Seriously, Stop It!

A friend of mine, local artist Zachary Broadhurst, is, like, second only to Davy Rothbart when it comes to finding fascinating things on the ground, in restaurant booths, in books, on signs, wherever. So I wasn't too surprised to receive a text message containing a photo of something he'd discovered on the street...until I looked closely at what was in the photo. I had to know where, exactly, this thing was found. I needed to see it. Broadhurst wasn't positive, but gave me a rough estimate, and after trolling what I like to call the semi-historical district for around an hour, I found it.

Yup, at the corner of Swiss Avenue at Peak Street is the above-pictured stop sign stickered with a request -- nay, a command -- I've never considered making.

As Broadhurst pointed out, the real charm here isn't just that someone made the sticker. It's that someone had the foresight to make a sticker that only said "PUTTING YOUR DICK IN MY FOOD," so that the stop sign itself would complete the phrase.

In an effort to make sure this wasn't some fluke, some teen putting a purchased bumper sticker up on a street sign, I Googled the phrase "putting your dick in my food" with quotation marks, without 'em, with the word "sticker" added and several other ways. Several attempts produced no hits; the closest I ever got was a link to Dick Van Patten's Natural Balance Pet Foods. Now, I do hear Dick really puts himself into his work... --Merritt Martin