Tom Leppert Rediscovers His Virginity

Categories: Get Off My Lawn

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The Gromer Jeffers story in The Dallas Morning News Saturday reporting that Tom Leppert now opposes federal earmark money for the Trinity River project put me in mind of an old newspaper friend.

He had struggled mightily with temptation during his younger married years. I should say, he struggled mightily and lost. Always. I hadn't seen him in a long time.

Now, much older, he told he thought his morality had improved enormously since he had become impotent.

"You wouldn't believe how good I am now at resisting temptation," he told me. "As far as I'm concerned, I haven't just got my virtue back. I think my virginity has been restored."

Leppert_Kay.jpg
Tom and Kay now agree: Earmarks are very, very bad.
Well, maybe. All it took for for Leppert to overcome a major lust for federal earmark money was leaving his post as mayor of Dallas and becoming instead a candidate for the U.S. Senate.

Leppert told Jeffers he now opposes the use of congressional earmarks to fund Dallas' massive multibillion-dollar public works boondoggle and thinks it should be paid for instead as part of a "responsible budget."

I guess he's got his virginity back too. And it sounds like it wasn't even very painful.

During the years he was our mayor, Leppert led delegations of Dallas officials up to Washington on what we might call the painted lady tour -- well, I suppose we should call it the painted ladies and painted gentlemen tour -- offering gracious knows what sort of favors to the congressional delegation, one blushes to think, in exchange for financial support for the Trinity project.

And I don't mean to single Leppert out for loose behavior. After all, everybody who was anybody in Dallas was up there strutting their stuff, trying to raise a wolf whistle from the capitol building. The Dallas Morning News regularly published editorials entreating Congress in ways I always thought were a tad blue.

There was a particular letter-to-the-editor that Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison sent to The News that I wish I could share with you properly, by linking to it, but I cannot for the life of me penetrate The News's new paywall, even though I am a paying subscriber and should be able to get in. Talk about a chastity belt!

But I did manage to scare up a copy off the Internet somehow, and I have simply reproduced it for you below. Hutchison sent the letter to The News after she had decided she would not run for office. She may have been experiencing a sudden rush of virtue and honestly herself as a result.

The letter was in answer to a story in The News about how on earth the Trinity project was going to survive now that Hutchison had joined the Tea Party in coming out against earmarks.

Here it is. Read it, and see if it doesn't put Maid Leppert, the Morning News and the rest of the Dallas Citizens Council crowd in a certain light:

It ran January 19:

Re: "Bridge task gets tougher -- Earmark ban wipes out a major funding source for Dallas' 2nd Calatrava span," Saturday news story.

I was troubled by this article, which inaccurately reported that a moratorium on federal earmarks is the cause of bridge funding problems in Dallas.

As someone who has long worked to address Dallas' infrastructure challenges, I am disappointed that my office was not contacted for comment or information that might have painted a clearer picture of the situation. The reality is the second Trinity bridge could be completed with the local match from the city of Dallas.

According to the Texas Department of Transportation, the second Trinity bridge will cost a total of $350 million. At this time, the city of Dallas has not committed any funding to the project.

This is not a criticism of Dallas -- the city is in a position to determine its transportation infrastructure priorities and to allocate funding as it deems appropriate.

The Texas congressional delegation has provided $93 million, or 26.5 percent, of the necessary funding, and TxDOT and other local contributions have committed to 49 percent of the total cost. If Dallas provides 24.5 percent -- a local match consistent with bridge projects of this nature -- the second bridge would be fully funded, and construction could begin.

I look forward to continued efforts with local officials and the Texas delegation to support the Trinity flood control and bridge project.

U.S. Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison,
Washington, D.C.

I love that letter. To me, it says: "Wash your faces, get some clothes on, go get some honest jobs and stop coming up here begging me for money all the time."

To which I would only add: "Don't forget to do behind your ears."


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29 comments
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Eam0061
Eam0061

He didnt rediscover his virginity! He just learned how to fake it!

Jgreenan
Jgreenan

Yes, indeed, old age is a tremendous aid to avoiding temptation. I figure if I live another 100 years, then I'll be just about perfect!

JimS
JimS

Of course, the utimate cure to our imperfections is that off-putting fellow with the scythe.

yeah, I said that
yeah, I said that

Per your title at the top....yeah, he's got a new position and it ain't on top, jusayin....

Richard Fontina
Richard Fontina

I grow a little weary of seeing the Leppert bashing from folks in the media...and it's only been a couple days since he announced. I thought he was a fantastic mayor and look forward to a day when I can call him Senator. He supports a balanced budged amendment and efforts to get control over spending in D.C. As a business guy, I think he has the background to fight for both, and a track record which shows he can get it done.

...This article may be trying to make valid points, but it's tough to sift through all the grade school sarcasm to get to it...

Who Ray
Who Ray

The "lions" inside the beltway will eat him alive.........I can't wait........

Ed D.
Ed D.

Doesn't every politician want "control over spending"? As soon as they get it, they go hog wild with trillion dollar unfunded drug subsidies or multi-trillion dollar unfunded wars or massive trainloads of cash to their favored contractors. And the Democrats are no better.

Oak Cliff Townie
Oak Cliff Townie

Nice try !But after being fleeced Harold Hill and Mr Haney ( GREEN ACRES ) you are going to have to work harder to fool me !

Tom L (No, Not That L)
Tom L (No, Not That L)

Dear Muhammad Saeed al-Sahhaf,

Good to see you've finally gotten a new job! I guess you haven't really done any PR since you worked for Saddam, huh?

heavy metal church lady
heavy metal church lady

Mr. Fontina,

Perhaps, but aren't you forgetting about his career with WaMu prior to becoming mayor? How's that WaMu thing working out?

JimS
JimS

Richard Fontina: Sorry. pal, but you sure do sound like a paid disinformationizer working for a campaign.

JimS
JimS

Richard: suggestion to campaign. Hire non-lawyer under 50 years of age to handle blog thing.

Jay
Jay

JimS - I'm relatively sure "Richard Fontina" is a fictitious name.

JimS
JimS

JimS: try to learn how to post comments.

PlanoDave
PlanoDave

@Richard,

RE: Grade school sarcasm

It's "puff, puff, give", bro. Gotta remember to pass it otherwise you just start spewing really funny crap out of your pie hole...

cynical old bastard
cynical old bastard

"He supports a balanced budged amendment and efforts to get control over spending..."

So why did he run up so much public debt caused by government spending while he was Mayor? And, once again, please list why he was a "fantastic mayor." Because he won referendums for government spending?

Guest
Guest

A track record that shows he can control spending?

Was it the tens of millions of public funds spent on a publicly owned hotel that convinced you of his fiscal responsibility?

How about his strong desire to build a multi-billion dollar tollroad in the river? And his continued reliance on earmarks to get federal money spent in Dallas?

Was it the deck park? Or the signature bridges that showed you his track record of fiscal restraint?

Or was it his stewardship of Washington Mutual when he was on the board there and the company was driving itself into a ditch that required government bailouts to continue?

I consider myself a Republican, and aside from his ONCE opposing a tax increase (after he had previously supported an effective tax increase), he's been the anti-Republican as Dallas mayor. Can we really believe that, now that he's been talking about being a Republican for about a week now, that he's truly bought in to the things Republicans claim to stand for?

Or is it only saying the right words that matter in a Senate race? His track record is spend, spend, spend, but he says he's for fiscal restraint, so it must be so.

Montemalone
Montemalone

Thanks for planting an image, which I shall have to consume large quantities of fermented beverages to erase from my mind, of Leppert doing what he had to do to lose his virginity in the first place.

Kerry_okie
Kerry_okie

If he had Gene Simmons' tongue to go with those hands, he probably would have never got past foreplay.

who ray
who ray

$350 Million..........for a bridge?...........totally ridiculous waste of money..........no matter where the money comes from...........Dallas' $86 Million for the 2nd bridge will likely be spent on levee repairs, anyway.

Jay D
Jay D

Too right its a waste of money for a bridge.

For only $330 Million, we could have built three more DECK PARKS!!! Imagine the pride of having three additional 5 acre parcels, each capping a few hundred yards of freeway, surrounded by rich folk condos and arts venues.

Oak Cliff Townie
Oak Cliff Townie

TOM TOM come back come back you've forgotten to tell us how you improved the schools .

ray
ray

What I want know is where are all the "Leppert Changing His Spots" jokes? I want some simple Readers Digest jokes I can understand, not all this confusing stuff about earmarks and funding percentages.

Lakewooder
Lakewooder

Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Put Lead in My Pencil

anonono
anonono

My erectile function is putting distance in my relationship

Cvote
Cvote

I heart the erectile dysfunction banner at the top of the page.

Bigjondaniel
Bigjondaniel

Cvote - banners these days are context sensitive depending on where you've been surfing. sorry

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