Oh, Yeah, Give It To Me, Quick. That's It. Right There. You Know the Spot. Mmmmffffrrrhh ...

By Robert Wilonsky Thu., Apr. 2 2009 at 10:00 AM

Categories: Media, Not Navel-Gazing, Swear

After taking a long, hard look at this morning's Quick cover, Unfair Park would like to take this opportunity to welcome Dallas Morning News Managing Editor George Rodrigue to the sexually oriented weekly tabloid business. As a member of this elite journalism club, George, you and A.H. Belo upper management are now entitled to what's referred to in the trade as the "Upper Decherd," details of which will be provided in a follow-up e-mail sent directly to you that should be considered extremely confidential.

As per your request, we've also activated your movie subscription; expect the first title within the next three to six weeks, to be hand-delivered by a "Mr. J. Schutze" along with your order for the five-gallon tub of Boy Butter™. Also, if you would please inform one "Bob Mong" -- Is that right? Sounds made-up -- that, sadly, we're currently out of the Crave T-style divider and ask if he'd would settle instead for the Leather gates of hell. So, again, welcome, and remember to properly dispose of all towels and tissues on your way out (shhhh). Because Bobby Dee's spot-on: What we do everyday is special.

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Warhol Reject- You are right, the DO would never put some sweet-tart like that on their cover. They sat klassy by putting a large pink dildo protruding from cake on their front covers... http://www.dallasobserver.com/2004-04-08/news/sex-toy-story/
I have interviewed Jesse Jane but can't say I am all that familiar with her work. I remember her for her flagrant smelling cleavage. Thanks though for letting me know that most forms of Bush are out of fashion. Both my download and upload queue are very q.
JJ - The Big Guy would like to point out that unless you are into vintage porn (NTTAWWT), there is no "bush" of any kind in the videos that Jesse Jane would be in, though The Big Guy does not expect her videos are high on your Bitstream Download queue.
Can someone let Rod Dreher know that Boy Butter will not get the crabs out of his beard? At least we don't see any Bush in this photo.
DO's Hot Fudge Fridays: Boy Butter + Quick cover = MMMMMFFFFrrrHH .... DMN executive meetings: Boy Butter + Belo stock report = erectile dysfunction.
What a bunch of sliced bologna! The DO would NEVER put some sweet-tart like that on their cover! How shameful... (to my knowledge, none of DO's cover-tarts have done porn...) (...that's what the back of the book is for) :)
The latter. We tried. Dear sweet fancy Mong, how we tried to make it look better.
Is there something wrong with your scanner or is Quick just printed on really, really cheap paper?
Ewwww. I made the mistake of clicking on two of those links since I had no idea what you were talking about. I feel like I need to scrub the computer with Lysol now.
Too quick to pounce RW! This �upbeat� QUICK cover was said to have been presented by graphic designers in staff meetings as a �Ode To Spring� �puff pastry tart� offering �a horn of plenty bounty� to (our) 'winter weary readers�. So you see, this is good taste intent rather than tawdry lust ��with an eye toward soothing our collective souls rather than tempting us to rummage through an old Rolodex surfing for the number of that 'massage therapist' on Inwood near Harry Hines who relieved that chronic cramp in (our) thighs.
Apparently Quick is in A.H. Belo's new "sexually oriented weekly tabloid" division, which is separate from the "support the Dallas Citizens' Council" division that the newsroom operates under. George should have been more specific as to which was which.
it's true. robert won 4 free internets. well done.
Bravo, Robert! Brah-voooe! @GuiltyBystander: Laughed out loud - not LOL - but literally laughed out loud at that one.
Naw, I know where George lives. He wins.
Wilonsky/DO def. Rodrigue/DMN in straight sets, 6-0, 6-0, 6-0.
Instead of explaining that she likely got into porn as the result of a horrible childhood filled with sexual abuse from her father and/or uncles, Belo will say that her career in porn is something that she is very proud of and was totally encouraged by her family.
That was some funny shit. But you have to admit the back third of your fine publication is the economic floatation device keeping you guys perched on your moral high ground. But I have nooo room to talk since creating those fine ads for Leggs & Eggs, The Topless Two-Step and Cabar�Baron's Ball allowed me to start my business. Ever want to judge a dance contest, let me know!
Those are rug burns, Jamal.
If this don't offend the sensibilities of the Bayatis' in charge o dis town, den I dunno whut will. Stevie B, I don't think you'll be 'ministering' to this girl anytime soon. George, you might want to pull your personal fetish ad. The leather shop next to Minc moved south of Baylor a while back.
And please add you favorite 'Steve Blow' joke too!
If Belo converted 100% to porn they would still be out of business. <Insert obvious Steve Blow joke here>
and they didn't even bother to airbrush the scabs on her knees.
Hot Digity Dog, Dawg. I'll be right back, Im gotta look over the fence for the swinger next door, Wonder if she knows where I can get one of these S.O.W.Ts.