MILF Police Come To Town

Categories: Girl on Top

You guys know I try to bring you the very best in participatory journalism each week, right? You know that if I thought there was any way I could enter the search for the Hottest Mom In America TV show, I'd do it. Unfortunately, my talents are limited. I can fake a booty-shake, but I just can't fake a baby. I can, however, shake a baby, which is what might happen if somebody left me alone with one for very long.

But I'm nice, and I don't judge you just because you've chosen to produce spawn. That's why I'm telling you today about the auditions, which are tomorrow. That way, you can plan ahead: Drop the ugly kid off at the sitter and bring the cute one with you to Reunion Arena at 8 a.m. Be sure to check for sticky Cheerios stuck to the seat of your designer yoga pants.

Dallas is the first stop on the tour--unfair, or course, since Texas ladies are known for their physical charm. According to the press release, "Our casting directors are looking for the Hottest Moms in Dallas, with style, confidence, and sexuality beyond the carpool." Sexuality, um, and carpool? Find me the woman who looks hot from the bucket seat of a blue 1989 Ford conversion van, and I'll show you the definition of real beauty.

You can even call 1-800-GET-BUZZ and sign up for a reminder call tomorrow, since moms can't always be hot and organized at the same time. --Andrea Grimes

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