We're In The Soul Patrol

Hey, Taylor, want an Observer sandwich? It's tasty.

DALLAS--Last night, Merritt Martin and Andrea Grimes had a threesome with Taylor Hicks. In their minds. When the American Idol winner walked into Club Dada around midnight after finishing a performance at Nokia Theatre, Grimes frantically telephoned Martin, knowing that a possible mental menage a trois was imminent.

"See, we'd been boozin' it up at Dada since about six or so," said Grimes, who, along with Martin, had been enjoying the musical stylings of Texas music legend David Garza, the club's artist in residence for this month. "Merritt's a big lightweight and left around 11:30, while I stayed around for Eaton Lake Tonics and three whiskeys," added Grimes.


Upon sighting the silver-haired soulster, Grimes says she nearly "lost her shit" and ran into the club's courtyard to telephone Martin, who had just arrived at her home and made herself a nice bowl of Vanilla Cr�me Frosted Mini-Wheats.


"I dumped out half my cereal for Taylor Hicks," said Merritt, picking at a breakfast biscuit from Chik-Fil-A the next morning. "But she said he was so pretty, and I had to get my ass back in the car."


Martin re-applied her smoky clothes and arrived at Dada minutes later to find Grimes gleeful and a little drunk.


"He's in the second-to-last booth," squealed Grimes, fresh from shoving her business card in Hicks' face and telling him she'd like to take him out for lunch the next day. After what appeared to be a brush-off, Martin approached Hicks holding out her hands and saying, "I'm not a creepy fan chick. It's cool."


After a refreshingly foul-mouthed discussion about his musical career and upcoming album, Martin, too, shoved her business card in his face and said they should make it a lunch-hour threesome. "You know, Southern hospitality," Martin says she told Hicks.


Hicks has yet to call; however, he assured Martin and Grimes he "keep[s] all [his] cards."


Martin and Grimes have asked Unfair Park to relay the following message to readers: "Please do not telephone us today, as we don't want to tie up the phone lines. Just in case Tay-Tay calls."


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