Monkey Hate Weight Loss

You're fat.

A real porker.

Chunky McBlubber. Fatski Von Tubbenhausen.

How do I know? Men's Fitness says Dallas is the 4th fattest city in the U.S., up from 6th last year. So chances are you could stand to lose a few, just like Terry Daniels did this year.

Terry before massive loss of poundage.

And by "a few," in Terry's case, I mean 150 pounds. The Dallas woman has been named a finalist in Weight Watchers' "Inspiring Stories of the Year" contest. Her dad died, her husband died, and the woman still managed to drop poundage instead of burying her grief in Phish Food.

Terry, just the way Fergie likes her.

Now, she's big-time. Terry got all skinny, and now she gets to meet the Duchess of York at a luncheon in Houston next week. Guess Fergie's got a "no fatties" rule. I hope Prince William's a little more forgiving, or that blind date our mutual friend set up next month is gonna be awkward. --Andrea Grimes