This Year's Unfair Park Auction: The Ultimate GIft Package From the Texas Theatre

Photo by Barak Epstein

​We began this holiday tradition three years ago: auctioning off a hard-to-get-hold-of local trinket, with every last cent made going toward the North Texas Food Bank. This year's offering is a particularly special one -- a collection of offerings from the Texas Theatre, graciously and generously donated by Adam Donaghey, Barak Epstein, Jason Reimer and Eric Steele.

What you see is what you get -- a keychain, a tee and a membership card. But allow me to explain: There are at present just 10 keychains in existence, and they will never be plentiful. Matter of fact, each one is hand-crafted by the good folks at f. is for frank. Here, take a closer look; you can practically feel the weight of this pocket-sized work of art commissioned by Reimer.

The Lee Harvey Oswald tee, of course, speaks for itself. It too is hand-crafted, each tee the product of Pan Ector Industries in Denton. And, no doubt, you're aware of its back story as a point of controversy over the summer. It too is a rare item; Epstein says there are only a handful available, very close to none.

As for the membership, it's good for many things over the course of the coming year: discounts on admission, eats and merch. Not to mention: "first dibs invites to special events" and "invites to our rough cut labs series (also special consideration for filmmakers wanting to screen their work)." The cards alone go for $30.

By now you should know how this works: Leave your bid, and only your bid, in the comments; and, please, use a real email address when doing so. The auction closes at 10 tomorrow morning. The winner needs to swing by Unfair Park HQ by noon tomorrow to drop off their check, payable to the North Texas Food Bank, and pick up their winnings -- at least one of which could make a great last-minute gift item. I'm opening the bidding at $50. And ... go.

Update at 10:01 a.m. December 23: It warms my heart to say Friend of Unfair Park "Cynical Old Bastard" posted the winning bid at $200. Many thanks to all who bid, and don't let this put you off of donating to the North Texas Food Bank, which needs every dollar it can get.