Friday, Dec. 26 2008 @ 1:00PM

Conroe native
Matt Lepsis, pictured at right, retired from pro football on New Year's Day 2008 after 11 seasons with the Denver Broncos. Noted
The Denver Post of
the 34-year-old's decision to hang it up: "He felt his play was slipping." Now
we know why: The offensive lineman was playing while high -- shades of
the late, great
Doc Ellis. (Though, notes
one nonbelieving Deadspinner, "Doc Ellis is not impressed.") At least Lepsis has something to talk about with his classmates at the
Dallas Theological Seminary, where he's currently studying The Good Playbook.
--Robert Wilonsky