Clueless in the City

You know why we don't go to Dallas trendy nightclubs? Because we're always afraid we'll run into people who look like this.

Last night, the Nasher Sculpture Center held its monthly Art of Urban Living salon series, during which Dallas Morning News types discuss, well, urban living. The Nasher also debuted the N Bar, its latest attempt to lure folks downtown. Every third Thursday, their cafe will magically transform itself into a scenester haven by adding a DJ and hosting a lot of people dressed in black.

The salon, moderated by the News' pop culture critic Tom Maurstad, hosted Jerry Bokamper (Mr. Dallas) and Matthew Giese, managing partner of Suite; their topic was urban nightlife in Dallas. Only, it quickly became apparent their insights didn't run terribly deep or anywhere outside the Knox-Uptown-Ghostbar gamut. Despite catering to upscale thirtysomething-and-up singles, there was nary a mention of Deep Ellum, Oak Lawn, Lower Greenville, Lakewood or even Addison. You'd think with a name like Mr. Dallas, Bokamper oughta know, ya know, more about all of Dallas.

Bokamper and Giese so kept to their hot-spot Holy Trinity--Bice, Trece and, of course, Suite--that anyone new to the city, which many in the audience claimed to be, might think Dallas' club scene consists only of high gloss, high-cost drinks with high-tone interiors reminiscent of West Elm (as so eloquently put by our music editor, Jonanna Widner). And we were supposed to be impressed by Giese's explanation that the no-cover Suite charges $300 and up for bottle service so as not to "downgrade their image." Though, making a mild stab at street cred, Mr. Dallas--who looks and dresses disturbingly like my high school U.S. history teacher--did mention Lee Harvey's, perhaps for the slumming $30,000-millionaire.

In the meantime, I'll be at the Double Wide rinsing off the experience. And to answer the general consensus of questions that boiled down to, "Where do I go and when?"check out our listings. We got everybody covered.

And, by the way, according to Exhale MindBodySpa employee Gricelda Fuller, Hotel Palomar's grand opening last night was a madhouse, with an estimated 1,000-plus invitees that included Andrew Firestone and Spud Webb . With an open bar, a Stanley Korshak fashion show, DJ Paul Andrews spinning and Bandaloop flinging themselves off the building, it sounded like the event of the night. I just wish I hadn't missed Morganne, a singer billed as (slowly tilting head) "haute couture jazz." --Rich Lopez