Burn Bans Force Colbert to Mess With Texas

By Robert Wilonsky Thu., Jun. 30 2011 at 12:47 PM

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On Tuesday, you'll recall, Dallas County went under a 90-day outdoor-burn ban, which includes shootin' off fireworks within the city limits. Violators will be popped with a class-C misdemeanor ticket, which will be stuffed into your pocket if you've managed to lose a finger or five. Dallas, of course, is but one of a record 235 Texas counties under such burn bans. Which is why Stephen Colbert tackled the subject last night -- because placing restrictions on celebrating with fireworks is downright un-American, an attack on "shabby, cash-only roadside shacks that sell Chinese explosives to drunk people."

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That's mighty reckless Stephen.

G_David

Did you mean within county limits? I think that it's always been illegal within the city of Dallas.

Robert Wilonsky

Well, I mean within the limits of all cities in Dallas County. Per the burn ban notice sent Tuesday:

Fireworks will not be permitted UNLESS in unincorporated areas (Fireworks NOT permitted within city limits). Citizens must have a permit for the use of fireworks on any parcel of land within the county. Violators will be issued a citation if the person knowingly or intentionally violates this restriction. The offense is a Class C Misdemeanor.

NOTE: If you have any doubts about whether or not you are in an unincorporated area - DO NOT shoot fireworks in that area. Our best advice is BE SAFE - enjoy city sponsored or professionally monitored fireworks displays.

G_David

Got it. Personally, I never really understood what's so awesome about shooting off one's own fireworks to begin with (though I seem to be in the minority). They kind of suck compared to professional displays.

El Rey

We do it every year at our friends ranch near the Red River. It is very impressive and fun. the trick is to pool your money and find a stand that will give you a volume (family)discount. A few families kicking in $$$ will get a great show. It also gives us a good opportunity to teach the youngsters about fireworks safety.

Helpful hints: Screw the bases of the artillery shell tubes to a piece of plywood so they don't fall over. Wet the grass thoroughly after sunset. Keep a hose handy.