In Terrell We (Don't, No Way, Uh-Unh) Trust
Jerry Jones is more appealing than Terrell Owens.
Hey, that's not me talking. It's the famed DBI or, for those of you not familiar with Dallas-based The Marketing Arm over on Bryan Street, the Davie Brown Index. The list, updated weekly but not for public consumption, is akin to a Match.com for advertisers and celebrities, allowing them to make commercial connections. Forbes recently relied upon the DBI in naming Tom Hanks as America's most trusted celebrity.
What the DBI tells us this week is something we, Bill Parcells and the folks in Philly already know: T.O. ain't appealing. The DBI ranks celebs in eight categories, including appeal and trustworthiness. There are 1,500 famous folk in the database, including 353 athletes or sports-related celebs. Of those 353, guess who finished dead last 353 in appeal? Bzzzzzz. Wrong. Try Dennis Rodman. And coming in at No. 347--now try it--bingo, T.O. One spot behind Jerry Jones, two behind Barry Bonds and only two ahead of Kobe Bryant. Quite select company, you must admit. At the top were: Hank Aaron at No. 1 (weird, but OK), Nolan Ryan at No. 2 (Yessir!) and, behind him, Carly Patterson (Really? Our Carly?).
In the category of trust, Hanks is No. 1 with a score of 77.6, whatever that means. Among Dallasites, Angie Harmon, LeAnn Rimes and Troy Aikman scored high. (Weird that Luke Wilson scored only 0.4 higher than bro Owen, doncha think?) At the bottom of that list, not surprisingly, reside Jones (44.1) and T.O. (41.9), meaning America trusts Terrell Owens about half as much as it does the star of Bachelor Party.
If the DBI ranked celebs by grumpiness, of course, Parcells would be the undisputed champ. "I have no comment on Terrell," the Cowboys coach grumbled yesterday. When asked why, he harrumphed, "Because I don't want to talk about him anymore...I'm tired of it." Let me say it again, for the record. Again. T.O.'s ego makes him a bad teammate. But Parcells' disposition makes him a bad human. If only the DBI took into account celebs that hated interaction, gravity, oxygen... --Richie Whitt