Why Saturday's Cowboys Game Is the Most Important Game Ever (This Week, Anyway)

Categories: Sports
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Davynin, Via.
[Editor's note: For those who might have forgotten, Michael Corcoran is formerly of the Austin American-Statesman and Dallas Morning News, a one-time Observer contributor and one of my favorite writers in the history of ink. This morning, he dispatches this preview of Saturday night's Cowboys-Eagles match-up and what it could mean come New Year's Day. Happy Early Christmas.]

Suddenly, the Dallas Cowboys' game against the Philadelphia Eagles on Saturday means something. Before the New York Giants lost to the Redskins yesterday, the Cowboys could've tanked to the Eagles and still won the NFC East by beating the Giants at the Meadowlands January 1. But now the 6-8 Eagles can make the playoffs if they beat Dallas and Washington, and the Giants beat the Cowboys.

New Year's Day is looming as the biggest date in recent Cowboys history, but it won't mean a thing after Saturday if Dallas beats Philadelphia and the Jets beat the Giants. That clinches the division for field marshal Romo and Co. Breathe out.

As fun as it is to watch Jerry Jones lose it every other week, this has been a hard season for fans of the Cowboys who are not fans of chest pains and tingling.

I had a girlfriend once who couldn't watch Cowboys games because it brought back painful memories of her father becoming mentally and physically abusive after the Cowboys lost. She was a pretty girl with a cute cleft chin. During that hideous 37-34 defeat to Eli Elite and Big Blue last week, I thought about her dad for a second. "Shut up and get me a beer, assface!" I wasn't there, but I could almost understand the brute.

Being a Dallas Cowboys fan this year is a little like vacationing in Nuevo Laredo. Even when things are going well, there's always the potential of being taken to a deeply dark and dangerous place.

Especially painful were those back-to-back heartbreakers against the Arizona Cardinals and the Giants. In that first game, Coach Jason Garrett's clock management turned a Princeton education into a GED. Against the Giants, the Cowboys (who stink on Sunday nights like the garbage after a weekend crawfish boil) blew a 12-point lead with five minutes to go. Those Dallas DBs couldn't cover "Louie Louie," so 9-4 became 7-6.

Saturday's win 31-15 win against Tampa Bay was a nice walk-through for the Cowboys. Everything works, and a rested Felix Jones has picked up where DeMarco Murray's ankle left off. Meanwhile, the Bigger Lebowski's defense seems ready, this time, to handle Michael Vick, who beat the Cowboys so badly last month that he almost violated his probation.

As much as this season deserves a big Jan. 1, winner-take-all (before marching to a certain defeat against the Packers) contest, I think we've all gone through enough this season. Go, Cowboys. Go, Jets.
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28 comments
Darrylrs
Darrylrs

Why is Michael Corcoran writing about sports? I thought he was busy still hating on Lucinda Williams.

ChrisU
ChrisU

didn't know Corcoran was a good sportswriter also. I still remember him as a one of my favorite music reporters here in D. his writings introduced me to some great music. Kelly Willis for example. great to see Michael back home.  

ChrisU
ChrisU

i also highly regard yu darvish's musical opinions

Storm_71
Storm_71

Ok here’s a question. I apologize if this has already been talked about. Let’s say the total commitment to Darvish after posting fee and contract is 100m. If for what ever reason Nippon does not take the bid or the winning team can not negotiate a contract. Darvish then goes back to and fights for Ham in Japan and becomes a free agent next year. How much do everyone think the free agent contract to sign him would be? I guess where I ‘m going is would it be cheaper to sign Darvish via the Japanese posting process than via standard free agency?  Thoughts and comments????   Oh yeah yea Cowboys.

Josh's broken records
Josh's broken records

Good Questione Senor Storm, let's start with this part of it: Nippon is gonna take the bid, Yu may not take the offered contract.  I had heard earlier in the offseason that Nippon might wait til next year to post Yu, so I'm not so sure he would be able to walk after next year (i.e. complete free-agent), now that may change because he's been posted..not for sure about Nippon's ability to post the same player man twice.

I'm thinking if he was a total/complete free agent he would garner a contract dang close to Clee, more than Ceej for sure..dude will be 26/27 next year, everyone raves about his stuff, makeup..can't miss T.O.R. starter..I'd figure Zito's contract would be a good comparison..what was it 7/120ish.. I also wonder if you do win his rights, get him signed..is he a complete free agent when the contract runs out? Or will he have some arbitration/club controlled years left? 

I soooo want us to have the winning bid tonight, as fishy as the process is..crossing my fingers...Go Rangers!

Sport Sportster
Sport Sportster

News Flash, Rangers win, have 30 days to do the deal. If they can't agree, Darvish will return to the Hokkaido Nippon Ham Fighters for another season and Texas doesn't have to pay the posting fee. I'm looking at a slight ticket hike if he's signed.

Robert Wilonsky
Robert Wilonsky

The Statement from the Rangers, just in:

"The Texas Rangers are pleased and excited to have acquired the rights to negotiate with Yu Darvish. Our organization has scouted Mr. Darvish for the last several years and has been very impressed with his abilities and accomplishments. We believe he would be a great addition to the Texas Rangers pitching staff.

We look forward to beginning the next step of this process in the very near future with Mr. Darvish and his representatives, Arn Tellem and Don Nomura."

Sam is on the conference call with Jon Daniels at this very moment.

Josh's broken records
Josh's broken records

I wannnnaa kiss you. (Drunken Joe Namath voice) justgot the Newbergreport!!! Hell Effing Yes!!! (excuse typos, many bottles of cab and some ribeye w jap grits at Reata earlier: humblebrag)

I love:John DanielsNolanThe deep pocketed ownersOur new tv dealMy childrensThe great state of Texas

And

Yu Effing Darvish

Checkmebums
Checkmebums

The eagles dont have a chance of winning that game ginst tha cowboys eagles to overrated and this were cowboys wil get hot right here saturday nite football go dallas cowboys

Rod Serling
Rod Serling

Lessee, fox running on field at SMU during winning scoring play, ghost driven cart in Arlington during post game interview, my money next Saturday is on the elephant driven forklift during the first down measurement.

Don
Don

This thing is laced with awesome one liners - but the cleft chin/assface line snapped me right out of a morning funk.  Please write more more more for Unfair Park Michael!  Genius...

Josh's broken records
Josh's broken records

Hey Mikey, how do you figure that the Cow-D seems ready to handle the Iggles?  Because they handled the Bucs?  I don't understand your reasoning sir, please show your work on this equation.  I'm a fan of the Boys, but after watching the Eagles, Cards, and Giants slice dem Boys up like a Bass-a-matic..methinks you are either:

A: A homer of the highest order. B: Seriously confused about Amurican football and probably blind. 

MushMouth1
MushMouth1

Can't disagree that the game is important for this season obviously but it isn't important as far as the future goes. No matter what nothing will change in the foundation of the team. Jerry will huff and puff, make a couple of moves with players but that will be it.  The reality is he has no idea how to build and maintain a winning team. He fancies himself as a Tex Schramm and sees Garrett as his Tom Landry.

All we can do is watch and have a gallows sense of humor about it. 

Cujo
Cujo

{reality check!}THEY LOST TO REX-FREAKING-GROSSMAN FER CHRISSAKES!{/reality check!}

The Cowflops have tanked in the late season all too much in the past years, especially against the Iggles at home in JerryWhirled(tm). I don't predict any change this year, they've got some good talent but talent isn't the only thing as the Iggles found out this year. I don't see them beating Philly. After that, they've got the Giants who stink up the second half of the season as much as they do, so they still have the best chance.

Should they make the playoffs, it's likely they won't be at home anyway. Those suckers in Arlington aren't getting any additional income for footing the bill for Jerry's ego and they deserve it for voting for it.

mac5star
mac5star

Funny, I seem to recall Dallas spanking Philly in back to back games two years ago; the first one the last game of the regular season and the next week, the first round of the playoffs.

If Dallas wins the East, they will indeed be at home in the first round; most likely, hosting Atlanta (who will be a wild card behind N.O. in their division).

Please, do a tiny bit of research before ranting.

heysmartguy
heysmartguy

IF they win the division, they WILL host a wildcard game.

Scruffygeist
Scruffygeist

It's just far more entertaining to see the mouthbreathing, overweight, jersey-wearing football-is-life fans panic every time the Cowboys lose. And it keeps the ass-kissing media in line.

So for drama's sake, I kinda hope the Eagles win.

GeauxSaints
GeauxSaints

Michael Vick doesn't deserve anything good ever, for the rest of his life.  I'm not a Cowboys fan but I hope they beat the crap out of the Eagles.  My Christmas wish is that he will be sacked on every single play.

Oak Cliff Townie
Oak Cliff Townie

So If the Eagles do win We have to wonder what has Dallas done that is worse than Vick ?

GeauxSaints
GeauxSaints

No amount of coke and pot sales compares to strangling a dog with your bare hands.  He's a piece of shit.

Jackson33127
Jackson33127

yeah you 're racist. You hated because he is a black man who has a second chance in life.

GeauxSaints
GeauxSaints

Really?  I'm a racist because I think a man who tortures and kills animals is a bad person?  That's just silly.

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