Mean Guys Finish First

Categories: Sports
He may be the starting AL pitcher tonight, but this is how we'll always remember Kenny Rogers.
Most of us--fine, I--watch baseball about three times a year: Opening Day (Oh, the excitement!), the World Series (Oh, I wonder where the Texas Rangers are) and the All-Star Game (Oh say can you see the summer boredom?). If you left baseball last mid-July, you're in for a shocker tonight. A year ago Kenny Rogers, fresh off his unprovoked attack of KDFW-Channel 4 cameraman Larry Rodriguez, was booed mercilessly during his appearance as a Ranger at the All-Star Game in Detroit. Fast-forward to tonight in Pittsburgh: Rogers will not only get cheers as a Detroit Tiger, he'll be the starting pitcher for the American League. See, sweet things do happen to shitty people after all!

Rogers did sorta apologize to Rodriguez, but never to baseball. And never to Rangers fans. Seeing Rogers hailed as an American hero will only be part of the nausea-inducing spectacle. While your Rangers have exactly zero starters (only reserves Michael Young and Gary Matthews Jr.), you might recognize Alfonso Soriano, Alex Rodriguez, Ivan Rodriguez and--oh, yeah--Mr. Rogers. --Richie Whitt

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