Belo: Against Ice Cream Trucks and Diarrhea. Is There a Pattern Here?

Categories: Schutze

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Yesterday we talked about The Dallas Morning News and its editorial campaign against allowing children in poor neighborhoods to have ice cream -- more specifically, their call for tough law enforcement measures against ice cream trucks whose low-quality music systems apparently have been causing discomfort to rich people who are trying to relax outdoors. I think I am representing their argument more or less accurately.

There was something else I wanted to talk about as well, but I didn't think it would go too well in a discussion of ice cream, and that's diarrhea. Specifically, what have the owners of the Morning News got against diarrhea sufferers?

Isn't it enough to snatch the Popsicles out of the mouths of babes, now they've got to go on a jihad against diarrhea sufferers?

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Wanted for unauthorized public showering: Mr. Hankey, aka, the Christmas Poo.
I have been getting a lot of email from readers about a sign in the new Belo Garden Park downtown, a park paid for by entities and persons involved in or associated with ownership of the Morning News. The sign warns visitors that, "Use of the Fountain When Ill with Diarrhea is Prohibited."

What?

First of all, use of the fountain for what? Secondly, has anyone else ever notice a big problem with this? Maybe my own experience is lacking, my travel too limited, but nowhere in the world have I ever noticed hordes of people having diarrhea in public fountains.

If I had, I believe I would have started avoiding public fountains at all costs. In fact, on a planet where there is a lot of legitimate stuff to worry about, I just don't believe that diarrhea-people in public fountains is even on the list.

It would be bad. Sure. Diarrhea could be a nuisance anywhere. So are we going to start seeing discreet little brass placards at the front doors of churches? "Worshipers are asked not to enter the pews if they may have diarrhea in them."

I don't think it's appropriate. In fact I think it's odd. In fact I think somebody needs to talk to a shrink.

The particular kind of fountain they're talking about is one of these new "water features" where people are encouraged to come in and sluice around in the water together en masse with their clothes on. I do not get the attraction. I have always thought these things probably met the definition of what I believe the equity lawyers call "an attractive nuisance."

Why would anyone create something that effectively encourages vast numbers of total strangers to wade in with their clothes on and take a shower together? It doesn't take an Einstein to see there could be problems. The whole concept is like Olympic trials for the immune system.

But why single out diarrhea? But what about cholera, Ebola, smallpox, polio, not to mention the black death? How did diarrhea get to the top of the list?

The emails I have been receiving have forced me to do something that I normally would eschew, which is think about diarrhea a lot. In fact I have been doing some reading. The Mayo Clinic says we all get it at some point and that it usually goes away without treatment after a day or two.

But diarrhea can also be symptomatic of more serious disorders, so if it lasts more than 48 hours you should see a doctor. Thanks to television advertising, by the way, whenever I hear that warning now about something lasting too long I think of erections. This is a brutal culture we live in.

But that's also why I object to gratuitous health warnings in general. I don't like to be made to think about things like people parading around with permanent woodies or people with uncontrolled public diarrhea, or, God forbid, both, unless it's absolutely urgent that I do so at immediate peril of my life. And wouldn't we all just run for our lives anyway?

How about just leaving people the hell alone? I think we're capable of figuring this stuff out. Oh, here we are at the Belo Garden Park. The children want to play in the water feature, but there's a fellow out there in the middle of it having diarrhea. What to do, what to do?

And by the way, instead of glaring at the guy and jabbing your thumb at the "No Diarrhea" sign, you might want to call 911. What, you think he's just being irreverent?

I thumb through their own newspaper this morning, and frankly I could see putting up signs in Belo Garden Park saying, "No terrorizing young children and then shooting their elder siblings," "No choking people with speaker wire and then stabbing them to death," "No dousing people with flammable liquids and then setting them on fire."

I just don't get No Diarrhea. Do you have the sense I do that this is all very Freudian? I haven't been over to the Morning News in some time. Who knows? Maybe they've got No Diarrhea signs all over the place. Family owned businesses, you know. They can be quirky.

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74 comments
Sheik Yerbouti
Sheik Yerbouti

These signs are at pools all over the place.  Since last year's Clostridium outbreaks, everyone's getting a bit more explicit about it.

And the ice cream truck bit -- really?  Since when is an ice cream truck the only way that "poor kids" can get ice cream?  If anything, they could get better-quality stuff for less money by going to the grocery store.

Dougsterfresh
Dougsterfresh

Similar sign at Great Wolf Lodge. Thought it strange until I remembered an episode at the Y where my toddler soiled his swim diaper without my realization. Swim diaper kept the matter contained, so to speak. However, there's no containing diarrhea and swim diaper or not, sometimes parents need that extra warning to help them feel better about excluding one child from the water while the others have a ball.

G_David
G_David

Not sure what the correlation might be, but the splash-around fountain at the Arboretum has the same warning placard.  I used a photograph of it as my PC wallpaper for a time.

Rob Lew
Rob Lew

DALLAS COUNTY COMMISSIONER'S COURT ACTIVELY PROMOTES VERBAL DIARRHEA FROM THE DARK SIDE OF THE TABLE.  AS IN, YOU WHITE FOLKS GO TO HELL...ETC.

Mister_Mean
Mister_Mean

It is a shame that if the city is up tight about ice cream truck noise that they don’t enforce noise from construction crews in residential areas in the hours before they are legally allowed to work  (7 AM on week days, 8 AM on Saturdays and no work on Sundays)—Call the police but they will never cite the offenders!   Oh but I FORGOT!   Dallas is OWNED by developers and we can’t ENFORCE those noise ordinances! 

Dipschitze
Dipschitze

Oh lookie!

Detroit's guiltiest white-guilt libtard went and wrote another one of his dipshitze white-guilt libtard "articles"!

Parisrec
Parisrec

The Nasher is being microwaved and Belo Gardens is now a toilet!!!!! Couldn't happen to a nicer bunch of guys.

Titus Groan
Titus Groan

I'm confused.  Who is the "pro" diarrhea contingent?

trannyntraining
trannyntraining

You should check Kansas City(the city of fountains) to see if they have a higher than average case of diarrhea within the local population. During the dog days of summer, the kids there, were constantly running around and splashing in them. Of course, would there be that much data on, diarrhea due to contaminated fountains? When I get the "runs"...I usually just tough it out.

Daniel
Daniel

This one will be kind of hard to cast in a rich-vs.-poor light, Jim. After all, as dear old Dad used to frequently remind me -- used to bark in anguished rage, truth be told -- "Diarrhea is no respecter of persons."

Mggardenfool
Mggardenfool

The landscape architect for the Belo Garden said the sign's size, letter font, size and wording was a requirement of the Texas Dept. of Environmental Health. The San Fran landscape architect was horrified and defensive about the sign, lest visitors think it was his idea. He said he hopes the prairie grass he planted in front of it grows fast to cover most of it up.

Mewkins
Mewkins

Here's the deal with those fountains. Kids sit on them and watch the water shoot through their pants/crotch. If their butt cheeks are covered with bacteria filled fecal matter it going shoot into the air onto and into other kids' eyes, noses, and mouths. If you've ever had one of those bugs you'd appreciate that sign. It's usually not just the squirts. You'll be spewing out of both ends and your whole family will get it.

JR
JR

FYI, all City of Dallas fountains require this same language.  This is a City sign, not a Belo sign.

Cliffhanger
Cliffhanger

Can I throw old ice cream wrappers in the fountain?

Parisrec
Parisrec

Three craps in a fountain....

Montemalone
Montemalone

Does anybody really think a sign is gonna stop the type of person that would squeeze out a pint of juicypoo in a pubic fountain?

(Sorry for the typo, I had UT prepare this comment).

Montemalone
Montemalone

They should have just put up a plaque that said

"No Bridesmaids"

Bob
Bob

Regarding the fountain at Belo Garden, I say, "Leafblowers."

FUCK YOU
FUCK YOU

"causing discomfort to rich people"

You are so full of shit. I used to live at Ash & East Side. I'm poor. The ice cream trucks drove me nuts. It's a big part of the reason why I moved to Richardson.

Fuck you!

PS I'm not white, if that matters to you, you piece of shit racist.

MushMouth1
MushMouth1

To be fair the last time I was in Rome there was the very same sign in the Trevi Fountain, only it was in Italian so it looked much nicer.  Dallas is after all a world city you hick.

Paul
Paul

Hmmm ... maybe they know something that we don't.

Some people who are in this country without the benefit of authorization to be present, may come from a country where bathing is acceptable in public fountains, after all that is why there are public fountains in some countries.

Typhus and cholera are spread through diarrhea.

So maybe Uncle Belo is saving us from a nasty outbreak of typhus or cholera?

RTGolden
RTGolden

CAPS can also be unlocked, to great effect.

Mister_Mean
Mister_Mean

The phantom "Tal-i-ban-Repub-li-can't" strkies again.   No posting history (a phantom) just a pointless comment.  Probalby liked his own post too.

BTS
BTS

Not microwaved, but solar ovened.

just sayin'
just sayin'

Based on porn and porn alone, I would have to say that Germany and Japan both have a sizable pro-diarrhea contingent.

JimS
JimS

This is about the wall-mounted faucet for the farm sink, right?

RTGolden
RTGolden

Repetition finally paid off.  Your comment is actually tangentially pertinent to the conversation.

Daniel
Daniel

Nope, it's not just the squirts -- grown adults ("kids of all ages") also like to sit on fountains and watch the water shoot through their pants/crotch. If it's a 46-year old popeyed meth head whose butt cheeks are covered with bacteria filled fecal matter it going to shoot into the air!

elsando
elsando

 An old Navy buddy had a wonderful song somewhat like that - Three Turds in a Fountain..through the ripples how they shine, etc., etc. It brings a tear to my eye recalling it.

Rangers100
Rangers100

There we go.

Thanks, Paul, for putting in plain English what the Belo Foundation hides in smarter legalese.

JimS
JimS

Why not put up a sign saying, "No Mexicans?"

ALLCAPS
ALLCAPS

...SERIOUSLY, THEY CAN!!!!!!?  WHAT ABOUT EXCESSIVE PUNCTUATION??  HOW DO YOU DO THIS THING YOU CALL "UNLOCKED"????????

Dip-Schitze
Dip-Schitze

Why do you put hyphens in "Taliban"? It's fucking STUPID. it doesn't even make any sense! "Repub-li-can't" actually makes sense, but it doesn't need hyphens either.

Putting hyphens in "Taliban" is just a dipshit thing to do.

Holy shit you are STUPID.

CheeryBitch
CheeryBitch

Has anyone sat out there with a good, old-fashioned foil-pan of Jiffy Pop, yet?

Daniel
Daniel

Now if we just put ten thousand of him in front of ten thousand typewriters for ten thousand years, he will eventually produce Hamlet.

elsando
elsando

 Actually it was "Three turds in a punchbowl" sorry

Crap Detector
Crap Detector

 In my neighborhood in Plano we have seen people actually bathing in the swimming pool - yes, soap, nudity and toweling off. These people were not Mexican but another group of increasing demographic significance. We had to notify people NOT to bathe in the pool. We had to remind residents that their kids could only be in the pool wearing "swim diapers." Um....I think ANY diaper doesn't belong in a swimming pool!  It's just another type of poo-catcher and combined with the pubes of the bathers makes for an icky microbial mix. Good sense is in short supply.

Paul
Paul

 Yep right next to the one that says whites only.

Besides, I was talking about those sneaky Canadians with their giveaway accents ... Ehhh hoser?

G_David
G_David

It's called sounding it out, so dipshits like you can understand.  Just nod your head and play like you understand, like I'm sure you did for the 5 years you attended school.

Crap Detector
Crap Detector

 Aw man...stop with the stereotyping. I drive a 13 year old Jeep and can find my way around just fine, thank you.

Rangers100
Rangers100

Yep.  Stay afraid.  Stay very afraid.  

By the way... think you could get to Belo Garden without a map?  Or would you be that guy/gal driving his/her Range Rover down the DART tracks, frustration growing, hopelessly searching for street signs ("keep moving keep moving doors locked: check black person God what's happening keep moving back in Collin County all over soon Jesus help me...")?

Rangers100
Rangers100

LMAO. Plano.

The flight is strong.

just sayin'
just sayin'

I'm guessing that the pool water could now double as a curry sauce....

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