Hey, Marathoners, Don't Make East Dallas Sic the Dogs on You. Oh, and Have Positive Day.
Damn. I almost forgot. Other things intervened. Please don't let this year get behind me without my taking an opportunity to say what I think of the White Rock Marathon, a foot-race carried out in my part of town on December 4.
Let me relate to you just one of several experiences of people who live in my own neighborhood. One household, struggling with the serious illness of a family member, was trying to get medical equipment and other supplies moved from one location to another. They had to hurry, because each trip to carry stuff meant leaving the family member unattended, which was dangerous.
They said none of the maps provided by the race to show where you could cross the route by car were accurate, a complaint I heard over and over again from others. When this family did find a uniformed Dallas Police officer at an intersection, he said he was not authorized to put up a hand and pause the runners for them to cross.
When they asked where they might cross, he said he was working off-duty, didn't even know any of the street names in our part of town and had no idea.
Maybe my mistake in the past in writing about this has been speaking negatively about running. So I'm not going to do that. I think runners are just completely positive. Everything they do is positive. Everything runners think or say out loud is totally positive. They have positive faces. Their dogs are positive.
But son of a bitch! Is it asking way too much for them to take some account of the needs of the communities through which they run? Some of us are not lucky enough to be as damn positive they are.
Some of us are sick. Some of us need to get to work. Some of us need to get to church. I don't know, I guess some others of us on a Sunday morning are probably just trying to remember where we live. We're not perfect in East Dallas.
Are we just completely irrelevant? Against the sheer shining positivity of the runners, are we nonexistent? Are we not even Ratzo Rizzo? Are we not walking here?
You know, if certain people are as positive as they think they are, then maybe while they're being so damned positive about their own crap they could give a half-assed positive thought to the rest of the world once in a while.
Please. Please. Do not make us revert to our inner East Dallas nature. We do not want to have to sic a pack of wild alley-running East Dallas yellow dogs on you. Because we've got 'em. Believe it. Devil-eyed yellow dogs with Dumpster juice dripping off their fangs. We don't want to handle it that way.
If anything, we're jealous of you: We want to be as positive as you are, runners of the world. Just give us a damn break every little chance you get and let us get through the race, at least by the time they start selling beer and wine again on Sunday.
Things can work out positively. Or, like I say. Negatively. We all have choices.