The Real Deal Needs to Quit. Really.

Categories: Sports
Heidi Klum takes a bite out of The Real Deal and realizes he tastes a little past the expiration date.

I can't remember the exact moment I became an Evander Holyfield fan. Maybe it was when a young Snoop Dogg claimed that he was "realer than real deal Holyfield." Maybe it was when Holyfield fought, and won, with a hole in his heart. Maybe it was when he knocked out a still-scary Mike Tyson.

I still root for Holyfield. Except now, I root for him to quit. The man is 43 years old and has lost his last three bouts. What has always been Holyfield's greatest strength—an irrational faith in God and himself—is also his greatest weakness. He believes he can win a record fifth heavyweight title. Others wonder if he'll die in the ring. If you still believe in the champ, you can watch him train at the Horseshoe Casino in Bossier City, Louisiana, this Thursday and Friday for his upcoming August 18 fight at the American Airlines Center against journeyman Jeremy Bates.

Personally, I just wish Evander would get it over with and schedule Holyfield-Tyson III. I could always take some more of this:

And this:

Serious. --Jesse Hyde


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