Crime? What Crime?

Categories: Crime

Hell of a morning to wake and find this in the paper. Only thing I took out of The Dallas Morning News' pieces on how Dallas isn't really No. 1 in crime is because we report too many of 'em, because, see, "the data can't account for the willingness of residents to report crime." Silly us.

Guess my dad shouldn't have called in the attempted break-in at the church he owns next to his auto parts store Sunday; aw, never you mind that hole in the side of the building, Mr. Herschel. And I guess the folks at the Denny's on LBJ Freeway and Skillman last night should have ignored the dude wandering the nearby access road waving a stolen sawed-off shotgun.

Yes, that's just what happened last night. The missus and the kiddo were on the way to a water park in Garland for a birthday party when they pulled in for a quick bite, only to find themselves huddled in the kitchen when someone else in the restaurant saw the man pull the gun from his trunk and fire at least one shot God knows where and at God knows what. If only someone had been there to remind the customer who called the cops, You, sir, put down that cell phone and stop calling 911. Don't you know you're going to jack up our crime stats and scare away businesses?

I feel safer already. --Robert Wilonsky


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