Thank You, Tom Leppert. We Really Mean It.

Categories: Get Off My Lawn

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Oh, my gosh, Tom Leppert has made Dwaine Caraway the new mayor -- thank you so much for that, Tom -- and I just realized I never finished the fictional saga I was writing for you, my cherished readers, about The Adventures of Arthur and Archie. So sorry about that. Other things just got in the way. You know, like editors. (Editor's note: You're welcome, dearest Friends of Unfair Park.)

You will remember, I know, that when we left them, Arthur and Archie, the famous friends of Mayor Caraway, were in Uptown, demanding that the police deliver them a pizza. All I can do at this late date is sort of summarize and tell you that they did get their pizza; the police chief recovered from his nervous breakdown; and Carol Reed ascended back into heaven. Happy endings for all, in other words.

Of course, all of that was just foolishness and something I was doing to pass the time. Now that Mayor Caraway is about to take office, I think we have more important things to consider.

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Bosom buddies.
For example, will there be a place for Arthur and Archie in his administration? You may recall that the famous duo came into the limelight for the first time in the recent unfortunate incident in which the now mayor of Dallas called the police chief and requested a special squad be sent out to his house to get his wife in order.

The now mayor of Dallas, who was not mayor at that time, fibbed about things and told reporters at first he had called police because his friends, Arthur and Archie, were causing a ruckus, arguing over a football game. Now all this time has passed, and we still haven't had a chance to meet the famous duo in person. That's why I was making up a story about them. I knew people were hungry to know more.

I can't wait for the first mayoral news conference. I want to ask if the mayor of Dallas has considered putting Arthur and Archie in charge of the city's next Super Bowl bid. I bet they could handle that seat thing better than Jerry did.

Once again, Tom Leppert, a great big thank you. I can't remember when a mayor of Dallas left this city in a situation quite like this one.

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27 comments
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Bettyculbreath
Bettyculbreath

Jim,I think Caraway will make us proud,at least he won't give the City to DCC.I spent Super Bowl game day ,with Archie and Arthur ,they are both real and alive ,even fun.Renegade, he did not give any false report to police,they wrote the truth.The Mayor verbalized to press misunderstanding with A&A, in that type of situation I'm sure he was not thinking properly.Lets give him the same benefit that we would anyone else.I am not mad about the key to Vick,nor am I upset that Caraway told Police, to make better use of resources,after every parking ticket they issued , on private ,was dismissed because they did not meet State law,in other words the tickets were illegal.What about that,how do you all ,continue to ignore the whole truth, I wish Mayor Caraway well,I will not hate on him before he even picks up a gabble,I did not know Leppert,had never heard of him,did not know if he could talk or Chair a meeting ,I did not hate on him and I will not dig a ditch for Caraway.

Pigskinnie
Pigskinnie

That sentence about the gabble was the longest sentence I've ever read

Thelisma Partridge
Thelisma Partridge

All of Caraway's fibbing about Arthur and Archie and poker games etc. was just practice. He knew he had some pretty big lie-filled shoes to fill when Mayor Past Tem Leppert left.

Rico
Rico

As they say, every silver lining has a black cloud, or something like that. Wait, can I still say "black cloud"?

Mullinobud
Mullinobud

Leppert claims (DMN article) he is leaving the city in better shape than it was when he took office. Dallas with Caraway in the position of mayor is better? Really?!?

CrackerDaddy
CrackerDaddy

Oh boy!!! This is going to be greeeat!!! (Channeling my inner Flounder from Animal House)

scottindallas
scottindallas

Now that we have Caraway as Mayor, have you noticed those levees? These stupid black and brown people and Sherbert--see he's white, so this is TOTALLY NOT racist.--the stupid people ruined this city! See what affirmative action gets you! YOUR GRANDMOTHER'S SACRED VAGINA IS NEXT! ONCE THEY ARE DONE WITH THE CITY, IT'S STRAIGHT TO THE NURSING HOME!

Daniel
Daniel

TIME TO WAKE UP, NAIVE LIBERAL FUCKTARD SCHULTZE

% OF BLACKS IN DALLAS = 25%% OF MAYORS OF DALLAS WHO ARE BLACK = 100%

NOW JUST TRY TO DENY THOSE NUMBERS NAIVE LIBERAL FUCKTARD SCHULTZE IT'S JUST THE WORLD YOU'VE ASKED FOR ALL THESE YEARS ENJOY!!!

CrackerDaddy
CrackerDaddy

I can see someone hasn't taken their lithium.

Jack E. Jett
Jack E. Jett

If Mayor Batshit is getting paid more than $3.75 an hour, we are getting ripped off big time.

And what is so earth shattering that Mayor Tom must leave this minute? Will he do the same as a member of the Senate?

Karl
Karl

Let's not forget about the streets. Rarely do these clowns talk about fixing the infrastructure, and when they do, they say we'll do it while at the same time cutting taxes - how's that going to work?

Manhole cover needs to be level with the surrounding asphalt you effing morons - what is so difficult about that concept.

I was thinking about throwing my name in the ring for mayor, but I'll run next time after the next mayor takes the hit for the city really going over the edge. Thanks Tom for taking us to the brink, maybe the inarticulate guy from Pizza the Hut can take us straight to the gates of hell.

MattL1
MattL1

Well, I think Archie would do just fine with the next Super Bowl bid. Problem is, everybody knows Arthur hates the Cowboys and therefore might sabotage the whole thing to make them, and Archie, look bad.

Lakewooder
Lakewooder

County Commissioner - Price

Dallas County Judge - Jenkins

Council Woman - Davis

Mayor - Caraway

DA - Watkins

Sheriff - Valdez

DISD Sup - Hinojosa

Senator - West

The list goes on and on...

World class city, indeed.

Joanne Rhone
Joanne Rhone

Personally, I'm so glad Liar-Liar Leppert is gone, that I don't care who is Mayor as long as he's not.

John McCaa's tie knot
John McCaa's tie knot

Not being critical, just curious to hear what you think Leppert lied about and why you think he was bad for Dallas?

maze
maze

It's been said before, but bears repeating, Arthur and Archie will never not be funny.

DoubleOJoe
DoubleOJoe

Are you kidding? The (now) Mayor made up two fictional people to try and cover up the fact that he called the police on his own wife. That's not funny; it's frikkin' hilarious.

As an aside: am I the only one who pictures Mayor Caraway watching the Cowboys game with Dudley Moore and a red-headed kid from Riverdale?

Renegade
Renegade

When will Mayor Caraway be indicted for making a false police report?

JimS
JimS

Maze: You are a man of perspicacity, wit and discernment. Would you mind speaking to Patrick Williams about this?

Tom L (No, Not That L)
Tom L (No, Not That L)

I'm expecting great things from Mayor Caraway. And by "great things" I mean "great entertainment". And by "great entertainment" I mean I expect him to put both of his feet squarely in his mouth and leave them there.

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