You Are Not the Love of Jessica Simpson's Life. Yes, You.

Expect to see and hear plenty from Jessica Simpson in coming days -- her country album, Do You Know, is in stores September 9. (Though, yesterday it kinda found its way to the Internets a little early.) Which, among other reasons, is why she's on the cover of the brand-new People, once more pronouncing her love for a certain starting Dallas Cowboys quarterback, Richard Bartel. Says Simpson of the Grapevine native in the cover story: "I just told him today, 'You're the love of my life.' I don't really ever say that to anybody." Though that's hardly the highlight: Notes the magazine, "in a true modern-day sign of devotion, [Simpson] changed her cell phone number and e-mail address to cut off any potential communication from her exes." I could have the whole Bartel thing wrong, incidentally. But it is Bizarro Thursday. --Robert Wilonsky


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