Don't Mince Words, GQ, What Do You Really Think About How Dallas Men Dress?

Categories: Fashion
douchebags-in-the-mist.jpg
A Friend of Unfair Park directs our attention to GQ's round-up of The 40 Worst-Dressed Cities in America, and if there's one bit of good news, it's this: Austin and Houston are just a wee bit fuglier, coming at No. 18 and No. 21, respectively, on a list where Dallas ranks 23rd. But, really, the list seems to exist solely to take potshots at everyone, seeing as how the seemingly stylish Manhattan comes in at No. 5. On the other hand, the Dallas entry does read like a recap of a certain Observer cover story from '07:
Forget J.R. Ewing. The 21st century Big D douchebag favors Fight Club frosted tips and whisked jeans over Stetsons and ostrich-skin boots. Regionally dubbed the "$30,000 Millionaire" for spending more than he makes, this breed of twenty-something male works as a Chipotle assistant manager by day and "Entourage" wannabe by night. Unlike his L.A. or New York counterparts, the Dallas $30Ker plies his trade in a cultural vacuum best known for putting a bullet in JFK's head and erecting a nine-story JumboTron at the Cowboys stadium. Frustrated but never self-aware, he wanders Dallas with maxed-out credit cards, toned biceps, and a nagging sense he somewhere took a wrong turn.

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47 comments
RTGolden
RTGolden

I think all the 'style' washed out of my khakis, top-siders, and polo shirts.  Aint it glorious to be a 20k thousandaire!!??

SyLabus
SyLabus

What a bunch of nonsense to list Manhattan. I've never seen a higher percentage of well-dressed people in any American city. Actually, the entire idea of a list is superfluous, because bad fashion has so engulfed this country, no state can escape it. Get outside select neighborhoods in most cities and the lack of style will blind you.

ScottsMerkin
ScottsMerkin

Hey brah, who wants to meet up at plush later on, I got some bottle service scheduled and cant wait to drink up some red bull vodkas and hit on drunk chicks.  Ill even show you my brand new BMW 1 series I just picked up at Autoflex

uncle beef
uncle beef

another nono: sandals at any time on dudes, especially as evening wear. 

rsfred
rsfred

I grew up in Dallas (Lakewood) and have been going out here since the end of the disco era. I am also somewhat of a world traveler. I go to fancy places (and dives - we like both in E. Dallas) such as the top hotels, bars and the theater. Dallas dresses better for a summer musical at Fair Park than do patrons of the theater in LA, the Vienna Opera, London's West End and Broadway.

MattL1
MattL1

Hey, if you consider the fact that we beat Houston, Austin, New York AND Boston (the worst), Dallas didn't do so bad.  Considering what I see on a daily basis, we could have been a lot higher on that list.

Coleman
Coleman

observation: I really don't see people wearing cowboy boots all that often in Dallas.

Dallas Diner
Dallas Diner

What guy wouldn't want to be in Entourage?

trannyntraining
trannyntraining

straightjackets never seem to go out of style...I suggest everyone go purchase one now, before they run out!

29k millionare
29k millionare

At least we know how to have a good motherfuckin time!  Unlike a lot of east coast cities where people are so uptight! 

Nick R.
Nick R.

To be fair, Brad Pitt only has frosted tips in Fight Club until he shaves his head. Which is why I shaved my head. Because it was in Fight Club

GusMitchem
GusMitchem

Im totally anti-dbag and used not being a dbag to score lots of chicks looking for a real guy that opens doors and such, but the 30K thing is totally outdated can we raise that on up to 50K and I really think that lots of out of town folks have trouble accepting the fact that there are lots of good (+50K) jobs here and very cheap COL.  

txnomad
txnomad

Can't say I was impressed in NYC.  Besides, the weather is different in the south.  Why would anyone want to wear a jacket and slacks when it's over 90 degrees outside from May to October?  And L.A.?  I thought the whole city was on the way to a funeral or a Johnny Cash concert with all the black outfits.

PDmarks
PDmarks

Truth. Sadly, there are tons of D-bags in dallas.  Rhinestone city.

Borborygmus
Borborygmus

"You know? Life's funny - you can sleep off a hangover but you can't sleep off ugly."

Patrick Michels
Patrick Michels

That note of self-awareness at the end is a real copout, unless they're talking about a late-night drive home on the tollway.

scottindallas
scottindallas

Well, considering it's nuts to wear pants here for 4 months out of the year, pointless to wear a jacket 8 months out of the year and hard to wear a sweater for more than 60 days out of the year; what do you expect.  Even wearing a black tee shirt here is prohibitive in daylight hours about half the year. 

Anonymous
Anonymous

They're spot on, but Addison isn't actually Dallas (though it's closer than Arlington where the stadium is).

Dallas Diner
Dallas Diner

Being geographically challenged, they should have made an effort to look up in what city Cowboy Stadium is located.  If you can't find that, how the hell can you find a Dallas "fashion hot spot?"

ScottsMerkin
ScottsMerkin

Did they hire Andrea Grimes to write that, or at least cite her story in the notes, jeez

Chelsea
Chelsea

you have to take into consideration that it has been over 100 degrees for over 2 weeks straight in Texas.  Sometimes you have to make some choices----fashion or comfort.  Not taking up for Dallas at all.....but just sayin.  I could agree with the no sandals with pants....but shorts and sandals may be a staple of summer wardrobe..and reasonably so

Diane Birdwell
Diane Birdwell

Yes, they dress well, but have no clue how to act at a theater. They arrive late, talk, and give a standing ovation for the littlest thing. NYC theater people loko at Dallas as quaint--and naive.

PlanoDave
PlanoDave

That's because the summer musicals at Fair Park and anything in the Arts District is above the price tag of the 30K millionaire crowd.  You may catch an occasional poser there but the DDF ("Douchebag Density Factor") is much lower in those venues.

Try the Hard Rock Cafe sometime...

PlanoDave
PlanoDave

Probably because they didn't include Frisco and Irving in "Dallas"...

Htownanduknowitsgoindown
Htownanduknowitsgoindown

far more common in Houston. The standard uniform of my highschool was cowboys boots, jeans, a polo, and a baseball cap with a cool college logo on it.

Bigjondaniel
Bigjondaniel

Uptight because when you went there, no one would talk to you?

PlanoDave
PlanoDave

Yes, you do. 

Unfortunately for the rest of us in town, having a "good m-f time" means acting like a total douche. 

And roll down your sleeves.  Nobody cares what fabric is on the underside of the cuffs.

ben r
ben r

Are you my cousin

Anonymous
Anonymous

you're kidding if you think they don't exist everywhere. it's possible that they are disproportionately represented in Dallas, but I'm not sure I'm even willing to go that far.

PlanoDave
PlanoDave

Too tall, hair isn't patchy enough and somebody is actually talking to him.  I vote not.

Fplus
Fplus

Diane I'd like to interview you for my book "Gross Generalizations about the A-holes from New York". Are you interested?

phe_75034
phe_75034

"Douchebag Density Factor" = Genius

scottindallas
scottindallas

Is there a Hard Rock cafe in Dallas?  I wouldn't know

Douchetouche
Douchetouche

most of the time it's too warm to wear sleeves fully extended. just sayin-

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