"Tragically Mainstream" Dallas Ranks Last in Highly Scientific List of Hipster-Friendly Cities

Categories: Media

calatravahipster.jpg
Fedora Calatrava disagrees, frankly.
You will either be saddened, confused or hugely indifferent to the fact that Travel + Leisure magazine has ranked Dallas last in a list of 35 hipster-friendly cities. I'll give you a moment to collect yourselves.

Now then: What in the hell are we doing wrong that we rated so poorly? We want hipsters to like us, right? Wait, what's a hipster, again? What is it that they do?

T+L enlightens us: "A smirking attitude toward mainstream institutions means they tend to frequent cool, often idiosyncratic restaurants, shops, and bars." Wait, we love smirking! In fact I was smirking just a minute ago while reading some bullshit list in Travel + Leisure! Doesn't that count for anything?

Apparently not. Cities were ranked on their live music, coffee bars, "independent boutiques," microbrews and "the most offbeat and tech-savvy locals." Seattle is number one, Portland number two. Before you waste precious seconds clicking through, yes, Austin put in an appearance, at number eight. But there are some real head-scratchers on here: Las Vegas? Honolulu? Boston? Are we sure this isn't just a list of cities with letters in their names?

What we're really talking about when we talk about hipsterdom, of course, is youth. Dallas, like every other city, wants people in their 20s and 30s badly, because they allegedly have a lot of disposable income, which, when they're not pouring ironic microbrews down their gullets, they'll clearly spend on all those condos that mystifyingly keep popping up all over town, like drafty, over-priced mushrooms after a rainstorm.

And make no mistake: Dallas leaders are feverishly trying to figure out how to attract that cool, young crowd, doing what Dallas city government does best: hiring experts to talk about cool young people and write earnest reports about them.

Earlier this fall, just before arch-conservative PR guy Frank Luntz delivered his $30,000 Powerpoint on "messaging" to city council, another PR consultant, Molly Foley, talked about how to Venus-flytrap those youngsters. Her groundbreaking research concluded that the 24-to-40 crowd likes coffee bars, dog parks, Tweeting, free wi-fi, being able to walk places and working as little as possible.

Of course in her market data-driven world, and in lists like this one, there's no recession and no staggeringly terrible job market. And there are definitely no people in their 20s whose choice of city has largely been dictated by where we can get a damn job and finally move out of this refrigerator box behind the K-Mart that we've been staying in.

Even if we had more espresso, Travel + Leisure seems to be telling us that Dallas probably wouldn't make the cut. The city's real flaw is "seeming tragically mainstream." It's all that enthusiasm for sports, apparently. We also lost in their "offbeat" category, for more or less the same reason.

So what is it that we have to do, guys? Mandatory fedoras for everybody? Free parking for scooters? A proclamation from City Hall on the merits of 180-gram vinyl? Making the city more walkable and creating more green space, two things that youngsters like and that actually increase the quality of life for everybody, still don't seem to be high on Dallas' priority list, no matter how many blocks Jason Roberts better-izes.

There is, of course, the vanishingly small possibility that Travel + Leisure readers, whose median age is 49.8 years old, don't exactly know what it takes to attract the cool, young crowd either. Making lists about hipsters might be a start, though. Guess Dallas can try that one next. That, or just paint a mustache on that fancy new bridge of ours.

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88 comments
verymiddleclass
verymiddleclass

 So you just made Dallas a cool place for hipsters to go... LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE

Cjcrashoveride
Cjcrashoveride

Want to encourage more young people to come to Dallas? Quit screwing up and shutting down stuff in Deep Ellum. Problem solved!

mmarks
mmarks

I like Dallas exactly as it is. Spread out, casual, a little dull, crazy about sports and apparently un-hip. Exactly like ME.

roadsidecouch
roadsidecouch

How many other cities can boast nekid booby NAZI chick statues in their largest park?

mynameisURL
mynameisURL

Yeah, it's hard to look cool when it's 108 freakin' degrees outside.

sub-addict
sub-addict

YOLO 4eva!        (overt troll shout-out. had to be done)

Mike W.
Mike W.

Having lived in both Dallas and Seattle, I can clearly see why Dallas ranked much lower than Seattle.  Seattle may have young people with disposable income, but Dallas lacks the character and artistic "I want to be unique" vibe that Seattle, Portland and San Francisco have.  That is why there is so much high end shopping in Dallas.... people want to wear what they are told is cool, not what they think is cool based on their own opinion.  There is a lot to love about Dallas, but being immature and insulting T&L for writing a well thought out explanation of why Dallas ranks low in this area like this writer for Dallas Observer did is trite and a waste of time.

notahipster
notahipster

The comments I've read here confirm my suspicions that Dallas consists of nothing more than a conglomerate of big boxed shopping mall loving, culturally irrelevant, small-minded,backward-thinking old farts who cannot comprehend the fact that other cultures and subcultures exist outside of the narrow confines of their own bland, good-ole-boy,cow tipping, gun-toting, yeehaw mentality. I now return you to your regularly scheduled Fox News programming.

RTGolden
RTGolden

So, since the culture of those posting here (which, judging by the target audience of DO is nothing like what you describe) vehemently rejects the hipster trend, you choose to lump this culturally, intellectually, and recreationally diverse crowd into one narrow definition of what it is to be a Dallasite?  Who is being small-minded in narrow confines now?

notahipster
notahipster

One ridiculous cultural stereoptype deserves another. How's it feel?

Arlen
Arlen

Hipsters are all skinny and they walk slowly because they've got no place to be.

Mjm
Mjm

Love this city! 

cp
cp

Bravo, Anna! This was one of your better posts. 

Dalguy
Dalguy

Where was Oak Cliff on the hip list?  I can't think of a less hip magazine than T & L.  

Scruffygeist
Scruffygeist

Ummm.....you realize Oak Cliff isn't a city, right?

Oliver Klozoff
Oliver Klozoff

Webster's describes Hipster as:  People who believe their manufactured pseudo-vibe makes them appear a lot cooler and more talented than they actually are.  And let's not forget different, because they are soooooo different.  That is, if different means acting, looking, tatting and bearding just like everyone they know.  Oh, oh, and let's not forget throwing down a pretentious, artsy-fartsy 'cooler than you' attitude.

As someone who was a hippie when a hippie was a hippie, I'm so happy I grew up when there was a real, unpretentious vibe that didn't have target marketing, profit margin and poser written all over it. 

Sorry if this comes off sounding like 'hater' talk, because in reality I actually feel bad for all these kids. 

rubbercow
rubbercow

Hippies then "grew up" to become the most rapacious group of people on the Earth - all the while praising themselves for all the "good" that their generation did.  You guys invented the pretentious vibe, targeted marketing, profit margin and poseur-ism.

Oh, and I am no hipster - just a regular guy doing what I do.

Daniel
Daniel

"A hippie is just a person wearing sandals who has the same opinions as the person sitting next to him."

-- Frank Zappa (paraphrased)

Mervis
Mervis

Yeah, you didn't have all that stuff aimed at you when you were a hippie but I bet you totally bought into it years later. Please tell us about your life these days.

Anon
Anon

congratulations. you just lobbed all the insults the mainstream used to identify you back when you were a "real hippie". things have come full circle.

Bittershite
Bittershite

Great, now they'll all move here to be ironic.

HipsterDallas
HipsterDallas

Hmm... wouldn't ranking last on a list of hipster-friendly cities make us, in fact, the real #1 hipster city? How hip is it to live in a city where everyone else is hip?

RTGolden
RTGolden

I'm still unclear as to what a hipster is.  If a hipster is a douchebag, we've got plenty of those.  They make 35k/year and try to live like they make 100k/year.  They bitch about walkability and lack of parking for their German automobiles in the same breath.  They think their little 10 or 15-block comfort zone is the only 'real' Dallas and the rest of the city is full of suburbanites and interlopers.  They continually bitch about DART's inability to get them to other pockets of hipster heaven sprinkled throughout the city, yet wail and moan for DART to grow and be expanded.  For a while, a bunch of them camped in front of City Hall, bitching about commercialism and industry and wealth inequality while banging out pleas on their I-phones and I-pads for the police to stop the homeless from stealing their stuff.

Are these the guys who don't think Dallas is cool?  Could we tell them, so maybe they'll leave?

Anon
Anon

close. they are a cousin to the yuppie d-bag. hipsters make $35k per year and spend upwards of $100k per year attempting to look like they make $10k per year. the reason it gets so expensive is because trends must be abandoned once they are picked up in the New York Times. once that happens, the yuppie d-bags are not far behind picking up on the trend and a true hipster would never want to be confused for a yuppie. in the meantime, the spending is justified because their book deal is just around the corner...

Anon
Anon

Hipsters are poseurs who think it's cool to look poor.  And they smell like coffee, cigarettes, weed, and B.O.

T. Erickson
T. Erickson

Hipsters are too cool for lists anyway

elbueno
elbueno

This list is laughable...Santa Fe? Hipsters? Hippies, yes. but hipsters? no sir. Santa Fe is a great city with amazing food and beautiful scenery but if turquoise jewelry and indian textiles are hip...

Cliffhanger
Cliffhanger

They are enough of a plague in Oak Cliff. Hopefully this article will encourage them to keep moving down I-35.

Beerme
Beerme

So wait, are we supposed to be upset that we are on the list, or at the end of it? 

mark zero (Jason)
mark zero (Jason)

Man, who wants to be on a list if those cities can join.Being hipster-friendly is so over.

Larry
Larry

It's so obvious. Let's build a toll road *inside* the levees of the Trinity River! Everyone will want to run down there to smell the exhaust fumes! And the noise, oh the noise! We'll rocket to the top of the hipster list!!

Bob Loblaw
Bob Loblaw

I believe this continues to reflect that "Dallas ranks last with magazine writers!"  It has nothing to do with any external reality.

Uptown D-Bag
Uptown D-Bag

I am totally OK with this. Hipsters are just D-Bags who make fun of D-Bags who don't admit that they are D-Bags themselves... I have a little more respect for D-Bags because they will tell you that they are D-Bags.

dallasmay
dallasmay

"Making the city more walkable and creating more green space... still don't seem to be high on Dallas's priority list"

How do you figure that? Lots of neighborhoods are getting city funded walkabilized, and the city parks department is quite substantial. In fact, parks have always been a major focus of the city.

Jon Daniel
Jon Daniel

There's no place like home (click, click, click)...There's no place like home (click, click, click)...There's no place like home (click, click, click)...There's no place like home (click, click, click)...There's no place like home (click, click, click)...There's no place like home (click, click, click)...There's no place like home (click, click, click)...

Larry L Johnson Jr
Larry L Johnson Jr

When I read the headline I thought I could not possibly care less. Then I read the article and realised i was wrong.

Ed D.
Ed D.

Travel + Leisure Ranks Last in Vaguely Scientific List of Magazines Anybody Gives Even a Tiny Damn About.

facebook-16703026
facebook-16703026

This article makes me so very warm and fuzzy inside. So warm. So fuzzy!

Oak Cliff Clavin
Oak Cliff Clavin

Damn you Orlando, you've out-cooled us again!

Seriously, Kansas City has affordability and BBQ, hipsters love that shit.

what a joke.

Steve
Steve

Worst thing that could happen to us is to appear on lists like this. Austin's much-touted "hip" created a mass-migration of clueless assholes who wanted to be hip by living someplace the TV told them was cool. They all staggered south like misbegotten mall-zombies, bringing gentrification & its devastation with them. Austin is now a museum of things that used to be cool. Let's keep the wonder of Dallas secret from the wannabes & build our mighty underground empires & clandestine pleasure domes. Right? Right.

Daniel
Daniel

Amen, Brother Steve.

Observist
Observist

You seem to be confusing Dallas with Xanadu

Tom L
Tom L

In all fairness that's a pretty common occurrence.

Heather <3
Heather <3

Street skating aliens in disco attire is cool and I defy anyone to prove otherwise.

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