Recalling the Recall

Now that my 4-year-old's been exposed to more lead than a pencil factory, I would like to thank RC2 Corp. for the $2.49 check we received on Friday -- to cover the cost of sending back the tainted Thomas the Tank Engine toys we hustled out of the house faster than it took Karen Silkwood to shower. "We deeply appreciate your continued loyalty and the confidence you have placed in the Thomas wooden toys over the years," says the missive attached to the check. And, no, thank you.

The dough arrived a few weeks after RC2 sent a gratis, sorry-'bout-that Diesel train. But the company does promise to send replacement toys "in the next few weeks," along with "the free item we promised." At this point, I think he'd prefer a Han Solo action figure, to be honest. But not Dora and Diego. --Robert Wilonsky