You Better You Bet: Why Miami Wins This Time

There's one reason I go to Miami...OK, two, because I really should mention the in-laws: the Cuban sandwiches from Versailles in Little Havana. Turns out, those beloved sandwiches--made of pork and ham and cheese and a sweet-soft bread I've been unable to find anywhere outside of Miami--are part of the wager between Dallas Mayor Laura Miller and Miami Mayor Manny Diaz. I am not gonna lie: If Miami wins, Mayor Manny's getting screwed. Here's why:

Should the Dallas Mavericks win the NBA Finals, Mayor Laura gets a custom made Guayabera dress from Guayaberas Etc., those Cuban sandwiches, some stone crabs from (duh) Joe's Stone Crabs, Cuban coffee (Cafe Pilon and Cafe Bustelo), a Key lime pie and an assortment of tropical soft drinks. If the Miami Heat win, Mayor Manny gets...a cowboy hat, a pair of boots, some barbecue from Sonny Bryan's, Tex-Mex food from a restaurant to be named later, sweet tea, Dr Pepper and pecan pie. Hey, I love Sonny Bryan's as much as the next native, but Lord knows there's better in town, much less available for shipping on the Interweb. But Mayor Laura gets stone crabs and Cubans? From Joe's (which is expensive as hell) and Versailles (the latter of which don't ship anything anywhere)? Might as well send her Crockett and Tubbs too. Is this where I use the old, "Laura, remember when you used to be my friend and mentor" card, or do I have to get on a plane to see the in-laws? Oh, wait, the mother-in-law's coming tomorrow. Oh, wait, the mother-in-law's coming tomorrow. --Robert Wilonsky



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