If Nothing Else, Jason Roberts Has Already Raised the Bar for Congressional Campaign Art

robertsforcongress.jpg
I, the overbylined, hereby solemnly swear that Unfair Park ("The Blog") will not, under any circumstances, devolve into a sycophantic shadow booster for the long-shot congressional aspirations of Jason Roberts ("That One Biker Guy"), even in the event that one Robert Wilonsky ("Biker Guy's Cyber-Boyfriend") returns to the blog after realizing that his new employer keeps actual water in the water cooler.

No, really, I swear. But come on: That's a slick poster.

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21 comments
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MidCenturyMaddness
MidCenturyMaddness

I heard the next thing Jason Roberts is going to campaign for is to have Jefferson Blvd. changed to Jason Roberts Ave. Isn't that the best way to imortalize the person singularly responsible for making Oak Cliff the hip place is is today?

IWantYourVote
IWantYourVote

Hello my fine friends, I am Jason Roberts, a man of great and fantastical accomplishment. In Dallas I once accomplished, wait I guess that really didn't have any effect on anything. That's ok because I am also a man of brilliant ideas. Once I had the idea to, wait I copied that from Portland, or was it Paris. I remember I copied it from Copenhagen. Oops. Well, anyway I ride a bicycle and I want your vote. If you want to elect a man who promises to ride a bicycle I am that man. 

NiceSlogan
NiceSlogan

Great slogan - From OC to DC. Nice and well thought out. Oh, wait. I forgot that this district stretches all the way to Ft. Worth. Never mind. hahahahahahahahahahahahaha

OhMy
OhMy

What hack made this poster? What building is that? It is certainly not the US Capitol. Maybe it's a new bicycle shop on Jefferson.

OhMy
OhMy

But if Jason doesn't win who will take old, splinter ridden pallets and make hideous, yet uncomfortable temporary seating so he can place it in your street for a couple of hours along with several rusted out shipping containers transformed into rusted out shipping containers pretending to be shops? Who will steal ideas from cities that he envies so that he can claim them as his own and pretend to be creative? Who will carry the torch for ADHD sufferers everywhere who can't complete something that is permanent? Who I ask, who? Who will wear the silly hat?

West Dallas Vato Loco
West Dallas Vato Loco

@ Ciff Dweller, Duh! Of course, do you have rocks for brains. Do you think our hero, and our next congressman Domingo wanted Stevens Park, and Kessler Park in HIS district? Hell No! Too many white people live there! Go Domingo!

Lupita
Lupita

All you people know Domingo is going to win this race for Hispanics! Viva La Raza!!!!

Enrique De La Fuente
Enrique De La Fuente

Domingo??? Really!?!? The fact of the matter is that we got bottom barrel candidates running...Domingo and Salazar (Alonzo's lapdog).  Then you have a former Frost hack, Veasay, running.  

Spare me the Hispanic numbers.  El Paso an overwhelming Hispanic city, has elected a white mayor, white councilpeople, until recently, a white State Senator.  The truth is Hispanics amongst ourselves like to fancy ourselves as gringos.  

my favorite unused dildo
my favorite unused dildo

I'm just glad self promoting hipsters will be well represented. Power to the well dressed and outspoken

Cliff Dweller
Cliff Dweller

But what building is that in the background?  The dome of the US Capitol certainly does not have that strange finial.  What office is he running for again? 

Joe Tone
Joe Tone

Here's what I love about Unfair Parkers: I slap up a poster that's kind of neat, you guys use it as a launching pad for an actual discussion about the dude's chances. So cool.

Bob
Bob

Jason needs to ride a bigger frame. 

claytonauger
claytonauger

Not to mention that the many candidates from the minority community that are running against each other (Domingo Garcia vs. Steve Saliazar in Dallas County, Catherine Hickman vs Marc Veasey in Tarrant County) could easily cancel each other out and provide Jason a run-off slot or a chance for a multi-ethnic hipster coalition to play kingmaker. 

DoubleOJoe
DoubleOJoe

 "Multi-Ethnic Hipster Coalition" is my new band name.  Thank you.

Guest
Guest

What do you think all this redistricting litigation has been about?  It's about putting a Hispanic in another U.S. Congressional seat (two, actually).  This is one of those seats.  It was drawn expressly for the purpose of electing an Hispanic.  Hispanics believe the seat belongs to them.  They won't give it away to an Anglo. 

Guest
Guest

Yes, that is a very slick poster that shows that Roberts is in tune with the constituents he intends to represent....

Oh wait.  You mean to tell me he isn't running in a district dominated by upper-class white liberals? 

At least it's got to be a very diverse district, right?  One that might get interested in gentrification, etc., even if it isn't entirely Austin and Seattle transplants.  What?  He's running in a district that is 66% Hispanic! 

Oh well, in that case let him put whatever he wants on his posters.  It doesn't matter unless Roberts changes his name to Rodriquez because this district will be represented by someone with a Hispanic surname.   

Downtown Resident
Downtown Resident

 Scott Griggs laughs in your general direction.

Guest
Guest

Griggs was elected in a city council district split between Hispanics, Blacks, and Whites.  He will be the first person to tell you that he won based on the White votes from Kessler park, Stevens park, and Winnetka heights, which are the heavy voter turnout precincts in OC.  That isn't enough to carry a congressional district, which represents about 800,000 people and has a much higher voter turnout (particularly among minority voters).     

Cliff Dweller
Cliff Dweller

 Stevens Park, and Kessler Park are not in the new district anyway.  So even if they wanted to vote for Jason, they couldn't.

Anon
Anon

to add to your point, I think the turnout in municipal elections in Dallas was like 7% last time around? 2012 is going to see a huge number of people going to the polls.

Montemalone
Montemalone

If you guys had put better hooch in the DO water cooler, perhaps he wouldn't have been enticed to the dark side of the force in the first place.

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