What About Arthur and Archie, the Forgotten Victims In the Dwaine Caraway Dispute?

Categories: Get Off My Lawn

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I guess everybody thinks the Dwaine and Barbara Caraway marital discord story is over, now that Dallas Mayor Pro Tem Dwaine Caraway has confessed he called the cops to his house because he was having a fight with his wife. Well, it's not over for this cowboy.

I need answers.

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"All I said was her behind looked about this big in those pants."
On January 2 city council member Caraway called Dallas Police Chief David Brown and asked him to send an elite team of investigators to his home to investigate a disturbance. Caraway later told reporters the disturbance involved two guests, "Arthur and Archie," who were arguing about football.

Days afterward, Caraway confessed to his council colleagues it was he who had been arguing with his wife, state Rep. Barbara Mallory Caraway, one of the city's most beautiful women.

And that's supposed to make it go away? Caraway asked the media for forbearance, explaining that he was trying to patch up matters at home. Representative Caraway dodged the press. Fine. Here's what I want to know.

What about Arthur and Archie?

Their names have been dragged through the mud. We're not even sure who they are. My colleague, Robert Wilonsky, speculated in a story meeting the other day that they could be the famous kiddie characters. Maybe they're social friends of the Caraways. But even if they're just regular guys, it's still not right.

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We always knew this guy was trouble.
For example there has been speculation -- and I emphasize it is only that, nothing more, just speculation -- that Ms. Mallory Caraway found out something about Arthur, Archie and the Mayor Pro Tem. What, I don't know. No idea. But it just goes to show. You can't just toss people's names out there.

Then we have the matter of the elite police investigative team. What is this elite team? What is it called? And to whose home may it be dispatched? To the home of an ordinary citizen like myself who might be spoken to disrespectfully by his spouse late of a night? I could use the help. But I bet they only go to the homes of mayors pro tem. What are they, the Dallas Police Arthur and Archie Squad?

And what is a mayor pro tem, anyway? Really, only Arthur and Archie can answer these questions. They must come forward. I think we should call for a joint press conference -- the mayor pro tem, the police chief, Arthur, Archie and the entire Dallas Police Arthur and Archie Squad. If nothing else, I would like to see their uniforms.

Meanwhile, as for Mrs. Caraway? I'd leave her strictly alone, if you know what's good for you.

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18 comments
bdkennedy
bdkennedy

No, I think Mrs. Caraway came home and caught Dwaine, Arthur and Archie getting their hash browns with their bacon and eggs.

The jokes aren't going to go away.

cp
cp

Here's my theory: They were in some sort of political discussion about who has more power, since she's a State Legislator and he's a mere Dallas city council member. Oh but he's THE one-and-only Mayor Pro Tem.... that's like the Vice President of the United States. She probably said something to effect that she has more friends in high places than he does, and to clean up his own damn mess, and then turned around to watch Desperate Housewives, ignoring him as he sat in the kitchen, fuming..... so he thought he'd a pull an, "Oh Yeah?? I'll show YOU!" And phoned up his pal David Brown. Not 911, but the chief of police in the whole entire city of Dallas. Then Barbara rolled her eyes and said, "I'm going over to the neighbor's house to get a drink. You're an idiot." And left. He hadn't realized that he and Davey aren't as close as he thinks they are so when the police investigators actually showed up two hours later, he had to think of something, quick! And all he could stammer out was "Archie! No I mean, Arthur! No I mean, Archie and Arther, yeah that's the ticket! They were both here earlier, see.... and one's a die-hard Cowboys fan and the other's not, see. And it got a little heated, yeah that's what happened, and I was, uh, worried about my wife, yeah, and so that's why I made the call to David, see......"

Robert
Robert

Shotgun Schutze standing around in his underwear doesn't appeal to me either. The smirk on his face and extended magazine tube on his fowling piece are meant to attract the low hanging fruit I suppose.

*adjusts monocle*

Mister_Mean
Mister_Mean

Arthur and Archie.......Perhaps Dwain Caraway is Jug Head?

I wonder if he could have appeared on one of those COPs shows where the police are called to break up a "domestic disturbance" with them beating on each other. Too bad the Sportatorium is not around they (the Caraways) could be the main attraction.

OakParkStudio
OakParkStudio

Maybe Arthur and Archie are pet names the Caraways have for each other.

That in and of itself is rather strange. But, Caraway also blamed this special investigative unit on getting the whole story wrong...too. So, for a city official to call the police liars is very troubling.

Further, it makes me wonder why one would have the Police Chief on speed dial and why the Chief felt it necessary to send an elite investigative police team to the scene...you know what I mean?

Lakewooder
Lakewooder

Was this really nothing more than a dispute about a football game, or did somebody get caught playing Twister? Weird story.

Leasevalue
Leasevalue

Jim: I am tired of the gun imagery

Bob
Bob

I wonder if we will ever get another murder/suicide scenario from Jim?

JimS
JimS

RealDirt: Well, we all grow physically wiser with time, of course, but you should have been around when she was Barbara Mallory and new to local politics. Heads turned, all the way around. Even a middle-aged photo is still pretty hard to argue with:http://www.dallassouthnews.org...Oh, and Oak Cliff Townie with the Amos n Andy joke: every little chance you get, try to not to sound like David Duke.

ChrisU
ChrisU

'Archie' might be an allegorical reference to the Calatrava arch. maybe.

GPDude
GPDude

What I want to know, why is Dwaine Caraway playing the race card. What do two white kids have to do with Dwaine's infidelity issues?

TheRealDirtyP1
TheRealDirtyP1

Mrs. Caraway wouldn't make my top 100 list of most beautiful women in Dallas, Jim. I'm just sayin'.

rubbercow
rubbercow

Jim, I don't think A&A will come forward. As I understand it they are in treatment for football related rage and as this treatment falls under HIPAA, their privacy is protected. I am just glad that they are finally getting the treatment they so richly deserve.

Dallas Diner
Dallas Diner

What I want to know, is when the police showed up did he make a report that A&A had caused a distrubance? Isn't the false report of a crime and lying to the police in the course of an investigation a crime?

JimS
JimS

It's not a gun. It's a surveyor's scope.

Dallas Diner
Dallas Diner

Is that the across the board 100 most beautiful women in Dallas or is it the 100 most beautiful women in Dallas that you would stand a ghost of a chance with?

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