You Mean Pauly Shore Isn't Dead?

Categories: Arts
Sir Pauly Shore

In an effort to revitalize his career, Pauly Shore wrote, directed and starred in Pauly Shore Is Dead in 2003. In the mockumentary, Shore tries to, well, revitalize his career by faking his own death, but his next film Adopted, due out in 2009, may indeed get plenty of attention. He shot the film in Africa -- where Shore insists he still sells out stand-up gigs -- and he told Unfair Park that in the movie, “goes to Africa to adopt a black kid.” On the movie’s promo poster, Shore is holding two very upset-looking children, one under each arm.

“People are gonna know about this one for sure,” he says, in advance of his weekend-long run at the Addison Improv, where he'll screen a rough cut of the movie on Sunday afternoon. (Performances actually begin tonight at 8 p.m., so perhaps you will spot him both out and about.) “Especially with a black president coming up.” After the jump, a conversation with the comedian formerly known as The Weasel.

Heellloooo.

Hello.

This is to promote the dates in Dallas. Correct?

Yeah. I wrote a preview for the shows already, so this is just going to be a Q&A. All right?

Right, right, right, right.

OK, I’ll start with, well, what are the three questions you hate when reporters ask you?

Ohmigod. [He pauses.] That’s actually the best fucking question anyone’s ever asked me. There just … Most people are really [Again, he pauses.] I think, in life, most people are just so typical, you know what I mean? I don’t just mean reporters. There like, “Do you hate when people ask you to do The Weasel?” That’s like the typical stupid question, and the answer is yes and no. And the answer is that it just depends on what mood I’m in. What are some of the other ones? Oh, “Are you running the Comedy Store?” And, "When’s Pauly Shore is Dead 2 coming out?"

Do you get that one a lot?

Mmm-hmm. [Now, he’s obviously chewing food.]

Well, none of those questions are on the list, so that’s a good start. If you could take back one movie, which one would it be?

[He’s smacking loudly.] None of ’em.

None of ’em? Why?

‘Cause they’re all masterpieces.

Is there one movie for which you were offered a part and you turned it down and now you wish you didn’t?

Braveheart.

Braveheart?

Yeah, I was offered the role of a horse.

Why do you think [Son in Law co-star] Tiffani Thiessen dropped the Amber?

That’s just like when Puffy dropped the Diddy, ya know? People just gotta drop their shit to mix it up.

What are some of your favorite Spring Break MTV memories?

I don’t remember any of them -- anything. [Softly, he adds:] It’s a haze.

Nothing?

No, um, I mean, what was classic for me was, in 1989 [smack, smack, smack] me and Christian Slater were, like, the losers and Corey Feldman was like the cool guy. And me and Christian were in his hotel room, going, “Why’s this guy getting all the pussy? What the fuck? This guy’s wearing a Michael Jackson glove and makeup and Ray-Bans. What the fuck?” And then literally, two years later I had my own show, and I was getting all the pussy. [Smack, smack, smack.]

How often do you and [Bio-Dome co-star] Stephen Baldwin talk?

Just when he’s trying to sell me Bibles. And when he calls me up and says, “C’mon, man, we should do Bio-Dome 2 in a church.”

Interesting concept. You’d do it like a religious compound kinda thing?

Like the polygamist version.

OK, this will be like a word association game. I’m going to say the name of one of your past co-stars, and then I’d like you to say one word -- the first word -- that comes to mind about them.

OK. [Smack, smack.]

Kylie Minogue?

Hot-as-fuck-bubble-butt.

Um, I’ll hyphenate that to make it one word. Tia Carrere?

Um… distant. [Smack, smack, smack.] It’s funny. She kept her distance. I remember, you know, the scene where we make out, at the end of the movie? When I stuck my tongue in her mouth, she hit me! And I’m like, “What the fuck? That’s the scene. That’s how I do it in all my other movies.”

OK, I’ve got to ask. What are you crunching on? CornNuts?

It’s salad. We have crispy salad in L.A.

OK, Carla Gugino?

Adorable.

Tiffani Thiesen?

Chipmunk-cheeks. I always called her chipmunk-cheeks.

Abe Vigoda?

I was just nervous he was gonna die on the set.

Was that the same with Andy Dick?

No. Actually, Andy to me, in In the Army Now, was funnier than shit. To me, that was like the funniest thing he’s ever been in. Know what I mean? ‘Cause it was before he got crazy. Ya know? It was like his first movie. He was still innocent, and he was still trying.

Did he ever try to lick you like he did Farrah Fawcett, Carrie Fisher and other celebs?

No, back then, I licked him.

What would you say about those who’ve said you and Brendan Fraser were like the Ben Affleck and Matt Damon of the ‘90s?

[Much nasally laughter.] That’s very funny.

When was the last time you talked to him?

Never.

Have you seen any of The Mummy films?

No, none of them.

Do you remember what flavor of “the juice” you were weezing in Encino Man?

Well, there was only two flavors: Coke and cherry. So, cherry.

Other than Adopted, what projects do you have in the works?

If people go to my MySpace or Web site, you can see what’s coming out. We have Paid Vacation with Pauly Shore. It’s for the Country Music Channel. (Editor's note: It's actually, Country Music Television.) I take a redneck family on a vacation. It’s like a pilot; we’re waiting to see if they pick up more episodes. So far, it’s getting good feedback. It’s a cute show. It’s got a lot of heart. It’s very Son in Law-esque.

Which of your films is your favorite?

Well, I’d have to say Son in Law, because it was the one that got me out of the niche market. It was more of a movie-movie.

If you were to do a sequel to one of your movies what would it be?

Also, Son in Law. It’s funny you mention that because I had lunch just the other day with a Disney exec, and we were talking about it like: “Why couldn’t we do it? Indiana Jones and Rambo fucking did it 20 years later, why can’t we?” --Daniel Rodrigue


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