my 8 year old daughter the experience of seeing "Your First Place Texas Rangers" up close and in person. She gets the surprise "your dad is here to pick you up from school early" call from the office (always exciting) and I get to share a memory with my daughter that we will never forget. Plus, pictures will be taken and distributed to all of the internet, with the Observer given full credit. Publicity that cannot be bought!

Bcrob
Bcrob

 bcrob@yahoo.com

Joseph Michael
Joseph Michael

Just got out of my economics class and need to be outside, watching the Rangers win!!  I can guarantee I can eat the boom stick all by myself!

Montemalone
Montemalone

I deserve to go.If I accidentally spill beer, nachos, peanut shells, and beer on a Bush, I'll be guaranteed a place in heaven.I deserve to go.

Kyle "hearts" the Rangers
Kyle "hearts" the Rangers

Because today is my one year anniversary to Kristine*hearts*the*Rangers  and I will buy the beers. Plus, why give her jewelry when she would rather just stare at Ranger butts for hours!

SM
SM

Instead of staring at yours?

Danekees
Danekees

Just because. Twitter: @danekees

Wayneadam
Wayneadam

Because Im a loud mough, screaming fan and I HATE Brandon McCarthy so much. And I want to get an oppurtunity to yell at him at the top of my lungs. Ill even make sure to heckle a batter or two. Whatdya say? - @wayneadam on twitter

Scruffygeist
Scruffygeist

Because I wouldn't have to hear about fucking cookies on the broadcast.

But I have to work anyway, so can't go but also don't have to hear. Lose/win.

Ltheriot
Ltheriot

My husband deserves to go. He watches EVERY Ranger game on TV. He listens to sports radio all the time. He's sure a big fan!

Shane Dry
Shane Dry

I deserve the tickets because if I get them ill tell my boss im sick and leave work, but with those bad ass seats ill be on TV all day and would like to see if anyone notices and see if I can get away with it ... sdry78@yahoo.com

Karen Caballero
Karen Caballero

In my 24 years of life, I've only gone to one rangers game! This is the only sport I love and understand!!! After all the late night studying at the school's library, this would start off the summer for me!! I wanted to go for my birthday on April but the ticket prices were to high for me to afford. SOOOO YOU SHOULD DEFINITELY PICK ME!! I LOVE MY RANGERS!!!!! karenc12@yahoo.com

AliceB
AliceB

Because I work in a building with 78 bipolar schizophrenics, and if I don't get out of here, I will turn into one myself.

And if that isn't enough, I am such a big Rangers fan that I showed the game at my wedding reception because there was no way I was missing us in the World Series.

Of course that marriage didn't last, so now I have just been reminded of the pain and suffering because you made me share that story with you. Thanks, jerk. I can find it in my heart to forgive you in exchange for those tickets.

AliceB
AliceB

 My twitter is @tater_o for when I win. E-mail works, also.

Starsfan_1999
Starsfan_1999

I'm trying to get pregnant and my wife and I would love to jokingly ask Ian Kinsler to be our donor. DallasSports7 on twitter

Mark Slaughter
Mark Slaughter

I, Mark Slaughter, being of sound mind and body, bequeath to Joe T; the opportunity to pass on some seriously toasty fresh tix to me for tonight's game.  I promise to partially pay attention to the game while I'm swilling beer, eating Dirk Diggler Dogs, and Tweeting about my sweet ass seats I chumped some writer for....hit me, brah!

Jessica Bates
Jessica Bates

 My 4year old has never been to a pro baseball game and I would love for her first baseball experience to be amazing!!! My entire family has played baseball/softball and we all share a love for the sport. I would like the love of this sport to continue on to the next generation!!

Karen Caballero
Karen Caballero

In my 24 years of life, I've only gone to one rangers game! This is the only sport I love and understand!!! After all the late night studying at the school's library, this would start off the summer for me!! I wanted to go for my birthday on April but the ticket prices were to high for me to afford. SOOOO YOU SHOULD DEFINITELY PICK ME!! I LOVE MY RANGERS!!!!!

Renee Ortiz
Renee Ortiz

I deserve to go to the game because my 5 year old niece is a HUGE fan as well, and someone has to take her to see her heroes, The Texas Rangers, since she is the only one in the house I can get to actually watch the game with me on TV. She's also been begging me to go to a real game all year.

Tghuero
Tghuero

I deserve to go because Matt Harrison is my Hero!!!

Saprinapruneda
Saprinapruneda

I haven't been to a Rangers game in like forever but I keep up with the stats!! I live my Texas Rangers and will be a true Rangers fan forever. I love the days of Sierra, Gonzalez, Rodriguez, Franco, Bushell, Clark and Ryan. I totally need a day to see the Texas Rangers in action!!!

El Conde
El Conde

If you give me the tickets, I'll let you touch my boomstick. I'll even let Jim take a picture with it draped across his shoulder.

If you don't, I'll probably relapse and show my boomstick to random strangers walking along the trails at Riverchon park with a name tage that reads "Hello my name is Jim Schutze".

Ghettorockstar36
Ghettorockstar36

Because its my life long goal, to share a major league conversation w a bush, Moses-style! And because I've always loved Yu, Dallas Observer! ;)

Bryan Buckman
Bryan Buckman

HULK WANT TICKETS IN ORDER TO RELIVE IDYLLIC CHILDHOOD MOMENTS WITH ABSENTEE GIANT GREEN FATHER.  ALSO HULK WANT BALLPARK CHILI DOG SIZE OF HULK.  GIVE HULK TICKETS OR HULK SMASH OBSERVER.  WHICH WOULD BE SHAME, HULK LOVE CHEAP BASTARD FOOD REVIEWS.

HULK FORGOT: CONTACT HULK AT BUCKMAN AT GMAIL DOT COM (HULK INCOGNITO)

Jonathan Flores
Jonathan Flores

I deserve the tickets because I will give the best reason: I'm a huge Mavericks fan and they were swept in 1st round (sucks) and it looks like our most recent biggest rivals will be in the Finals...OKC or Spurs vs Heat. Not to mention the Dallas Cowboys sucked big time this year...so the Rangers are the hope for this DFW sports fan. Must I mention I can pick the tickets up at 1pm and attend the game for sure, and I responded before 11:45a. It sounds good to me. @J_Flores23

Jojo_tirtir
Jojo_tirtir

My 6 year old daughter has never been to a game and I would love to take her. Besides, I would love to have an excuse to skip half a day of work and spend the afternoon with her. jojo_tirtir@yahoo.com

Billorr2
Billorr2

I have plenty of reasons. First, I love the Rangers. I don't have a job so I am at home and I don't have to ask for time off. I have my Rangers shirt on and I'm ready to go. (If I don't get Free tickets I won;t be able to see the Rangers in person) I use to live in San Francisco so I have plenty of friends that I can rub their nose in the fact that the Rangers beat the A's.

Txea617
Txea617

because I haven't been able to make it to any game yet this season and I am sick an tired of everyone else going to the game but me.

Alicia
Alicia

I wish to win those tickets so I can take my son of 14 yrs. old.  He is a softball player and it has always been his ilusion to go to a game.  I am a single mother of 4 and he is my older and then my 3 girls. We need some time of amusement. Oh gosh! He will be like 'Oh mom what did you do? What did you say about me?' Well, is done; I submited it.  My twitter is LichitoCastillo and my email is mireyna2514@yahoo.com

Mireyna2514
Mireyna2514

Yes, I asked my boss already and he will let me go if I win them.  My kids' school is close by to pick him up.

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