Federal Filing of the Day: Nebraska Man Says He Left Baylor With GPS Sewn in Armpit

Categories: The Courts
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The following is an excerpt from the Beat poetry of Michael Woolman of Lincoln, Nebraska, available in a complaint filed in Dallas federal court yesterday. He claims he checked in to Baylor for tonsil and sinus surgery, and left with an unexpected gift. Punctuation and spelling remain unchanged.
I was in ,"The Room after ,surgery& I needed ,to go to the bathroom .
I got up and a nurse assisted me to ,the bathroom.
I was going to the bathroom and , I finished.
All a sudden ,My cloth started falling off, I tried to pull ,my cloths up and ,,
My arm pit was bloody, Well I thought nothing of it, at the time.
Well , I came in for a since & noise surgery,? Why is my arm pit bloody ??????
Now after ,knowing ,what Bryan LGH was doing IS
Trying a new way to track people,
By inserting a GPS Device in people, Illegally.
The rest of his "proactclaimatipon" follows. Baylor GPS Lawsuit
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55 comments
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EWJ
EWJ

Somebody must had liked him, to want to follow his moves....  LOL!

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essay proofreading service

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Xavier
Xavier

Same thing happened to me. I woke up from surgery and found a USB port sewn in my rectum. Now every time I go to a gay bar I end up getting a firmware update.

Occultjam
Occultjam

Everyone knows they don't put those tracking devices in your armpit.  They put them in the crook of your knee.

David Porter
David Porter

And the con-sense us is, like Wow, is the, only re-sponce uhvale bull,. 

Paiva_family
Paiva_family

I'm confused as to why he thinks they want to track him? Unless he has evidence..ie.. an xray noone will take him seriously.Sounds just too bizarre to be factual.  

Badtastic
Badtastic

Sorry, I don't speak.....whatever language that is supposed to be.

Batsu
Batsu

Ahhh. He has discovered the grand conspiracy hatched by Baylor Hospital (with the help of aliens): To insert tracking devices so we can follow people who do absolutely nothing and have no useful qualities whatsoever. 'Cause you know, why would you want to tag or track someone important when you can follow around this guy instead and watch him abuse the hell out of the English language?

Sam
Sam

LMAO! Of course, if you're right, and the aliens are learning English from this guy to try and communicate with us - how will we ever understand them??? :)

Guest
Guest

Maybe we can "Phone" them like ET did

Baylor UMC Fan
Baylor UMC Fan

We have four kids born at Baylor UMC - No chips in any of them

David Smith
David Smith

You sure?

I'm are an engin . . . enginea . . . one of those guys who actually understands technology.

A modern double frequency RFID can be smaller than the head of a pin, manufactured in bulk (millions) for a few cents, and CAN NOT be detected unless the search transmitter manages to hit both frequencies (fat chance).

You might be able to detect it w a very detailed X ray.  But, if you don't find one, it still might be there.

Sleep well, all you who trust.

scottindallas
scottindallas

how do you know?  I'm not worried about this, but seriously, have you had them checked for microchip implantation?  I would doubt it.  I would doubt it's necessary, but you're making an unsubstantiated claim. 

Terry O'Malley
Terry O'Malley

The questions everyone needs to be asking is why wuold the Baylor Corporation take such a financial risk and the negative PR hit?

CentralScruntinizer
CentralScruntinizer

I'd diagnose schizophrenia compounded by about a decade of Fox News.

Tim
Tim

Just a cheap shot at Fox News, without any real link or context.  Your pony-tail Poli-Sci 101 instructor would be so proud.

CentralScruntinizer
CentralScruntinizer

Good God! We mustn't speak ill of Fox News!  After all, they are fair and balanced....

CentralScruntinizer
CentralScruntinizer

Oh you wry raging wit.  With your wingnut anger and those wacky zingers, you should've written for the half hour comedy hour!

Tim
Tim

Wow, if you count my reply as rage, you must soil yourself when spoken to actually harshly.

Now calm down, and bask in that warmth and whatever bit of your mom's clothing you like to dress in, so as to feel more comfortable.  No one is judging you in your home.

Tim
Tim

You are the one who just had to drag in gratuitously Fox News.  Yes, I know that's short-hand for know-nothing leftists who want to sound snarky smart.

But Jon Stewart you are not.

Scott
Scott

All the cogency of Rick Perry.

T
T

Oh, come on. With a proofreader, a few references to 'Obamacare' and a glancing invocation of 'death panels' he'd be a guest on Hannity.

Webregjoe
Webregjoe

Well just look up a company called Veri chip, they have plans to chip flu vaccines

Patti
Patti

Why wouldn't you black out his name & address?

Roy Benevidez
Roy Benevidez

It is a public Federal Court filing. Why should his name and address be redacted?

scottindallas
scottindallas

cause it appears the purpose of the item posting was to mock him, or at the very least, his grammar.

scottindallas
scottindallas

It's rather ugly and shameful to mock a man who's not erudite.  My mother-in-law is illiterate, never studied math.  But, she came here and could convert prices to what they charged in Algeria.  If there is any merit to his claims, we should all be concerned.  He has a malpractice suit just in the incision in his side, even if he didn't spell it properly.  There are many more wild surgery stories than a gps device being left in a patient.  All kinds of crazy things happen.  But, what we have are charges that none of us have any other evidence about.  Is the incision under his arm imaginary?  I don't know, nor do you.  But, it hasn't stopped every single one of you from mocking this man that is clearly not as fortunate as you.  You really should be ashamed.  Being stupid, or uneducated doesn't make you crazy.  There are MANY people who are very well educated in the media who are ignoramuses on facts where they have PhDs.

BCulbreath
BCulbreath

The man had enough sense to get the correct form ,and file,  so couldn't be so crazy.I guess all English majors blogging tonight.

JWP
JWP

You're all sane. You can go to hell.

Thelisma Partridge
Thelisma Partridge

Tonight at 10: Records Show Baylor Bought GPS Units From Wai-Wize for $300,000

John2247
John2247

Sounds more Parkland than Baylor.

RTGolden
RTGolden

This guy is great!  He needs his own show on TV.  Thank God we live in a demockcery, where this stuff is permitted.  I wonder if he's available to be Warren Jeff's defense council.

TXGirl
TXGirl

I am now dumber for having read this. 

Anna Merlan
Anna Merlan

I dig his line breaks. It's like beautiful poetry. Beautiful, crazy poetry. 

LesliO
LesliO

Did he write this wearing his aluminum foil hat?  And someone had to notarize it!

Pamela Flores
Pamela Flores

Wow. Worried about his privacy? Well there is his address. Not smart.

MattL1
MattL1

Is this guy's spelling a little bit off, or did my education fail me a lot more than I realize?

Mountain Creek
Mountain Creek

I think we've found who's responsible for the writing of every bill to pass the House and Senate for the past 10 years!  

Justin Julian
Justin Julian

This isn't funny, it's sad.  Serious paranoid schizophrenia.  This guy needs to be 5150'd, stat, before he hurts someone or himself.

Tad Banyon
Tad Banyon

If that guy is not seriously schizophrenic, then I'm a Chinese ballerina.I do like that fill-in-the-blanks document, though. 

LisaK
LisaK

And the sad thing is Baylor will now have to spend money to "defend" this.

Montemalone
Montemalone

Is this guy related to Betty?

BCulbreath
BCulbreath

No, he's a little worse . He sure has a good case, and just maybe with his settlement he will go back to school.I'm to old and don't particularly give a dam what you say  long as you get the point.

Chris Danger
Chris Danger

Wow, what a way to take a pop at the good people of Lincoln...but it is the mid-west, he might've picked it up there with one of them "secret government experiments" they disguise as UFO abductions..I wonder if he can pick up Coast To Coast AM and Alex Jones on the chip...

Sam Arellano
Sam Arellano

You have to be kidding me! It's completely unintelligible, moronic, and unbelievable! I hope it is thrown out of court before it costs the taxpayers a lot of money. This guy needs professional help!

FIzzYfizzz
FIzzYfizzz

your basis of criticism is moronic.  just because someone is uneducated, doesn't make them dumb as you.  if the case has any basis hopefully better counsel will take the case and also publicize this.  if it's a big nothing, and we all hope it is, it will disapppear.  

Porky
Porky

Sam Arella didn't call anyone 'Dumb' or 'Uneducated' for that matter. Her comment was 100% right, This guy apparently has Paranoid Skizoprenia thinking people are trying to follow him or listen in on him.. Look it up, do your research. And now it will be a waste of tax payers money, he needs to be sent for some help and the case thrown out..these type of people waste soo much of our money everyday in this Country, No wonder we are going down in the dumps, wake up.

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