If You Got the Money, I Got the Time

Categories: News
The state owes Roger Staubach $4.20--which is my favorite number, if you know what I mean. Be cooler if you did.

On Sunday, the Texas Comptroller's office will once more publish its annual list of folks whose missing money the state has in its possession. Carole Keeton Strayhorn's peeps sent over an advance copy of the supplement that'll appear in The Dallas Morning News, among some 30 papers across the state running the list, and let me say it's a compelling read--if a little inaccurate, since I found three long-missing checks on the state's Web site but not a single mention of my name in the print version, which is all I look for in any newspaper I read. So you might want to consult the Interweb and ditch the print version; wait, that's what you're doing at this very moment, come to think of it.

By the way, this is where we once more get to play our favorite game How Much Does the State Owe Famous People? Look, the site is the ultimate time-waster; one minute you're looking for your extra dough, the next you're seeing how much your office mates and Willie Nelson and Terrence Malick have coming to them. Turns out, not a lot; spent hours yesterday doing detective work for the likes of Don Henley, Mark Cuban, Ross Perot, Tom Hicks, Troy Aikman and other usual suspects, and not a penny turned up under the sofa cushions. But it does say on the site that one "Eryka Badu" has $3,300 coming to her from the Bank of America; what's a 5-year-old, four-figure check among Grammy-winners? Edie Arlisa Brickell--yes, that Edie Arlisa Brickell--has substantially less waiting for her: $82.13. Unless that whole Paul Simon thing quits workin' out, here's guessing that check goes unclaimed for a little while.

Someone might wanna tell Mr. Peppermint his Butthole Surfer son Gibby has about $540 waiting for him. Dunno who will collect for Mickey Mantle and Stanley Marcus, both of whom have more than $1,000 waiting for them in the afterlife. Two more guys with money coming: Mr. Laura Miller, Steve Wolens, who has $150.80 in the state's account, and Roger Staubach, who I am sure is filing out the appropriate paperwork to collect his $4.20. Wait, $4.20? Didn't know Captain Comeback was so hip. --Robert Wilonsky


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