"Gunga Galunga," Which Means: The Dalai Lama's Going to Receive Honorary SMU Degree

dalai lama.jpg
This just in from The Hilltop: On May 9, the Dalai Lama's going to appear on the Southern Methodist University campus, where he'll speak from 2:30 to 3:30 p.m. at McFarlin Auditorium as part of SMU's 10th Hart Global Leaders Forum. Per the announcement, the spiritual leader of the Tibetan peoples and Nobel Peace Prize recipient is expected to speak to "approximately 2,500 guests, primarily local high school students and SMU students and faculty."

But there's a slim chance you can attend: Tickets are available on an extremely limited basis here. "First come, first served." And ... go.

And while he's on campus, the Lama will also pick up an honorary degree. So he's got that going for him. Which is nice.

Update at 5:29 p.m.: This just in from SMU:
Due to overwhelming demand, the limited number of free tickets made available to the general public were all reserved within an hour of the announcement of his upcoming appearance. The event will be available via live webcast at www.smu.edu/live.
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11 comments
Clancey
Clancey

With thanks to Ogden Nash:

In far TibetThere live a lama,He got no poppa,Got no momma,

He got no wife,He got no chillun,Got no useFor penicillun,

He got no soap,He got no opera,He don't know IriumFrom copra,

He got no songs,He got no banter,He don't know Hope,He don't know Cantor,

He got no teeth,He got no gums,Don't eat no Spam,Don't need no Tums.

He love to nick himWhen he shave;He also gotNo hair to save.

Got no distinction,No clear head,Don't call for Calvert;Drink milk instead.

He use no lotionsFor allurance,He got no carAnd no insurance,

No Alsop warnings,No Pearson rumorFor this self-centeredNon-consumer.

Indeed, theIgnorant Have-NotDon't even knowWhat he don't got.

If you will mindThe box-tops, comma,I think I'll goAnd join that lama.

Heywood U Buzzoff
Heywood U Buzzoff

Man, where was he during the LLama competition during the stock show??

Jack E. Jett
Jack E. Jett

If I were a total cornballer I would say Hello.........Dali...

Ruth Bader Sandwich
Ruth Bader Sandwich

Carl Spackler: So I jump ship in Hong Kong and make my way over to Tibet, and I get on as a looper at a course over in the Himalayas. A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. So, I tell them I'm a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald... striking. So, I'm on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one -- big hitter, the Lama -- long, into a ten-thousand foot crevice, right at the base of this glacier. And do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga...gunga -- gunga galunga. So we finish the eighteenth and he's gonna stiff me. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know." And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consiousness." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice.

Carl Spackler: This is a hybrid. This is a cross, ah, Bluegrass, Kentucky Bluegrass, Featherbed Bent, and Northern California Sensemilia. The amazing stuff about this is, that you can play 36 holes on it in the afternoon, take it home and just get stoned to the bejeezus-belt that night on this stuff. Here, I've got pounds of this.

Carl Spackler: Pay no attention to that bush, moving around over there by that tree, it's just a bush. Nothing to look twice at. Nothing to be alarmed about. This looks like it could be gravy. I smell varmint poontang, and the only good varmint poontang is dead varmint poontang. Freeze gopher!

Carl Spackler: License to kill gophers by the government of the United Nations. Man, free to kill gophers at will. To kill, you must know your enemy, and in this case my enemy is a varmint. And a varmint will never quit - ever. They're like the Viet Cong - Varmint Cong. So you have to fall back on superior firepower and superior intelligence. And that's all she wrote.

Carl Spackler: What an incredible Cinderella story, this unknown comes outta no where to lead the pack, at Augusta. He's on his final hole, he's about 455 yards away - he's gonna hit about a two-iron I think. Oh he got all of that one! The crowd is standing on its feet here, the normally reserved Augusta crowd - going wild - for this young Cinderella, he's come outta no where, he's got about 350 yards left, he's gonna hit about a five-iron, don't you think? He's got a beautiful backswing - that's - Oh he got all of that one! He's gotta be pleased with that, the crowd is just on its feet here, uh - He's the Cinderella boy, uh - tears in his eyes I guess as he lines up this last shot, he's got about 195 yards left, he's got about a - its looks like he's got about an eight-iron. This crowd has gone deathly silent, the Cinderella story, outta no where, a former greenskeeper now - about to become the Masters champion. It looks like a mirac - It's in the Hole!

carl
carl

the flowing robes, the grace, everything

Kstein
Kstein

"So I got that goin' for me... which is nice."

Clancey
Clancey

This for the Balkan readers, pilfered from the internet, much funnier than the English version:

Ustajem sad i idem

Cak u TibetZivi lama,Nema tata,Nema mama.

Nema zena,Nema deca,jok mu treba,Streptomeca.

Nema sapun,Nema plakar,Ne zna najlon,Ne zna bakar.

Nema slager,Nema rok,Ne zna Presli,Bitls jok.

Nema desni,Nema zubi,Ne zna pastaPa u tubi.

Voli seceKad se brije,Bas ga kosaBriga nije.

Ne zna sljokaKao neko,Nema bonton,Pije mleko.

Ne zna sta jeKlozmetika,Nema kolaDa se slika.

Nema stampai te stvari,NepotrosacTo je stari.

Taj sebicnjakSamo drema,Nema pojamNi sta nema.

Zato, zarez,Kazem svim,Idem nadjemDruzim s njim.

Jack E. Jett
Jack E. Jett

I can't do it Robert...I just have too much class.

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