You Don't Want Mayor Jim? Fine, I'm Going Home. (Just Not Down Henderson Avenue.)

Categories: Get Off My Lawn

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Hey, generally speaking, the response to my offer of yesterday to run for mayor was quite disappointing. I got 20 comments, almost none of which were positive about the possibility of my being the next mayor. In fact most of the commenters talked about where the worst potholes are around town.

I feel like I offered to run for mayor, and everybody said, "Wow, this is some weather we've been having lately, isn't it?"

Yeah, I get the message. The old, "Let's change the subject on him, and maybe he won't notice." So that's it. I withdraw. I am no longer at all interested in being mayor. I don't even want to be mayor. I never did. I was just joking. But I will say this. I no longer believe in democracy.

On the other hand, one of the commenters did bring up my personal pet peeve about Dallas when he referred to "the Afghani [sic] donkey trail formerly known as Henderson Avenue." No kidding!

Five years ago, Henderson between Central Expressway and Ross Avenue in East Dallas was a rundown strip of bars and flea markets. But the street itself -- the pavement -- wasn't all that bad.

Then in a few short years, the street blossomed into what is now one of the city's coolest dining and entertainment strips, backed up by an enormous growth in new multifamily development in the blocks behind Henderson. And overnight the street itself turned into an Afghan donkey trail.

It's awful. And not just because there are huge potholes. The city has allowed contractors to go in there, gouge the hell out of the street, and then, instead of making them fix it back, they apparently allow them to patch the excavations they have made with material made of chicken offal and ground-up used clothing.

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Another busy night on Henderson.
It's the worst street in the world! You need to wear a mouth-guard to drive down it. I drive down it, I see stuff flying off people's cars all the time, like license plates, bolts and once out of a pickup truck I fear -- but hope I'm wrong -- a small child. Or maybe just part of one. I am not kidding. I talked to a merchant there a week ago who told me he thinks the street is in the worst shape it has ever been in ever.

You know, City Hall just hands some guy hundreds of thousands of dollars to start a furniture store downtown because they think if there was a furniture store there would be more furniture and so more people would like to live there.

Brilliant! Where is that guy! Anybody see him lately?

So Henderson revives on its own, strictly according to the private sector and market forces, and it's like the city dispatches saboteurs during the night to blow up the street. Is it because it wasn't their revival? I wonder.

So, good comment, Mr. or Ms. Afghan Donkey Trail, whichever. And I am not running for mayor any more. Don't even ask. Don't bother begging me. It's over. I can't tell you how much this hurts. But not as much as driving down Henderson.


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16 comments
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El Rey
El Rey

If Angela isn't on the ballot, Jim is gonna be my write-in. IJS.

St. Augustine
St. Augustine

The problem with the city and Henderson goes back farther than just all the new potholes. The city let hundreds of more apartments get built in the area, jamming that street with far more traffic than it can bear. Apparently, developers pay nothing much extra when they burden the local infrastructure like that. No streets added or widened. Not only is Henderson badly battered, those of us in the neighborhood who HAVE to use it (the neighborhood is now designed to feed into Henderson to get to Central or Ross) often find it impassable because of the daily traffic clob at the Central or Ross end of things.

Dallas Diner
Dallas Diner

If only Laura Miller had been the "streetlights and roads" mayor that she had promised to be!

Geoff
Geoff

You guys need to lean how to walk. Boo hoo cars. Weak sauce.

Why would you even want to drive down that street in the first place? Valet, peds, bars? it's a party street. Party. Don't drive down it. Why would you need to?

But yes, I'd still vote Jim for mayor, despite his insistence to drive down Party St.

Bill Holston
Bill Holston

Jim, when do those t-shirts come out? I sure do what a 'Get off My Lawn T-shirt. Might be a great fundraiser for NTFB. Maybe even a clothing line: Bathrobe and black socks with sandals. Course, I don't need to buy those.

Lakewooder
Lakewooder

JimS, tell you what; I got a little place out in west Texas - remote, 30 miles to a pay phone. Some of the most God foresaken country you ever laid eyes on [need rattlesnakes for an office prank, call me]. Most of the roads [caliche/dirt] on the property are pretty bad, but I got a few stretches of roads that are in better shape than Henderson. I wouldn't drive 50 mph for fear of hitting critters, but I could, which is more than I can say for Henderson. Maybe that's the solution: caliche/dirt.

Daniel
Daniel

Well, if the market prices minorities out of the neighborhood, at least a really shitty road will scare off a few suburbanites. Also Jim S with his rifle manning the valet stand. That would work. Call me a libtard, call me what you will, but if I want to wear a fancy shirt and cologne and pay eleven dollars for a cocktail, I'll go to McKinney Avenue. Keep Henderson Scabrous (TM)!

Vickery Place resident
Vickery Place resident

Yes, Henderson Ave is miserable. Even more annoying - every time I drive on Henderson I think about the fact that if the the DART light rail station at Knox-Henderson had been completed, I could just walk there instead of driving.

Buckeye
Buckeye

Is there a difference between a "multifamily development" and an apartment complex?

JimS
JimS

Granny: O.K., I'll run.

Bob
Bob

@JimSAre we talking about the same Henderson Ave? I used to traverse that route daily in the late 90s and early aughts. It has always been a washer board.

Granny
Granny

No, no. no. The worst street in the world is Westmoreland Avenue, at the intersection of Jefferson, here in Oak Cliff. The street is slowly sinking into the creek that runs underneath it. Riding across the depressions on the street is a poor man's ride from Six Flags. In addition, dogs and small children have been known to disappear forever into the ravines.

But I'm going to write in your name on the ballot, for Mayor. Anyone who gives a damn about the streets has my vote, whether he wants it or not.

Dallas Diner
Dallas Diner

Hey Jim, you had my vote with the really cool 12 gauge. Street paving in Dallas has always been a mystery to me, as well as why street paving and underground utility line work can't be better coordinated. For instance, mere months after Zang was repaved, it was torn up again for utility work and now boasts lovely patches.

Bill Holston
Bill Holston

I see right through this. you are going for the grumpy old man vote. Well, you had me at 'get off my lawn.'

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