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Sorry, Rest of Dallas, Your Name is Not on the Guest List

Thu Nov 08, 2007 at 11:50:27 PM
Mazel tov, Harry Hunsicker, you're one of the 6,400 most powerful people in Dallas!

Finishing up some work tonight, and I just checked The Dallas Morning News' site for any late-breaking. Came across tomorrow's no-doubt front-page Dallas Morning News piece about UT Southwestern Medical Center at Dallas' "detailed list of wealthy, high-profile and influential people" it keeps in its back pocket to guarantee that special something-something extra should they roll up gut-shot or some such. Yeah, fine -- unethical, unschmethical. Far as I'm concerned, all the paper had to was publish the list: a 106-page PDF file that's probably the most engaging item in The News in years.

Where to begin? It's the ultimate It List, a scroll of the most powerful, famous, wealthy and well-heeled folks in town -- the ones, maybe, you wanna save should there be a plague that threatens to decimate all but 6,400 people within the city limits. The paper shoulda just printed the whole thing in bold -- who put this together, Alan Peppard? Some are as high-falutin', big-shit as they get; others, slightly less so; others, kinda rinky-dink, y'ask me. Regardless of just how much they have or just how much they've done, it's still more than I've got or done, clearly: My folks' best friends made the cut. A good friend of mine's wife is on the list; poor Michael ain't, though. So's my childhood crush, Jesus Christ. But Maw and Paw Wilonsky and they Lil' Jethro ain't sniffin' the top 6,400 eligible for free parking or even just an escort to the front door. Could be worse: You think Angus Wynne will want to know how he missed the cut, while bro Shannon got on?

So congratulations, Tom Leppert and Wick Allison and Darwin Deason and Bobs Decherd and Folsom and John Ware and Laura "Wolens" Miller. And, hey, you too, mystery novelist Harry Hunsicker. Woodrow Wilson's on there too, so maybe it's like a Spy magazine list -- nudge-nudge, wink-wink. All I can do is console myself with the knowledge that it's an old list: Tex Schramm is perched on that parchment, and he died in 2003. So maybe there's always room for one more. --Robert Wilonsky

18 Comments:

Depending on how this list was gathered, it might be a violation of HIPAA. When I worked for a hospital management company, one of our examples of a HIPAA violation was the revealing of the name of a celebrity patient.

Chris U. says:

Jerry Haynes didn't make the cut? sad

Funny you mention Mr. Peppermint -- he was one of the folks I specifically looked for. Also: no Erykah Badu, Lisa Loeb or Angie Harmon.

Nathan says:

Important names from 'D' Magazine and the Morning News are on the list, yet nobody from the Observer. I guess that's a good thing. If Schutze's name was on the list it would probably be so they could slip some strychnine into his IV during a hospital stay.

Jack Jett says:

This is some fucked up shit.

Is the number published somewhere?

Is Wick Allison/Huckabee on the list?

jack jett

Anonymous says:

the list is here:
http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/img/11-07/1109UTSouthwestern.pdf

the phone number is:
214-645-7111

yes, it is fucked up shit

Anonymous says:

I worked there and I know for a fact they they get better treatment everyone else goes to Parkland, come on guys look at the article that the Prez is stepping down and see how much money the golddigger got from all those folks on the list please if you check deeper I bet we can have another DISD/City of Dallas issue here. So you guys not on the list start request for more records and lets us know. On another note I hope the doctor who was demoted will get a big settlement well deserved those folks in management are a joke!!!

Jack Jett says:

Robert

I just saw the list and the bar seems pretty low;
---
Jerry Naylor, former lead singer of Buddy Holly & The Crickets
---
I would think that with your new TV gig you should be moving further up the medical food chain.

Well, thanks, Jack. But as Groucho Marx said, I don't want to belong to any club that would accept me as a member.

Anonymous says:

This list has to be pretty old, Larry Hagman and Jack Kilby are on the list. I also notice the entire Hunt clan is on the list, no surprise there. Senator Hutchison also rates special treatment. The mayor of UP didn't make the list, nor did some past presidents of the Dallas Country Club. I want to see the most current list, since the VIP line is still available.

HIPAA shouldn't be an issue since the hospital is not stating a relationship exists between the VIP and the hospital, just that those people would get special treatment if they wanted it.

This should be a further reminder that "it is not what you know, it is who you know" that makes all the difference. We all just need to make it a point to know at least one powerful person in case you ever need a favor. Let the rest eat the cake of a sub-standard life. (I'm sorry, I was channeling the ghost of Ken Lay for a moment!)

El Rey says:

This is awesome, my wife is on the list! I think it has to do with her being so damn hot!

(Shameless attempt to get some lovin'!)

UPBF says:

Hope your Moms doesn't find out about your childhood crush on Jesus Christ - she'd string you up on your Christmas tree

Well, Jesus Christ was the name she danced under.

LaceyB says:

Jeez, Bob! If you're that close to the 6,400, who you effin??
Hate to say it, but practice makes perfect--so well, practice. Maybe you'll make the updated list.

Lacey, I ain't nowhere near the 6,400 -- so, nobody, apparently.

Drewbanger says:

Apparently not all the rich and famous are on there. No Mark Cuban! Oh, the humanity!

john k. says:

I was and am currently a client (patient) of UT Southewestern Medical Center. Several years ago I had an extended stay at Zale-Lipshey Hospital with doctors from Aston as my medical providers. I had Medicare plus an insurance policy called a Medicare Supliment. To be a patient at Aston you must have plenty of dough or good insurance or both. I was in a bed at Zale for 3 months. My treatment was as good as a suite at the Anatole with room service and selection of meals. They treat everyone great. I cannot imagine that just because you are a digntary that they could have had better treatment than I. All patients at Aston get parking vouchers. Valet parking I don't know as I don't drive.

They should have a compition of the rich and fabulous for a spot on the list. Maybe a wrestling match or dance off.

We could call it the 'Cipro 6400'.

That pisses me off that Shannon and party pal Dick Potter got on, and Angus didn't.

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