Why's Justin Wagoner Slow Roasting on Knox Just to Get an iPhone? Nothing Better to Do.
|Photos by Andrea Grimes|
|Tuna salad sandwich, intert00bz, shilling for Apple.|
The Dallas native says he hasn't had a vacation in 10 years, so he figured a week-long camping trip to the beautiful outdoor preserve of the K-H Ranch was the way to go. I mean, lame, right? Sure. But not as lame as arguing about the extent of Duder's lameness on a computer forum, an activity that rages on at this very moment.
On the other hand, if the heat doesn't get him, surely any one of Uptown's native drunk-driving, dick-wagging Affliction-wearers could get ahold of him after bar close, right? Well, think again, dickwaggers. Wagoner told me "they" are hiring a private security firm to hang out with him at night. Who's "they"? Who knows. Wagoner swears it's a volunteer gig.
"I just figured I didn't have anything better to do with my time," a flush-faced Wagoner told me this morning. Hopefully Apple's hustling on getting some extra battery life into Wagoner's iMortalCoil.