Bodily Waste Not, Bodily Want Not

If you have a few minutes to kill this morning, here's our pick for Federal Lawsuit Filing of the Week. On Tuesday in U.S. District Court in Texarkana, William T. Mason filed a complaint against the City of Dallas, claiming that on September 22, 2005, he was extremely hassled by security guards at the J. Erik Jonsson Library, where, Mason claims, he'd gone "to research a book on the style of writing." Apparently, he found what he was looking for, as his complaint does indeed resemble some kind of short story. And it begins, as the best short stories do, in the bathroom:

At about 11:20 a.m. I, affiant Mason, went to the Seventh Floor and proceeded to the restroom where, upon entering, I observed a tall African-American man washing his hands. I walked past him and went into the enclosed toilet stall to relieve my bodily waste. The tall African-American man exited the Seventh Floor restroom while I was in the restroom stall continuing to relieve my bodily waste... In the middle of washing my hands, a Security Guard working for the Library opened the door and peeked in, like a voyeur...

As I exited the restroom the Security Guard was standing about three (3) feet away from the outer restroom door leading to the common area. I stopped and said to the Security Guard, "Someone put something very sticky on the restroom floor." The Security Guard said nothing about my statement and asked me, "Why were you beating on the restroom walls?"