So Why Did the Dallas Country Club Really Set Off Fireworks Last Night?

dallascountryclub.jpg
A leaked photo from yesterday's mysterious display in the Park Cities.
Over on the News' ice cream blog, Robert Wilonsky reports that North Dallas was baffled last night by an unexpected firework display, allegedly to help celebrate the new clubhouse at the Dallas Country Club.

But we all know that a little clubhouse opening isn't enough to warrant fireworks in the Park Cities. So we racked our brains and came up with 10 more plausible reasons for the display. Feel free to chime in with your own.

  • The occasion simply called for it: Highland Park sophomore Morgan Allison's sweet-sixteen birthday party planning meeting.
  • Reason? Who needs a reason? WE'RE THE ONE PERCENT, BITCHES.
  • Those weren't fireworks.
  • The club recently let in a black person, who members were excited to learn "really isn't all that black."
  • The club recently let in a black person, and it turns out he has Jewish ancestry. Two-for-one!
  • The club recently let in a black person, but he announced yesterday evening that his employer was transferring him to Omaha. They called the ensuing celebration -- which started before the end of the announcement, oddly -- a "going away party."
  • Members realized they could save $135 a year by switching to GEICO, but had absolutely no reason to.
  • Turns out the person working the fireworks button totally misunderstood last night's Trayvon Martin news.
  • Well, what do you do with your tax refund?
  • They found Troy Aikman's sand wedge.


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46 comments
Mountain Creek
Mountain Creek

Reason for fireworks?  Everyone in the Club had taken the "April Fool's Challenge": to drive their luxury vehicles across the Calatrava Bridge and back without being accosted while on the 'unsafe' side of the 'dirty river'.

Random
Random

You might want to check your facts.  Definitely not the most diverse membership but you are incorrect on both Jewish and African American members

Mountain Creek
Mountain Creek

I made no mention of race.  Whatsoever.  

You did.

ts
ts

11.  They were celebrating the ending of that laborious top ten list.

pak152
pak152

more likely they were celebrating the announcement from DMV about the new HP license plates

Jay
Jay

Was it fireworks exploding, or did some Riff-Raff try sneaking in through the mine field?

Guest
Guest

How come The Lakewood Country Club or that Bridge didn't catch this much shit when they shot off fireworks a couple of months ago:  http://tinyurl.com/7ucjfgn    ?

And when did it become cool to hate fireworks?

fish9er
fish9er

excellent point, guest.

Creth Davis
Creth Davis

what we have here is a failure to communicate. I mean, Joe's list wasn't funny and so people didn't know how to take this waste of internet space. otherwise, carry on

Joe Tone
Joe Tone

Hey, only six of the jokes were mine. So I'm only 60 percent responsible.

fish9er
fish9er

"speculation on what *really* happened"? a private club had a party celebrating their new clubhouse that the members paid for. they decided they wanted some fireworks. not real sure what there is to "speculate." your list of other plausible reasons is perpetuating racism at best.

Creth Davis
Creth Davis

you do not have to feel like a waste of space. you are original. 

Tim Rogers
Tim Rogers

sarcasm is not your strong suit fish9er. Celebrate all you want with bands, dancing, drinking. Party all night in your new building. Just don't expect everyone to think its ok to shoot fireworks at 10pm on a weeknight. Can't wait for the weekend?

What happened to being a polite neighbor.

PlanoDave
PlanoDave

Since when do Texans whine about blowing shit up?  

The desire to blow shit up knows no clock or calendar and is not slave to man's invented work-week.

Get over yourselves and enjoy it.

Josh's broken records
Josh's broken records

Right there with ya brutha!  I've been know to fire off a roman candle after the Horns, Mavs, Ranjuhs win a big game..after I've had a beera or three too many..when the wind is blowing from a SW direction...when the baby girl asks me too.  There's more to fireworks than the 4th.

In closing, POW!

Creth Davis
Creth Davis

may I quote you, PlanoDave? that was beautiful.

fish9er
fish9er

i actually was being serious. or were you being sarcastic when you said i was using sarcasm? i wouldn't know, it's not my strong suit. (unless you were being sarcastic, then it is.)

i'm not saying it was a particularly "bright" idea (see what i did there?), but the article wasn't posted under the premise of the fireworks not being neighborly. it was posted under the premise of racial and class warfare, something we definitely don't have enough of these days (<-- sarcasm).

Creth Davis
Creth Davis

maybe they were just igniting the light. ya know, to let it shine? 

jfpo
jfpo

So they weren't celebrating another year without a black member? Not sure what your definition of " perpetuating racism" is.

Chris Danger
Chris Danger

Yes folks, rich white people need to blow off steam as well...but KC And The Sunshine Band? Jesus, were the Ohio Players or Brownsville Station on tour or something?? 

Paul
Paul

 I think that the New Main Street Singers or Starlight Vocal Band would have been more appropriate.

It is very scary when rich white folk get funky ...

Chris Danger
Chris Danger

Dont forget the rocking 60's sounds of The New Christy Minsterels...

Paul
Paul

 I don't know ... maybe a toss up of Andy Williams and the Lennon Sisters?

HP Brian
HP Brian

105.3 talk, ghosts, fake characters....I feel like this is the old sportatorium blog. Speaking of signs of idiocracy.

I miss the Sporty
I miss the Sporty

All we are missing is a POW! from Josh's shoulder isn't broken and insults from RJ Sloppy.

Paul
Paul

 Where's Kergo?

PG Jesus
PG Jesus

Yet, you are reading this.

HP Brian-what a chris-chris moniker-and you site idiocracy

HP Brian
HP Brian

You are going to comment on my moniker being chris-chris, but you have a middle initial and a III in yours? Funny.

ctbrd1019
ctbrd1019

Just missing the Esq. at the end.

Bitter in Dallas
Bitter in Dallas

Dallas Country Club: We built a fancy clubhouse so you won't notice our crappy golf course

Joe Tone
Joe Tone

Is it really not a nice or interesting golf course? Not that I'll ever get to play it, but maybe I'll caddy some day if my Letterman job doesn't work out.

T. Erickson
T. Erickson

Celebrating the fact that Mittens is getting the nomination?

James M. Moroney III
James M. Moroney III

It was practice to man the walls that they are building around the 'park cities.'

sizzler
sizzler

there are already walls on 3 sides and have been for a while.

Dave Letterman
Dave Letterman

Joe,

Call me. I think I may have a job for you once this site eats shit in a few months.

Love,

Dave

Sammy
Sammy

Sign of idiocracy #97,675,467:

The most viewed story on this site is "Khloe Kardashian is Leaving Dallas".

mynameisURL
mynameisURL

Also not a bad reason for fireworks.

Scruffygeist
Scruffygeist

A top 10?

Joe, did you get a show on 105.3?

Josh's broken records
Josh's broken records

I thought the fireworks were because Tone ran 2 or 3 sport posts this week.  That was great how a Seattle dude told us all about our Japanese pitcherman.  Cain't wait for Tone to bring in somebody from Alabama to tell us all about Joe Nathan's failures in back to back games.

Good dig Scruff!  Atleast Tone has better hair than the midget who must not be spoken of, and damn near as many listeners...well as many Food writers as the fail as listeners anyhow.

Joe Tone
Joe Tone

Not yet, but it's good to have back-up plans.

The D.O. ghost of Richie Whitt
The D.O. ghost of Richie Whitt

Speaking of 105.3, wasn't it you that was predicting them to flip formats a few years back? How is that working out for you?

Scruffygeist
Scruffygeist

About as well as the ratings are on 100,000 watts.

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