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The Midway

At the Shaws' Funeral, a Symphony of Themes

Tue Mar 18, 2008 at 04:58:58 PM
Dwaine Caraway told the media during the Shaws' funeral: "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas."

A week after Rufus Shaw shot his wife, Lynn Flint Shaw, then turned the gun on himself, approximately 500 people filled St. Elizabeth of Hungary Catholic Church in Oak Cliff this morning for their funeral mass. Those in attendance included prominent political figures: Mayor Tom Leppert wasn’t spotted, but his chief of staff, Chris Heinbaugh, attended, as did City Manager Mary Suhm and city council members Dwaine Caraway, Tennell Atkins and Sheffie Kadane.

Former Dallas Area Rapid Transit board member Joyce Foreman was in attendance, as was her replacement, Jerry Christian. Others at the service included State Sen. Royce West, House Rep. Barbara Mallory Caraway, Rev. Dr. Frederick Haynes III, radio personality Tom Joyner, former council members Al Lipscomb and Craig McDaniel and City Plan Commissioner Michael Davis. Those in attendance were greeted outside by local TV crews, set up as though it were a red-carpet event.

Rev. T. Michael Dugan led a service filled with songs, readings and prayer. Dugan joked that Lynn spent more time at the church than he did and reminded those seeking answers that there aren’t any. As rain poured onto the church, Barbara Caraway said, “God has given us rain to show us that we cannot shed enough tears to show our pain.”

Deputy Mayor Pro Tem Dwaine Caraway said Rufus’ father, who was in attendance, played football with his father at Lincoln High School in South Dallas. He told the Shaws’ son, Ian, that he had “a lot of uncles here today.”

Caraway described Lynn as a strong and committed leader who introduced orchestra into a community that only knew jazz. “Behind the leadership of Lynn and her commitment to our community, she brought that culture to the southern sector where we grew to have a great appreciation and love of arts,” Caraway said. He also emphasized that today was a day of closure, and he challenged the press to be respectful of the couple's families.

“We’re gonna leave this where it is,” he said. “If you switch shoes, you wouldn’t want it happening to you and your family.” In short, he said, "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas."

West, to whom Rufus placed a call shortly before killing his wife and himself last week, said his relationship with Rufus went back to the eighth grade, where he knew him as “Sugar Bell” before knowing his real name. He said Shaw was concerned about his community, proud of his children and was always setting the standard both academically and athletically. "When you think about Rufus Shaw, you know that he wasn’t afraid to speak his mind, and he was known to give you a piece of his mind also,” West said.

West asked for standing ovation for both Rufus and Lynn to salute them “for a job well done.” He told Ian that he will give him the flag flying over the state capitol today as a small token of respect.

Bill Lively, president of Dallas Center for the Performing Arts, called himself a student of Lynn's and recalled when he met her nearly seven years ago at the Meyerson Symphony Center at her request. He said there were between 10 and 15 school buses outside filled with children. As Lynn held his hand, a young boy said, “This is a palace.” Lively said Lynn told him a powerful message: “Only in sports and the arts do we transcend politics, geography and race, and we can do something as families.”

Lively praised Lynn’s efforts in the 2003 bond program, which raised $30 million for cultural institutions. He described her as an honorable woman who kept her promises. Lively said once the Dallas Center for the Performing Arts opens, sometime within the next two years, someone will write a book. “And when they do," he said, "there should be chapters talking about Lynn Flint Shaw and what she did to make this center possible for all people -- all of our families.”

Carol West, Royce’s wife, described how she, Lynn and Barbara Mallory Caraway scheduled regular lunches that evolved into dinners and then a book club called “The Circle of Friends.” She said the book club, which expanded to more than the trio, has been together for six years, and they spent more time drinking wine than talking about books. “We should be known as 'The Wine Club,'” she joked.

Mallory Caraway said one thing she loved about Lynn was that she swore. She said every Lent, Lynn said she’d give up swearing. “We know now that God has a direct hand with Lynn holding her tongue,” she said.

Ian, the couple’s only son with each other, was still in shock -- a week later, he wore the look of grief and, as much as anything else, disbelief. --Sam Merten

14 Comments:

religion of bacon says:

In short, he said, "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas."

What on earth is that supposed to mean?

It does seem to be a popular theme this week...

Blackjack Ace says:

Double-down, bacon.

Yeah, that'll probably be the celestial equivalent of a 15-yard, flagrant foul, but I couldn't resist. After all, Caraway couldn't resist bringing up a Vegas marketing line at a funeral to (presumably) warn against trying to deconstruct the crimes associated with this couple's tragic end.

Chris says:

West asked for standing ovation for both Rufus and Lynn to salute them “for a job well done.”

ummm.... yeah, Rufus is 2 for 2 in murder attempts. good job.

Rawlins Gilliland says:

Regarding this tragedy and especially Rufus Shaw: Read the brief essay by Dallas Police Chief David Kunkle that ran in POINTS / Dallas News Sunday 16th. That the good people are not perfect and those who fail in terrible ways have stories to tell and broken hearts to hide. My prayers to all concerned.

gbc says:

thanks mr gilliland, you are definitely a wise and respectful man, unlike a few others commenting before you...wondering why so much hatoration...jealousy...hmmm..makes me wonder...but it doesn't now matter....words are cheap....and they can't hurt them now...only the Creator knows...so so so so glad!...but in our case...we still have to answer too...ONE DAY...just keep living!

Religion of pork, it was fifty years ago this month that my mother's dad killed my step grandma and himself. It wasn't a compact either. She was terrified of him and rightfully so.

My heart goes out to Ian and the other kids. I know from personal experience that such a tragedy can have ramifications for at least two generations.

Those not aware of the pain I believe would assume the shame would be the toughest thing to face. They'd be wrong, very very wrong. What sticks and is hardest to come to grips with is the self doubt that comes with knowing that chances are most likely whatever caused them to do what they did is in you.

I have a saying about talent. "When the good Lawd gives us a talent He removes a corresponding amount of common sense."

The inspiration for this was my grandpa. He was an artist.

pjw says:

my heart and thoughts go to the family and friends left behind. Ian please find the peace you need to continue on. and thank you Rawlins Gilliland, gbc & harvey lacey Thank you all for saying what i have been unable to say in words.

as someone who fights daily very dark suicide thoughts to know that there are peeps out in this blog land that realize this is not a post to be flip on.

pjw.

rob: not here, on other posts but not here

as someone who fights daily very dark suicide thoughts to know that there are peeps out in this blog land that realize this is not a post to be flip on. pjw

Been there. Done that. Have the t-shirt and the hat.

My youngest daughter provided my cure.

Prior to that when things looked a little dark I'd look over at the columns at the overpasses and consider a quick turn of the wheel. After all, everyone knew I drove way too fast far too often. I'm a weldor by trade and a simple spark at the wrong time and the insurance companys would have to kick in, no one's perfect.

The one day when she worked at a pharmacy I came in with two prescriptions. The first was for whatever I'd went to the doctor in the first place for. The second was for nitroglycerin capsuls. The doctor had prescribed those for me because I'd complained of occasional chest pains and he couldn't find anything to explain them during the examination.

He'd told me to put one of the capsuls under my tongue the next chest pain. If the pain stopped then to haul butt to the nearest emergency room. If instead I got a splitting headache it was my heart causing the pain.

As my daughter was entering the information into the computer I saw her in profile. There were tears running down her cheek.

Right then I got it. My life isn't my own.

I'm no different from you pjw. And I wish Rufus had the good fortune I had with the moment of realization of this truth.

LakerFan says:

Great article on such a tragic situation. It appears from the outside looking in that these great people did alot to uplift the African-American community. I have been following the details and comments of every story about the Shaws very closely, and I enjoy the mystery behind this political nightmare in Dallas. Intelligent people in Dallas should be raising more questions than they are on the other political players in this situation. Why didn't Mayor Leppert show up for the funeral? Where is his office and others with DART involved in the Shaws fall from grace? Who else was with the Shaws the night of the murder-suicide? Why would good intelligent Black people go to such means to reach their ends? Would someone of influence in Big D start asking pinpoint questions of who benefits the most from these deaths? May God bless their souls, but I do not believe that they made these choices on their own accord. Someone please start connecting the dots and give the children a peace of mind that Rufus and Lynn made great role models to more than just them. It is unfortunate that people are presummed to have given up on life because they could not handle the pressure. Intelligent, hard-working, Black people.!? Something does not add up to me!! Do not let this die down without absolute proof to the children.

To God Be The Glory!!

chris says:

Ya know, this is similar to a "good ol' boy" funeral, where everyone gets a pat on the back for making it longer than the poor bastard in the coffin and getting away with all sorts of misdeeds. What disturbed me the most is comments like "What happens in vegas.." coming from somebody like Dwaine "pull up yo pants" Caraway, whos plays the modern lynchpin of the black dallas community but is just as downlow and dirty as the rest of the poverty pimp mafia. Im sorry, but I cant accept that kind of flippant attitude when it comes to dirty politics being literally placed 6 feet under in a pine box. I certainly hope that another Rufus Shaw, save the spousal corruption angle, as well as schultz and the rest of the observer staff keeps digging on this story and take down people like Dwaine, Willis Johnson and the rest of the poverty pimp mafia in this city.

balls says:

Sad story and tragic end. I admit to not following this tragic story as closely as I would like and my heart goes out to the real victim here, their son Ian. What a burden to carry for the rest of his life. I hope that among the many lessons and wisdom that he learned from his parents, that working to please others and gain the approval of others is not what life is all about.
I appreciate all the sincere comments to this post, beit angry and callous or kind and quiet. In my mind, there is a bigger story that has yet to be uncovered in this tragedy and I hope that it is brought into the open. Politics in this country and our city of Dallas is a joke and truly makes me feel ill. The leadership of our community has GOT to put aside agendas that will keep getting them elected/re-elected and do the right thing for this city. I do not personally know anyone on the leadership council, but based on the comments and quotes from the funeral service, I can make some rather accurate assumptions about their character and what they stand for and value. True friends of the Shaw's would be outraged and be demanding the truth...i only hope they have gotten it already and are just trying to keep it within the family.

Lesson learned: seeking the approval of men never fulfills the soul.

Michael Davis says:

Hey "chris,"

If you feel so strongly about it, there's still time to move into District Four and run for council next year. We welcome the challenge. Until then, happy posting.

Vivian Eastwood says:

Rufus Shaw murdered his wife. Someone at his funeral says "what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas", his wife was caught in a scandel that this paper reported on repeatedly. However, like the Katie Awards and the Thin Blue Line, they would now like to place some blame on Craig Watkins who less than 10 days ago was considered a hero.
I wonder if his friends had the "stay in vegas" philosphy while this couple were alive, and that would fall in the line of "we didn't see it coming". Something is missing in this story and I think it might be honest journalism. If Phil Spector would have killed himself, would he be a hero today? Perhaps this shit happens because everyone is so caught up trying to live their lives based an a TV commercial slogan.

chris says:

Michael, I may take you up on that, I like a challenge ;) I prolly could do better than the other crooks and cheats that have been representing district 4 for the past god knows how many years.


Another note: My heart does go out to their son, Ian, as this is the type of thing noone should ever have to go through. My hope is that he becomes a strong man like his father and challenges his corrupted "uncles" on the public stage.

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