Project Runway Recap: A Local-Girl Showdown That's Pregnant With Hot Messes

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Richardson's Shirn Askari, who's so in; and, behind her, Malvin Vien, who's so totally auf his rocker
Last week, Project Runway welcomed as celebrity guest judge Lindsay Lohan, last seen losing $2 million in jewels. This week we got "film and television star" Rebecca Romijn, last seen losing two twins girls' worth of baby weight. Which gives you some idea of how long Season 6 has been sitting on the shelf: Romjin and Vern from Stand by Me had their kids in January, but Mystique was still way-preggers last night -- inspiring the pregnancy-chic challenge, which involved ginormous swollen-belly-shaped strap-ons around which the designers designed and to which the models were tethered. Awe. Some.

First the designers hit Mood, and Qristyl (seriously) nearly had a panic attack whilst annoying the shit out of the Mood cutting dude. Then we got all the talking heads of the designers' visions: Louise Black, hometown gal, was dying lace and riffing on a vintage negligee; Richardson's Shirin Askari was taking the time for intricate lattice smocking, and that Malvin is out of his fucking tree. He sewed up what looks like a BabyBjörn for babies before they're born. But, hey, man, Malvin was going for that fertility vibe -- because that's hawt -- and called his look "The Mother Hen." Wow. K.

At the same time, I'm not so surprised, since Malvin actually styled a rooster's comb on the top of his own head. Althea mentioned she can't wait to see what he turns out ... but then, based on her vapid interviews, I often wonder if she can't wait to see what comes out of her own mouth.

Mitchell apparently designed pregnancy clothes commercially, which is shocking considering his shorts were a million times too big to be attached to a belly band. We also learned that it's not worth it to buy a Brother sewing machine since needles have broken on this episode and during last week's All-Star Challenge. So much for that sponsorship!

Then it was Tim Gunn Time! Tim seemed impressed with Louise's dye job and then used the word "viscera" when discussing editing with her. I made a note to incorporate it into my spoken vocabulary, and vowed to use it only while holding my hand to my chin looking professorial. Shirin blew his mind with her awesome smocked waistband and told him she'd be making a jacket and he better believe that shit'll be lined with a coordinating print. (So she didn't say that exactly, but that's what I wanted to hear). At this point, I felt pretty confident the locals would make the top three.

Malvin inspired Tim to make strange faces and refer to his design as "cuckoo" after telling him that he wanted to make jodhpurs that created a sort of "chicken thigh" look. I actually almost spit out my sandwich when he said that. But Tim has much more restraint that I do, and he simply told him to avoid being too costume-y. That being said, I think Tim had counted his chickens and knew good and well Birdly McSwaddle was getting kicked off the Runway.

It was between Mal and Mitchell and, well, Mitchell didn't have faux feathers or a means to carry another human (or a week's worth of produce) in his "pregnant mess" of a design, so he stayed.

Top three? I was so right. Dallas' vintage darling, Louise, won props from Romijn for her "date night" dress, and Nina Garcia loved the adjustable layering underneath so that women in all stages of pregnancy could wear the knee-length number. Her workmanship was outstanding. Althea was up there with her ribbon bodice-jersey evening gown, but the cups runneth over -- and it would be more of a problem if pregnant breasts were involved, so she lost to the happy-go-lucky Shirin, as you'll see in the video below.

Shirin's design was flawless, really, and I so want that coat. The all-woman judging panel (Michael Kors having been replaced with designer Monique Lhuillier for the week) declared they'd wear it with a bun in the oven or without, and that's the kind of clothing a pregnant lady wants to wear, but finds all too rarely.

Congrats on a great week, ladies. You are sew smart.

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