File This Under "30 Days of Who Gives an Eff," or: CW33 Finds Itself Challenged!

By Andrea Grimes Fri., May 14 2010 at 4:34 PM

Categories: Girl on Top

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From the department of Who Could Possibly Give The Tiniest, Most Diminutive, Maximally Petite and Demure of Shits: A Granbury couple will have sex every day for the next 30 days and report back to CW33 about how it went. This "news" story features photos of the couple for your remote-visualization pleasure. Really. Friends, I challenge you to think of something tackier.

Per the CW33 site, which features Lauren and Shawn Scott, who are going to make their genitals touch every day for the next 30 days and then tell you all about it:

"We got offered the chance to do the 30 days and thought why not how fun!!! We are excited about the adventure and making it fun all the way around! It will be interesting how it turns out as far as keeping it out of just a routine and making it exciting and fun! We also understand how the rut of everyday life takes a toll on your sex life and this way we are committing to focus on bringing it back in!! Should be an interesting 30 days," says Lauren.

They "got offered"? Like, CW33 employees were toolin' around Granbury, hoping for some sweet antique deals, saw the Scotts, and were like, "Hey, what if those people would bone each other every day and then tell us all about it? And then we could put it ON THE DAMNED NEWS?" You know what I bet takes a toll on sex lives? The rut that you'd get into feeling obligated to rut every day for 30 days.

But in the interest of fairness, I think it's only right I counter their May-sweeps sex pledge with an offer of my own.
Friends of Unfair Park, I am happy to inform you that this non-committed, single Girl On Top is not going to have sex for the next thirty days and keep you periodically updated about how that's going. Hope you like reading about my cats.

Day 1: When I woke up this morning, I didn't know I wasn't supposed to have sex today, but so far, so good.

Tune in next time to find out what happens!

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Scott lecturing on "menses", pure gold!
You guys are all fucking pathetic. This is all in fun. It is a fact that a majority of married couples with kids don't have sex everyday....or some people have work schedules that do not allow them to do it that consistently. Ever think about that? It may really be a fun, but yet challenging experience for them. What if she is on birth control and doesn't have a "shark week?" Give me a break and while you are at it - get a fucking life!!
You had me with "demure of shits" and the freaking cat pic!!
hahaha I'm in on this with you... In fact I bet I can go the rest of the year without sex. Can we have our own reality show?
Day 5 of no sex is a HUGE SUCCESS you guys! I took a bath with my eyes closed so I wouldn't be tempted.
Jesus christ. How lazy do you have to be to not even bother with sex?
Mop-n-Glo from Johnson & Johnson might be interested. ...or course Marathon candy bars (if they make a come back) might want to sponsor this activity as well.
the wife and I have done this (have sex every day) for well over a year and a half. Where is our sponsor???
I am all for it, Tim! As long as Cliff knows my room is for Bible reading and doin' it through a hole in the sheet.
Lacey B-- The Psychology building at UT Austin was MEZES, not Menses...
Cliff and Andrea: GET A ROOM!
You win, Cliff. Your internet looks different than mine, and I can't compete.
HOLD THE FUCKING PHONE.. You honestly call HeartlessDoll.com a feminist blog?? Maybe you ment a 'female' orientated blog that continues to play stereotypes about what it means to be a woman as understood by village voice media holdings. But feminist? I think thats a bit of a stretch.
Man, Cliff, you are giving this thing your best effort, and I appreciate it, but your attempts to paint me as a sex-shaming closet case are so far off base as to be pretty laughable. Have a look at HeartlessDoll.com, the feminist blog I spent the last two years editing, and I think you'll see that I'm about as sex-positive as it comes. Still doesn't mean I want to hear about some random people fucking every night on the news.
Boring.. Possibly. In general there is a lot of boring sex out there. Gross? Why is any sex gross. Maybe X Y Z thing isn't my cup of tea. But to use the term gross, perverted, TMI, etc.. Marginalizes all those who take part in any sex which you do not think is the 'norm'. But this comes same issue that comes up with the talk of abstinence. Certain adults feel that the 'norm' should be for kids not to have sex. So lets not talk about it other then to say.. it's gross, you'll definitely catch a disease, sex is only something adults should do.. and other then this 1 health class it is something NEVER to be talked about. Now should there be a certain amount of knowing who your audience is when talking about sex. Yes.. true tackiness can come into play. But we are adults. We participate in sex. And frankly i think it would be healthier if the 'omni-media' talked more about sex-issues then who is having sex with who issues(tiger woods etc.). Maybe there would be less boring sex, and maybe less sex you consider 'gross'.
What is the big deal about sex for 30 days? My wife and I have done sex multiple times per day for weeks on end. Are people really that pathetic when it comes to sex? One in the morning, a quickie in the afternoon and one more before sleep, does that make a person a superman? Maybe these people are dysfunctional in some way.
Cliff - I fail to see what part of anything I posted has anything to do with these people's ages. I don't want to hear about ANYONE of ANY AGE having sex for thirty days. It's boring and gross. Also, wherein did I advocate for abstinence education? You are seriously reaching. Feel free to hate, but at least hate on something I actually did or said.
Andrea - Thanks for keeping up the stereo type that anyone over 35 having sex is just 'gross' and 'TMI'. I guess your part of the abstinence in school crowd. If we don't talk about it.. it'll just correct itself. p.s. Hope this isn't TMI but whatever kinky thing your into.. So are your parents.. Just think about that the next time you are having sex.
Oh, and for the record guys: Going on Day 4 of no sex! Things got a little close on Saturday night (or so I hear, there were a number of cans of High Life involved) but I am pretty sure I'm in the clear.
Cliffnotes -- If a tacky, tired roundup of TMI about exurban sex lives is "fun," I am happy to be bored and boring.
Andrea, Well obviously you give a shit about it.. You posted it.. This being said; Why are you vilifying a news station covering something well.. WE ALL DO. The way your article reads, Andrea, is that there is either something wrong with sex, and/or something wrong to report on it.. But CW33 is tackling a large social issue in the USA.. that a lot of married couples stop having sex. They are addressing the issue, and doing so in a fun way. It'd be nice if your paper addressed taboo subjects(is sex really taboo anymore?) in a fun way. But instead we get far less relevant articles about 30k dollar millionaires; which aren't even fun.
Who calls it "menses" anymore? That was so PSY 101 at UT with Prof Buss (who has been teaching there for a century). There was a couple who did the dirty nasty for 365 days and then wrote a book about a year back. Now that is going the distance. Stop pussying out, Granbury! How un-newsworthy of you. Get a real sex goal--you won't be nearly unhappy and resentful and unsexified as a real married couple in only 30 days.
Yeah, I'm good for something like 24 out of every 4 weeks. I'll even push the margins a bit, but seriously, that's nasty. Several faiths have prohibitions on sex during menses, and while the divine inspiration may be questionable, it's hard to argue that one too strenuously. It's much harder to abstain from smoking, drinking and pork than having sex with a bloody gash, or perhaps that's just me. I'm not sure if my wife gets randy during that week but I think the thought of the clean up kills the mood for her.
cp says: GOT, there was a preacher awhile back, like last Fall, I believe, who issued some sort of a challenge to his congregation to have sex with their husbands/wives for 30 days. Can't remember why or whatever came of it (tee hee)... ******** cp, that was Rev. Young, I believe, and it was a 7-day "sexperiment" (really, that's what he called it).
@chance I had not thought about the Shark Week Hunchin' part. Cut to the confessional of the couple for that week and it's just both of them lookin' sad and shaking their heads. Is this show sponsored by Jesus? It's wholesome.
Easy. They lie about it, as we all did at times in our lives.
there will certainly be days within that month that the boyfriend will NOT bee as interested in having sex as the rest of the month... as do most guys with serious girlfriends during a certain time each month. hopefully CW33 will spare us these details!
Are we talking sex with another human only?
Every day for 30 days? Okay, lemme see... add 2, multiply X 30, carry the 1... ummm, that works out to somethin' like 60 - 70 minutes. Yeah, it's do-able.
bet you don't make it to Monday.
I am going to read "Dallas Dirt" for 30 straight days, then I will report back about it
Thanks for staying late on Friday to do one last story. Now go home and take care of that cute cat.
GOT, there was a preacher awhile back, like last Fall, I believe, who issued some sort of a challenge to his congregation to have sex with their husbands/wives for 30 days. Can't remember why or whatever came of it (tee hee)...