Don't Get Fooled Again: Another Mayor Pothole From the Observer? Let's Do This, People.

Categories: Get Off My Lawn

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Jeff Siegel at the Advocate has nominated me for mayor, and, after long consideration and discussion with my family, I have accepted. I shall run, unlike our current mayor. If elected, I shall serve. If offered a salary, I shall accept.

I have decided to keep my platform simple. My slogan will be, "Just Fix My Damn Street, Will You?"

In this case, the term, "my street" is not generic or anything. I don't mean they should fix everybody's streets. I want them to fix my damn street.

I want to see if maybe that's how you can get your damn street fixed around here -- by getting elected mayor. Because nothing else works.

It's always something with City Hall. "Oh, no, Mr. Schutze, we'd like to fix your street, but we've decided to build a conventioneer hotel with the money, instead."

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Well, we could do worse. Perhaps.
My first day in office, I'm going to call the city manager and say, "Hi, this is the mayor. Fix my damn street."

You say that my platform is selfish. I say nay. I do this for thou.

Years ago, a lady who was a prisoner in a federal penitentiary for women told me a pitiful story about a civics class for inmates. The rule was that the inmates could not be admitted into the civics class until they lined up properly first in the courtyard.

But they never lined up properly in the courtyard, because they were always pulling one another's hair and calling each other bitches. So they never got into the civics class.
The lady telling me the story said, "Why do they have a civics class? Why don't they have a lining up class?"

She said if most of the inmates ever once learned how to stand in line, they'd be three-quarters of the way toward rehabilitation.

So that's how I feel about City Hall. If I could force them to just fix my own damned street, just once, they'd be three-quarters of the way toward becoming useful, as opposed to what they are now, which I am beginning to think is crazy.

It could happen for me. Look at Laura Miller. She was a columnist for the Observer. She got elected mayor. And now she's way younger than me and good-looking.



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20 comments
Diana Powe
Diana Powe

What about the world's biggest ball of string? Didn't Mayor Tom promise that to us?

wick
wick

Jim,I would not advise you to run for mayor. We will be unable to support your candidacy. You have opposed virtually every major advancement for the city - Bridge, Road, Hotel, Park etc.You will simply turn this city into another Cleveland.

Wick

Phelps
Phelps

Sorry, JS, the last time we did that, none of the potholes got fixed, but we got lots of nannyism like smoking bans and money wasted on fake-suspension bridges (which are TOTALLY different from money wasted on arenas).

Pass.

TimCov
TimCov

Don't do it Jon! If you do, you will end up being brainwashed and become a Mayor Just like Miller. Miller promised to fix the streets and they did something to her that made her just like every other Mayor of Dallas.

Brelmarks
Brelmarks

Please please please add the roads to Faluja, a/k/a Lemmon Avenue and Inwood Road, to your list?

JS
JS

Are you running under the banner of "The Rent is too damn high!" party?

Oak Cliff Townie
Oak Cliff Townie

Most street in Oak Cliff are in decent shape because we can't get to our JOBS for the MAN if we can't get out of our driveways.

Montemalone
Montemalone

Mr. S.,Rather than fill the potholes, perhaps you should consider enlarging them. Let's make Dallas into Venice.Solar powered water taxis can then ply the canals of Big D, eliminating pollution and calming everyones rush hour nerves with the melodic strains of gondoliers serenading.

Don Abbott
Don Abbott

Oh yeah, Mayor Miller...who'll ever forget. Was going to clean up this town until her husband told her that the big picture i.e. the Citizens' Council just wouldn't have it. Then, as a lame-duck, she screwed up the Wright Amendment Compromise. Most of the airheads that criticize her fixate on the Billion Dollar Saloon in Vandergriffville, that's nothing compared to bowing to American Airlines everytime we want to go somewhere

Lakewooder
Lakewooder

If you can fix the Afghani donkey trail formerly known as Henderson, you got my vote.

Just Sayin
Just Sayin

Maybe you can finally convince Boeing to move their headquarters to Dallas now that Illinois has the third-highest corporate income tax rate in the nation. How well is the decision to move to Chicago instead of Dallas for 'better parks' working out for them now?

Uncle Scrappy
Uncle Scrappy

Hey I would vote for you, but I dont live in Dallas. Oh wait, it is Dallas you say. Little things like that dont matter over there does it. So there, you got my vot.

3rd Wheel Marketing
3rd Wheel Marketing

Take heart that Leppert managed to get 1/4 mile of road absolutely flawless... the Ray's Gun Store Bridge. Bet that road will be smoother than a baby's bottom.

Wylie H.
Wylie H.

Finally, someone else who understands how completely terrible Laura Miller's performance on the Wright Amendment "reform" was--- I honestly don't think anyone else could have done a worse job. American Airlines got exactly what they wanted (and then some) with all the costs borne by the City of Dallas and its residents--- meanwhile, AA continues to pay a grand total of $0 in property taxes to Dallas County (excluding business property tax associated with its sky box at the AA Center), notwithstanding an ability under state law to allocate its tax payments between Tarrant and Dallas County at its discretion.

She cost the city an unbelievably large sum of money and, perhaps even worse, yoked us to a monopoly the likes of which exists nowhere else in the U.S. with almost no real ability to ever escape.

G_David
G_David

Maybe they can get a volume discount if they sneak Ross and McMillan in there as well.

Eric Graham
Eric Graham

or maybe clean up (gentrify) the Mogadishu Mile (Fitzhugh), you'd get my vote as well.

Amy Nonumous
Amy Nonumous

If I was making CEO money, would I rather live in Chicago or Dallas? Chicago, hands down.

I dislike Eric
I dislike Eric

Just stay in Lakewood pansy. Dont want you to be scared ......

G_David
G_David

Hey you'd be scared too if you had drive on Henderson every day. Scared that you were going break your front axle.

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