Bike Friendly? Depends If Yer Talking "Tits Tuesday" and East Dallas vs. North Oak Cliff.

Categories: Schutze
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The scene outside the Lakewood (oof) Whole Foods every Tuesday evening
A new phrase enters my impoverished lexicon: "North Oak Cliff snobbery."

I had called an East Dallas biko leader to ask about something, and he used that phrase in reference to North Oak Cliff bikos.

My gosh. The Dallas biko world is now so entrenched and plentiful, it's dividing itself into geographic sub-groups. I wonder if one day there will be biko wars. As a reporter, I can always hope.

I called Michael Hubbard, one of the proprietors of Biking in Dallas, because he was on my hunting trail in some reporting I was doing about something my wife and I had noticed recently in our own part of town, Old East Dallas. Hubbard is the one who said it.

"You know, there's this sort of North Oak Cliff snobbery," he said. "They have this bias against East Dallas and North Dallas. But Richardson has one of the best bike trail systems in the region."

I think Mr. Hubbard sees Richardson as an extension of North Dallas, and, if so, I agree. But I should explain.

My wife and I were at the Lakewood (do we really have to call it that?) Whole Foods a couple times recently, and we had to walk through this giant mass of bikos in their Woody Woodpecker helmets and their leotards in the shaded seating area out in front of the store. They were gabbling in their colorful bikese patois and listening to this guy was sounded pretty good on the guitar.

But we were concerned. We saw it as a possible biko invasion of our own part of town, which up until recently has always been pretty solidly hybrido. We even started scouting out surrounding streets on the way home for signs that the bikos are moving in.

I called Lakewood (ugh) Whole Foods. The manager was very nice. Told me they loved having the bikos drop by. But he seemed rather ginger about the exact nature of the biko group with the guitarist who visit his store every Tuesday.

Well, sure. Turns out it's some kind of organized ride, and they call it "Tits Tuesday," because it was originally organized by a bunch of women. Now, according to Hubbard, the tittos have been joined by a bunch of men, so it's a pretty mixed group of bikos, both avec tits and sans, many of whom are from other parts of town.

Hubbard went on at some length with a very convincing argument that Old East Dallas is an even better environment for bikos than North Oak Cliff.

So, what am I to do with this information? Well, my usual.

Hey. Psst. North Oak Cliff bikos. Did you hear what those East Dallas bikos are saying about you behind your back? Psst. Hey. East Dallas bikos. The North Oak Cliff bikos say you're a bunch of pussyos.

There will always be a need for good honest journalism.
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