"Forget About Eli Manning When You and Jessica Are Tanning."
Kentucky's Ryan Parker is the ... um ... um ... Ryan Adams of sport-song parodies. Perhaps you're already familiar with his hits: 2006's "Why The Cowboys Stink," 2007's A-Rod ballad "Been Caught Stealing" and so, so many more. Well, he's got another Cowboys jam this week: "Don't Worry Be Happy Tony," which contains this bit o' advice for the Cowboys QB: "Even though it didn't go your way/It could be worse, you could be Nick Lachey." Enjoy. --Robert Wilonsky
Update: A Friend of Unfair Park sends along this story from today's New York Daily News, which asks the question, "Did Jessica Simpson's dad blitz Romo?" Takeaway: "When you date Jessica, you date Joe too." Hope they got a big bed.