What Might've Been, Longhorn Fans

Turns out, the University of Texas was toying with the thought of moving Saturday night's game against Arkansas up to Dallas on Saturday. Alas, athletics director DeLoss Dodds said it weren't meant to be "because of how many workers are needed to put on a game for 98,000 fans," reports the Austin American-Statesman this afternoon. Shame. Game's now set for September 27, which you already knew. So instead it's Houston-Air Force on the SMU campus Saturday. But, really, the UT-to-Dallas thing's only ruse to direct your attention to this quite dazed and almost certainly confused audio, which has been circulating for a week and made its way onto The Ticket this morning. --Robert Wilonsky