Rick Perry, Proving That When When Life Gives You Lemons, You Paint That Shit Gold

Categories: Campaign News
PerryTweet.JPG
OK, so just below this item is last night's Saturday Night Live sketch starring the best Rick Perry impersonator yet, Rick Perry. But a lot's happened since then as the Perry camp attempts to salvage the campaign. Like that tweet from the gov you see above. And: the hastily popped-up poll on the gov's website: "What part of the Federal Government would you like to forget about the most? Click here to vote!" And the missive sent to campaign supporters late last night, dispatched by a Friend of Unfair Park this morning. Let's read that Instant Campaign Classic:
Friend & Supporter,

We've all had human moments. President Obama is still trying to find all 57 states. Ronald Reagan got lost somewhere on the Pacific Highway in an answer to a debate question. Gerald Ford ate a tamale without removing the husk. And tonight Rick Perry forgot the third agency he wants to eliminate. Just goes to show there are too damn many federal agencies.

The governor said it best afterwards: "I'm glad I had my boots on, because I sure stepped in it tonight."

While the media froths over this all too human moment, we thought we would take this opportunity to ask your help in doing something much more constructive: write us to let us know what federal agency you would most like to forget.

Is it the EPA and its job-killing zealots? The NLRB and its czar-like dictates? The edu-crats at the Department of Education who aim to control your local curriculum?

Send your answer to forgetmenot@rickperry.org, and if you are on twitter join us in using a new twitter hashtag: #forgetmenot. And, if you could, throw in a $5 contribution for every agency you would like to forget. We hope you have a long list. And we promise we will write down every last idea. So we don't forget.

Still standing in our Boots,

Team Perry

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21 comments
Zeeba Neighba
Zeeba Neighba

This is exactly why I was so glad to see Perry delude himself into thinking that god wanted him to be President. The only thing he's capable of is bullshiting and playing off the Texan sense of exceptionalism. I imagine he though saying oops would be clever because the good ole boys in west Texas would think it shows he aint no fancy ass politician. But he's finding out the hard way that America as a whole is not bullshited quite as easily. Even has to mention that he has his boots on. But guess what PRick, no one wants another bullshiting cowboy with a mission from god mentality.

Marc
Marc

I would eliminate the DEA. Considering the hundreds of billlions of wasted taxpayer dollars THAT agency has consumed, with zero benefit, we would be much better off teaching people about the dangers of drugs (including the two most abused and deadliest drugs - alcohol and tobacco) and save all the money thrown away on a winless "war on drugs."

We could even legalize drugs, tax them, control manufacturing quality and distribution and make money off them rather than spending billions trying in vain to stop something that we cannot even dent while also sending billions more out of our country to support drug cartels in Mexico, Columbia and Afghanistan.

gabbahey
gabbahey

I have some bricks I could send, postage paid by the Perry camp of course, so he can build himself a fortress of solitude. After last night, he needs one.

Cliffhanger
Cliffhanger

Team Perry?  Sorry, there's NO WAY Bella's going with that loser.

Guest
Guest

I don't care about the flub. People's mind go blank all the time. It's generally not indicative of anything substantial.

But what's this crap about the Department of Education aiming to control my local curriculum? Rick Perry, the Legislature and other State Agencies have been doing everything in their power to take away as much local control of education as possible. The people within a school district can't even set their own tax rates.

Since he's become governor, we've been losing more and more local control of education. Why shouldn't we expect that same sort of thing on the national level if he were to get elected?

Perry Moore
Perry Moore

Leave the man alone. He makes me feel as if I could be governor. Of course, he also reminds me why I will never run for president. Or dogcatcher.

Scruffygeist
Scruffygeist

I don't want a governor (or President) who freaking tweets like a 12 year old.

Jack E. Jett
Jack E. Jett

After he completes the process of making a total ass of our state,.....will he come back to be our Gov....?If so, we need a major PR firm to at least let the world know that sane people live here and that we are really a cool state.

The99Percent
The99Percent

Nice try, tossing in the NLRB into the CYA email. It's there to protect works from dumb shits like Rick Perry.

Ed D.
Ed D.

Why eliminate the Department of Energy? Does Rick Perry hate the National Nuclear Security Administration and all of the other folks keeping our nukes safe? Or is he just trying to squash the Office of Civilian Radioactive Waste Management so Texas can be the nuke waste dump site for the world?

Brandonblake
Brandonblake

"sh*T RICK PERRY SAYS "  is my new favorite show.

Oak Cliff Townie
Oak Cliff Townie

The Governors  new BookMY OWN SNAPPY COME BACKS TO THE STUPID THINGS I SAY.

Lee
Lee

How about the governor of Texas? He is useless and now embarassing to Texans.

engmofo
engmofo

Yeah screw the EPA I love tearing my lungs apart breathin' that sweet Texas air

Doug
Doug

You really think his honor the gov actually typed that? You really think the geniuses who are running his "campaign" would let him anywhere near Twitter?  HAH!  I think not.

cp
cp

Tell me about it. I'm visiting my dad in Minnesota and EVERYONE here would rather vote for Michelle Bachman (who they concede is bat-shit crazy) over Goodhair. I'm very popular these days! 

Paul
Paul

The Governor of Texas has always been fairly useless.  Can't do much except appoint agency heads who over the years have shown that they do not have to do what the Governor wants them to do.

Besides being an embarassment to Texas is a requirement to be Governor.

We have had such luminairies as Pa Ferguson and Pappy Lee O'Daniel as Governors.

Don't forget the Sharpstown Bank Scandal which led to the slogan: "Texas:  The Best Politicians that Money Can Buy."

Likeicare
Likeicare

Don't forget George W Bush in that list.

cp
cp

Have you started watching the new Starz show "Boss"? In it, the current (fictitious) governor of Illinois who is running for re-election screams at one of his aides who was blabbering on about social networking: "It's a PRIMARY! Only the shut-ins, old people and crazies give a shit about PRIMARIES!" 

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