Dallas Sports Blog

​Whether you're at the end of your rope or merely the end of your week, welcome to Whitt's End:

*Screw me. I've been inside Cowboys Stadium a dozen times now and never noticed there wasn't an American flag hanging somewhere. JumboJerry will do that for you. When during the National Anthem there's a flag "waving" on the world's largest video screen you tend to fixate on it. But I was surprised that the place doesn't have a permanent flag inside, almost as much as I was surprised that owner Jerry Jones tried to shrug it off by claimining he has one outside that flies 24/7. Is this "America's Team should have an American flag!" outrage or "Damn we've become a sensitive, cranky people" overkill?

*Speaking of stadium accessories, now that I think about no flag I have another question: Where are the five Super Bowl banners? Tune in to 105.3 The Fan this morning at 10. I'm going to ask Jerry what the what?!

*Let me get this straight, irrationally stubborn fake basketball fans: Dirk Nowitzki scores 29 points in a quarter, hits a game-winning buzzer-beater and pours in 41 points against the Spurs, all in a three-week span. He was the NBA's Player of the Week and he'll likely be the Player of the Month. Early on he's the NBA's MVP. Yet what you grudgingly stick to is the tired, old, non-sensical criticism that he's boring, one-dimensional, slow, white and a choker? Okay. But I promise. You're going to miss him when he's gone, so why not appreciate him while he's here? Starting ... now!

*Somebody -  one guy - actually voted for the Rangers' Ron Washington for AL Manager of the Year. T.R. Sullivan, I'm looking at you.

*Saw the artists' rendering for the new Bush Library over at SMU. I'm not going to make some corny joke about coloring books. But I did find it fitting that the place will be protected by a 3-foot retaining wall. (Vandal #1 to Vandal #2: "Geez, I'd really like to spray paint some graffiti up in there, but how oh how will we ever navigate this waist-high security wall? Damn you Dubya, out-smarted us again!") Just kidding. But surely before the first shovel hits the ground the former Prez is gonna unfurl his "Mission Accomplished!" banner. Right?

*The skinny on new Cowboys' right tackle Doug Free, courtesy of an NFL scout I talked to this week: "Technically he's almost flawless ... the quickest, best feet of any Dallas lineman ... Will be fine in the passing game, but lacks the brute strength to dominate in the running game."

*Sorry, but we overrate Megan Fox.

*The Stars beat the Red Wings this week. I have now exhausted both my interest and knowledge of hockey in 2009. But 2010 looms. Be patient. This just in: Hockey fights are cool.

*Sometimes it's the simple things in life. I never rarely turn down a good game of Tic-Tac-Toe.

*I don't get Twilight. Pretty sure I'm not supposed to.

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​Whether you're at the end of your rope or merely the end of your week, welcome to Whitt's End:

*OK, so let it be known that my buddy and Ticket founding father Mike Rhyner has been/is calling for a Cowboys' appearance in this year's Super Bowl. This, after 14-plus years as president of the anti-Cowboys' faction. "I saw this coming," Rhyner maintains. "It's not a bit."

*Erick Dampier had 14 points and 20 rebounds against Houston. Erica Dampier had one point and four rebounds the next night in San Antonio. Figures.

*UT Southwestern Medical Center gets $42 million for research projects involving brain tumors, autism and cardiovascular aspects. In the era of $100 million contracts and $1 billion stadiums, we throw around $42 million like pocket change. But just once I'd like to read a story about a major breakthrough, a cure, something tangible. Ya know?

*So the police founds drugs and thugs and shit at Jim's Car Wash? You don't say?! If you've ever driven by that place down in Fair Park on MLK, you're not the least surprised.

*Ever have one of those days and/or weeks? This has been one. Don't ask.

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​Whether you're at the end of your rope or merely the end of your week, welcome to Whitt's End:

*Haven't received a return call all week from Greg Williams, which is weird if not troubling. Something's up. Maybe he's merely at his vacation condo in Colorado and temporarily out of pocket. Or maybe there's something to the whispers about Hammer I'm hearing from mutual friends that include a possible recent arrest and/or two broken ankles. Developing ...

*Since Arbitron has turned stingy with the publishing of its detailed radio ratings, we'll have to generalize October's stats. 1. The Ticket. 2. ESPN Radio. 3. The Fan. There, I've already said too much.

*Not saying we've let our guard down, but there are no longer metal detectors at the entrances to American Airlines Center. Check that, we have let our guard down.

*In the spirit of the Cowboys' season-opening alternating of cornerbacks Mike Jenkins and Orlando Scandrick, Mavs owner Mark Cuban will give behind-the-mic starts to P.A. candidates Michael Taylor and Sean Heath the next 10 games before making a final decision.

*There are 8th-graders in our midst who have never witnessed a Cowboys' playoff victory. Wow. Cowboys owner Jerry Jones has overseen the most successful (three Super Bowls in four years) and most unsuccessful (13 years without a playoff win) stretches in franchise history. Question: Would you accept a Super Bowl win this season, if attached afterward was another 13 years without a post-season victory? I think you would. And I know there are 15 NFL teams out there that have never won a championship that would make that deal in a nano-second. Right, Philadelphia?

*The Texas Rangers hired Clint Hurdle to be their hitting coach. Yeah, that Clint Hurdle.

*I believe in JesusGodSanta, but sometimes just to trick it up I say "Praise Allah" when I make a long birdie putt or bank in a 3-pointer or beat my buddy at paper-rock-scissors. But after yesterday's events at Fort Hood I'm gonna stop. I'm not saying all Muslims are terrorists or all terrorists are Muslims, just saying the fact that Major Nidal Malik Hasan wrote "Allah" on his door sometime before killing 12 and injuring 31 prompts me to recalibrate some angles. Make sense?

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​Whether you're at the end of your rope or merely the end of your week, welcome to Whitt's End:

*I take absolutely no very little joy in D Magazine's Inside Corner sports blog going belly up any second now. Evan Grant is a solid baseball Xs and Os writer and I'll follow his work back to Dallas' Only Daily. But the combo of Grant's departure, the arrival of ESPN Dallas and an expiring Dr Pepper sponsorship proved fatal. Says former Inside Corner contributor and Ticket Noon-3 host Bob Sturm: "It is dead. D Mag didn't get to where they are by subsidizing blogs that don't pay for themselves."

*In a related story, The Sportatorium hit an all-time high for pageviews last week. I know in here I joke around and you guys poke me back, but I sincerely appreciate your continued patronage. To show my appreciation, a bonus ...

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*I thought I was going crazy. I'm not. Or am I? Remember back in the good ol' days when Dallas Cowboys' quarterback Troy Aikman would bark out an audible at the line of scrimmage and every single time it seemed to start with "Blue Eighty!" Well, don't look listen now, but the last couple of Fox broadcasts I coulda swore I heard Tony Romo yelling "One Eighty!" Close. "It's White Eighty," says tight end Jason Witten. "It has to do with the snap count, but I guess it's just a color and a number he likes." I also hear Romo command "Omaha!" every now and then. I'm also pretty sure I'm more confused than when I started this paragraph.

*When the Phillies' Cliff Lee spun his web around the Yankees in Game 1 of the World Series, I was reminded how long the baseball season is. Seems like years ago your Texas Rangers opened 2009 by pounding a certain pitcher named - I'll be damned - Cliff Lee.

*Speaking of the Rangers, I don't know who would make the best hitting coach between Gerald Perry, Thad Bosley, Carney Lansford, Clint Hurdle and Rusty Greer, but I'm certain I'd like the final decision to be manager Ron Washington's. Next year the Rangers will contend and the manager should be equipped/surrounded by as many of his guys as possible.

*One of these three men will be the next owner of the Rangers: Dennis Gilbert. Jim Crane. Chuck Greenberg. As long as it's not Tom Hicks, honestly, do we care?

*Andre Agassi's revelation that he used crystal meth wasn't as shocking as his not-so-subtle endorsement of the drug: "Euphoria."

*Cowboys 34, Seahawks 20. Sound about right?

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​Whether you're at the end of your rope or merely the end of your week, welcome to Whitt's End:

*Last night I got a foot massage. By a guy. And thoroughly enjoyed it. Now, now. Settle down. It's not what you think. Friend of mine tells me of a place where at 11 p.m. you can get an hour-long Japanese foot rub/back massage while drinking alcohol and watching TV. All for $29.99. I call that place Xanadu, but it's actually in Richardson. Foot Joy, indeed. If you can withstand the pain/pleasure of male knuckles rammed into your arches, you will not be disappointed.

​*And no, smart ass, there was no happy ending. A satisfying conclusion, yes, but no happy ending.

*Don't look now but it's basketball season. Seems just last week Mark Cuban and Kenyon Martin were verbal jousting and the Mavs were being bullied out of the playoffs by the physically superior Nuggets. Dallas opens at home Tuesday night against the Washington Wizards. I think they'll be better with the arrival of Shawn Marion and the departure of Cristal Taylor. But who knows? In the NBA - more than any other sport - it's about matchups in the playoffs. How good you are is only slightly more important than who you are playing come April. I love the NBA, but more and more it feels like we sit through an 82-game pre-season before the fun begins in the spring.

*The Cowboys this week unveilved AT&T logos on their practice jerseys. Isn't it just a matter of time before we see corporate sponsorship more prominent on NFL uniforms? Already happens in England's soccer premiereship, where, if you didn't know any better, you'd think Manchester United was actually AIG. Sign of the Apocalypse: The Wal-Mart Cowboys?

*I hear Michael Irvin finally signed his contract over at 103.3 FM ESPN, so the underrated Ben & Skin remain orbiting without a radio hub. But I coulda swore I heard Ticket-ex and The Fan-ex Kevin Scott reading a SportsCenter update on ESPN this morning on the way to work. If so, he might be the first player to hit for the Metroplex radio cycle.

*I said a couple weeks ago that NASA was a waste of time, money and, well, space. A White House panel - saying we've picked the wrong rocket to go to the wrong destination - agrees. Not sure if that makes me feel better or worse about my theory.

*Listening to the quirky speech and watching the bizarre strategy of Phillies' manager Charlie Manuel, he reminds me of a guy named Ron Washington. Except for the success, I mean.

*Turns out the U.S. tortured prisoners at Guantanamo Bay with music. Don McLean's "American Pie." The "Meow Mix" jingle. Queen's "We Are The Champions." Good call, because immediately upon the opening line of "American Pie" - a long, long time ago - I find myself calling ex-girlfriends to confess previously untold sins.

*Warning to drivers: If you're heading southbound on 75 in McKinney, avoid the right lane as you go under the 121 overpass construction. Buddy of mine was navigating that mess yesterday when this happened. Pothole = Bent rim.

​*So what do you do if you're Miley Cyrus and you've just finished a concert at American Airlines Center? 1. Look in the mirror and giggle that you've got the world sooo fooled. 2. Go to dinner at La Cubanita on McKinney Ave. No word or whether it was actually a party in the U.S.A.

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​Whether you're at the end of your rope or merely the end of your week, welcome to Whitt's End:

*According to my very unscientific research conducted on this very blog over the last two years, the most sensitive, whiny, irrational folks on Earth are: 1. Ticket P1s; 2. Right-wing Republicans; 3. Oklahoma fans. So if you wore your OU T-shirt while turning off 1310 AM just long enough to vote for George Dubya, my apologies sympathies.

*Biggest disappointment through five Cowboys games: Martellus Bennett. Pegged for a breakout season by geniuses like myself, he's got four catches for 40 yards. Some at Valley Ranch are whispering that maybe the tight end is more focused on his alter ego rather than his playbook. Crossing my fingers that ain't true.

*Chill down, Rangers fans. The team is saying goodbye to Rudy Jaramillo, not Rudy Ruettiger. My bet to be Texas' next hitting coach: Don Baylor.

*Still haven't seen Zombieland, but I wanna. Reviews, anyone?

*All hail, Highland Park. When's the last time consecutive high school graduating classes produced an NFL starting quarterback and the starting pitcher of Game 1 in the LCS? Matthew Stafford, Clayton Kershaw and the HP Classes of '05/'06, take a bow.

*I think it's neat how every spring at the exact same moment all those (Bradford pear?) trees decide to bloom simultaneously. Likewise, after all the rain this week have you seen the amazing phenomenon of thousands of ant piles seemingly sprouting from the ground? As a devout weirdo, I actually spent time wondering/estimating/calculating whether there are more ants in McKinney or humans on the planet. Pretty quick into the process Family Guy came on and I lost interest.

*In other Rangers news, fans brave enough to purchase playoff tickets for 2009 were told this week via email that their refunds would be delayed until November because the money is tied up with Major League Baseball. Or - wink, wink - they are being offered the opportunity to use the money toward discounted Dallas Stars' tickets. That's probably not slimy business, but why does it feel like it?

*I realize I'm in the minority, but I generally dislike the majority.

*Dear Rush Limbaugh, When you sell your soul to the devil in exchange for wild popularity and unfathomable wealth you are bound to sacrifice some burned bridges. One of yours smoldering in ashes is the path to being a credible part of any major sports ownership group. In other words, suck it.

*The penalty and subsequent $5,000 fine on Alan Ball's shoulder-to-helmet hit last Sunday infuriates me. Not saying the refs made a bad call, I'm saying the NFL created a horrible rule. Players wear shoulder pads and helmets for a reason. Since blows to the head and knees are now illegal, we're at a point now where football's "strike zone" is smaller than baseball's.

*Give me 22 Jay Ratliff's and I'll take my chances.

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​Whether you're at the end of your rope or merely the end of your week, welcome to Whitt's End:

*Ho hum, The Ticket's dynasty rolls on as one of the most dominant entities in sports. In September's Arbitron PPM ratings - I hear, by the way, that only 1,400 meters are used to garner these numbers - The Ticket remains the No. 1 station among Men 25-54 with a 7.7. Way down the list is ESPN Radio at 3.0 (13th) and further down 105.3 The Fan at 2.1 (22nd). I'll let Dallas' Only Daily's Barry Horn break down the hour-by-hour details.

*Wither Rudy Jaramillo? I know he's coaxed gaudy stats and MVPs out in Arlington, but I think the time has come for the Texas Rangers' hitting coach to go. The Rangers are moving forward with a philosophy of pitching and defense, which doesn't jive with Jaramillo's boom-or-bust mantra reliant upon hacking at the first pitch. The Rangers were second in the majors in homers but third in strikeouts and 26th in walks. Rudy sets off fireworks, but he doesn't manufacture runs. Combine that with how he monkeyed with Josh Hamilton's swing, couldn't fix Chris Davis and makes almost as much as manager Ron Washington, I'd be surprised if he's back in 2010.

*Depending on which you value, Dallas, you're either 9th, 46th or 48th. (Hint: I'd cherish sports if I were you.)

*My attention to detail is going to drive me insane. I find myself listening to commercials during radio breaks and analyzing their faults. Weird, I admit. Under the microscope today: "Here's another Nattyism, from Natural Light." After the guy introduces the ad, we hear a beep from what sounds like an old-school answering machine. But after a robot-speaking woman begins her bit, she stops and the beep repeats. What the frick? Is she leaving two separate messages? If so, why? And immediately after she uses "today's Nattyism" in a sentence, we get yet another beep, followed by what sounds like a pillowcase full of firewood falling off a desk onto a hardwood floor. Seriously, what is that thuuuuud? Did she fall over dead after delivering such an exhaustive performance? Then, to top it off, comes Natural Light's oh-so-clever tag line: "Now You're Talkin". In other words, three thumbs down.

*I know I'm in the minority on this one, but I like Brent Musburger.

*Cowboys play Sunday in Kansas City, where the Chiefs are coached by familiar face Todd Haley. Remember back when the former receivers coach's wife, Chrissy, was served a rat in her McDonald's salad in Southlake? I certainly do.

*This never gets old. To me, at least.

*Jerry Jones could sell mittens to Ted Williams' frozen head. Well, couldn't he?

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​Whether you're at the end of your rope or merely the end of your week, welcome to Whitt's End:

*Former Carter High School star Michael Crabtree may not be a bad guy, but he's following some horrible advice. Friend of a friend of Crabtree tells me that he and the 49ers remain $10 million apart in contract negotiations and that the former Red Raiders receiver is indeed prepared to sit out the season. He's living in Florida, by the way, working out daily with a personal trainer and catching passes from former NFL quarterback Trent Dilfer.

*A Dallas judge this week ruled that a gay couple married in another state can legally get divorced in Texas and that the state's ban on same-sex marriage violates the constitution. Wow. Gov. Rick Perry maintains that "Texas voters and lawmakers have repeatedly affirmed the view that marriage is defined as between one man and one woman." My question: Why have we repeatedly affirmed that? I am one man who has indeed married one woman, but it wouldn't bother me in the least to live next door to one man who married one man. You?

*For those longing for the return of Ben & Skin, I hear they're sorta, kinda close to a gig on 103.3 FM ESPN. Michael Irvin still hasn't signed his latest contract offer, and B&S apparently are in the on-deck circle.

*Scientist confirm this week the finding of a 4-foot tall, 4.4-million year-old skeleton from Ethiopia. "Ardi", now believed to be our oldest living ancestor, is the biggest find since "Lucy" in the '70s. Weird, I missed both the names when I read The Bible.

*The Stars open a new season Saturday night in Nashville. Since its arrival in Dallas in 1993, has hockey ever been more irrelevant?

*Michael Vick's back on the field, again getting free shit from Nike. Brett Favre is in a Vikings' uniform. My question: Does anything shock us anymore? 9/11, the Internet and nightly shows like "Most Shocking Videos" have totally desensitized us to, well, being shocked. Example: The tsunami in Thailand in 2004 gripped us. The one this week in Samoa barely caused a ripple of media. I guess when we've endured Terrell Owens as a Cowboy we develop pretty thick skin against adversity.

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​Whether you're at the end of your rope or merely the end of your week, welcome to Whitt's End:

*Just because I'm off to Vega$, I won't deprive you guys of the only two things you really appreciate on this blog ...

​Whether you're at the end of your rope of merely the end of your week, welcome to Whitt's End:

*Heard The Ticket was making a patented "major announcement" today. First reaction: It's moving Dallas Stars night games to a better signal, likely Cumulus brethren 93.3 FM or even 570 AM. But knowing those boys, it might just be that they landed Daryl Reaugh to headline Ticketstock '10. Or, maybe I'm the permanent Plus-1 after all?

*No, wait. I got it: You know the guy that Arlington ISD was going to bus all those students to see before they had to backtrack and cancel the trip after not letting those same students watch that other guy? Yeah, that's it! Translation: George Dubya Bush on with Norm Hitzges Monday. You heard it here first.

*I'm not saying Rangers' hitting coach Rudy Jaramillo should be fired. But after this season he should shoulder some blame and be examined/scrutinized with a high-powered microscope. I know he lost Michael Young and never really had Josh Hamilton, but the game's supposed best hitting instructor couldn't fix Chris Davis and the Rangers will snap 13 consecutive seasons of scoring 800+ runs. Bottom line: For the first time in their 37-year history the Rangers will miss the playoffs because of their bats.

*As for Giants-Cowboys (or any other home game in Arlington, for that matter), you've all told me to "get over it" so I'm not going to rant about the JumboJerry do-over rule. But if this scenario unfolds, I don't wanna hear a peep: Punting from New York's 45 and nursing a 6-point lead with less than a minute remaining, Cowboys' punter Mat McBriar sailed a beautiful, high spiral punt that - doink - hit the scoreboard. On the do-over, McBriar's punt was blocked and returned for a Giants' touchdown in one of the most bizarre, heart-breaking losses in the history of the franchise. Not. A. Peep.

*Socialist or not, you gotta high-five Barack Obama for calling Kanye West a "jackass." Right? Even though - truth be told - I still think it was all grand, scripted theater. Look what the stunt begat: Kanye's a courageous dude not afraid to stick up for his peeps. Beyonce has a video I've just got to see. Taylor Swift is an award-winning hottie I've just got to see more. And Brett Favre Jay Leno apparently has come out of retirement for a new talk show. Who knew? Obama's reaction was genuine. The rest of it? Faker than Serena Williams' sincerity.

*Betcha $1 Kanye's next album is entitled - you guessed it - JackAss. And all this time I thought Johnny Knoxville was Jackass.

*Drove over the Trinity River last week as it crested near flood stage. The stench reminded me what a bunch of dolts our city leaders are. Planning a park on top of a toilet? Really?

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​Whether you're at the end of your rope or merely the end of your week, welcome to Whitt's End:

*As for August's PPM radio ratings - surprise! - 1310 AM The Ticket continues to dominate. Among men 25-54, The Ticket remains No. 1 in the market leading every hour from 6 a.m. to 7 p.m. In the distant battle for second place 105.3 The Fan continues to gain on 103.3 FM ESPN, leading in about half the day. To avoid those "Hey, quit tooting your own horn, asshole!" accusations, I'll let Dallas' Only Daily Barry Horn break down the numbers.

*For the record, I got the Cowboys going 9-7 and the Rangers 91-71. Don't think either, however, is going to make the playoffs.

*Speaking of radio, I've been known to misspeak a time or two. (My best eff-up of the week was saying the Rangers were about to "righten" their ship. Righten?) But I'm a regular Chick Hearn compared to former Dallas Cowboy-turned-ESPN analyst Marcellus Wiley. Again, I know I sound like Billy Bob Thornton, but how does a guy - former player or not - get a network TV gig by constantly saying "axe"? That, my friends, is the question I want to axe you right now.

*The Sporting News is kidding, right? I know Tony Romo is 0-2 in the playoffs, but you're telling me he's not among the NFL's Top 100 players? Not among the Top 12 quarterbacks? Not better than Michael Vick? Not a better player than Patriots' offensive lineman Logan Mankins? That's just retarded.

*If you can't afford a copy of this week's Dallas Observer, you can read my Jerry Jones cover story and my Neftali Feliz column online for free.

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​Whether you're at the end of your rope or merely the end of your week, welcome to Whitt's End:

*93.3 FM - the station formerly known as The Zone, The Bone, Quality Rock and who knows what all else - has for the last day or so been "stunting." That is, playing nonsense in advance of flipping formats. My station - 105.3 - played college fight songs ahead of changing from Live to The Fan back in December. Today at Noon we'll find out what's in store for 93.3. Maybe a simple switch to something like Christian Rock. Or - it's a Cumulus station - so it could be that The Ticket is somehow involved. Heading into the Dallas Stars' season, they could use a stronger night signal for games. Who knows, maybe 1310 AM The Ticket becomes 570 AM The Ticket? Or maybe 93.3 The Ticket? Or maybe it's a simulcast arrangement? These are not, by the way, educated hunches. Merely guesses.

*What to look for in tonight's Cowboys-Vikings' pre-season finale? No injuries. Other than that, no injuries.

*Erin Andrews makes me sick. Was her privacy criminally violated? Indeed. But if it was truly a traumatic experience, wouldn't she want it to quietly go away? Instead, she okayed the running of a sexy spread in GQ magazine and of course on Sept. 11 - likely wrapped in a flag and with a bald eagle on her shoulder - she'll appear on Oprah for the sole purpose of crying. And, have you heard her recent 911 tape? Not saying it proves anything, but it damn sure gives a tad more credence to the conspiracy theorists who think she staged the video. Listen to it and try not to envision Anchorman's Ron Burgundy saying "I'm a pretty big deal."

*To those actually pondering holding your kid(s) out of school next Tuesday to shield them from the human mouth words of Evil Obama, what exactly is the lesson? To me it says "Respect authority. Unless, of course, it's someone who doesn't think exactly like you. In which case, you're justified in breaking the law." I was embarrassed and frustrated by George Bush countless times, but he was our/my President and I never disrespected him to this proportion. Seriously, it's alarming. When the President talks, it is almost our civic duty to at least listen? Not to agree. But to listen?

*Let's hope the Rangers sending out news of ticket sales for possible ALDS games at The Ballpark isn't as jinxy as Laura Miller's Mavs' parade route.

*We cherish, and rightfully so, iconic voices Brad Sham and Eric Nadel. They've been with their respective teams more than 30 years. Which makes Vin Scully's 60 years as play-by-play voice of the Dodgers even more amazing.

*With Michael Young sideline for two weeks, who will lead the Texas Rangers? Who will hit over .300? Who will keep the clubhouse humble after big wins and upbeat after demoralizing losses? I say that, behind the Mavs' Dirk Nowitzki, Young is Dallas' most indispensible player.

*I haven't seen all his movies, but after watching Lady in the Water and The Happening I can pretty much go out on a limb and guarantee that M. Night Shyamalan sucks ass.

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​Whether you're at the end of your rope or merely the end of your week, welcome to Whitt's End:

*Okay, let me snap off this Olive branch and extend it to the Christians this week. Peace?

*Props to 103.3 FM ESPN Radio's Randy Galloway for landing the first in-depth interview with Texas Rangers' outfielder Josh Hamilton since you know what. And props to Josh for sticking with his faith. "The Lord's been glorified a lot more," Hamilton told Galloway on Wednesday. "Jesus' name has been in the paper a lot more during that week, week and a half then it ever has been." I dare you to find something negative to say about that item. Dare ya!

*I say taking two of three in Yankee Stadium at this time of the year against the best team in baseball is the Rangers' most impressive feat this millennium. Texas now has three of the only 20 wins by visitors in New York this season. Still don't think they'll make the playoffs. At the same time, I'm a believer that we'll see meaningful baseball into October. And I applaud them for the release of Vicente Padilla and the demotion of Jason Jennings. Accountability = sexy.

*What kind of shit would y'all give me if I go see Depeche Mode Saturday night at Starplex? That's right, Starplex.

*Michael Vick choking a dog that's dressed in a Cowboys' jersey. I couldn't make that up.

*Venus and Serena Williams bought a piece of ownership in the Miami Dolphins. Dear Tom Hicks, please let tennis starlets Maria Sharapova and Tatiana Golovin buy the Rangers.

*Of the Cowboys' dozen draft picks, looks like only Southern Cal kicker David Buehler will make an impact as a rookie. Yikes.

*Again with the Swine Flu scare? Really?! Ya know, in general, sequels suck. And since the original was a flop, well ...

*There was a time when I was like 10 years old that all that mattered in the world was collecting those plastic 7-Eleven Slurpee cups with pictures of baseball players on them. Every day when I'd wake up my mission was to somehow scrounge up 25 cents so I could buy another Slurpee and hope to get Jeff Burroughs or Willie Stargell or Reggie Jackson. Man, I long for something that would so yank me out of bed these days.

*One thing I do like. I mean really, really like: Salad Fingers.

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​Whether you're at the end of your rope or merely the end of your week, welcome to Whitt's End:

*Found this Josh Hamilton interview from Rangers' spring training. March 18, 2009 to be exact. In other words, about two months - give or take - after his full-throttle, alcohol-laden night with half-naked coeds at an Arizona bar. The interviewer is Erica Newberg, daughter of the noted Rangers' afficianado Jamey Newberg. A particular question caught my fancy. Erica: Some kids who look to you as their role model think if Josh Hamilton can do drugs and drink alcohol and still be a great athlete that they can too. What would you say to them? Josh: I think I went through it and God allowed me to come through it so I can share the story of why not to do it. I hope they don't thnk that way because everything I loved was taken away from me because of drugs and alcohol. Remind me one more time how he's not a hypocrite?

*Brett Favre coming out of retirement got me to thinking: If we could pick one Cowboy - dead, alive and/or retired - to return for one season to help the 2009 season, who would it be? For  my money, Deion Sanders. The Cowboys need help at cornerback and the gap between Deion and Orlando Scandrick is about as big as it gets. Your thoughts?

*I know C.J. Wilson's home ERA is 0.81, but I don't trust him. Maybe it's because of the leather bull whip he wears as a necklace. And what's Dustin Nippert wearing around his neck? A lei? And one of those white iPhone AV chords? Weird.

*Your Dallas Cowboys have zero depth on the offensive line and I know who to blame: Bill Parcells. How's that, you ask? Do the names Kurt Vollers, Ryan Young, Matt Lehr, Al Johnson, Torrin Tucker, Marco Rivera, Rob Petitti, Jacob Rogers and Stephen Peterman ring a bell? All Parcells' guys.

*You're not going to like this Evangelicals, so cover your ears: Rangers' draft choice Matt Purke should fire his agent. The guy was the 11th pick overall. Say he has a great two seasons at TCU and - what - moves up six spots to 5th? Is it really worth it the risk? Here's the funny part: Purke said it was God who guided his negotiations. Giggle. Guffaw. Seriously?

*For those who love the phrases "i.e.", "candidly" and "keh-boyz", Jerry Jones has begun two weekly shows on 105.3 The Fan: Tuesdays at 8:10 a.m. and Fridays at 11:10 a.m.

*The reason we watch sports? Y.E. Yang. Not that we necessarily crave the Southlake-resident-by-way-of-South-Korea PGA champion per se. But the unpredictability of sports is just so damn unique. So intoxicating.

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​Whether you're at the end of your rope or merely the end of your week, welcome to Whitt's End:

*Lots of you asking for a breakdown of the latest Arbitron PPM radio ratings for July. Not worth a separate item these days because - yawn - The Ticket's dynasty just rolls on. Dunham & Miller and The Hardline have the equivalent of four-touchdown leads in morning and afternoon drive. The battle for No. 2, however, just got interesting. While The Ticket (No. 1 in the market) still dominates Men 25-54 with a 7.6 rating and ESPN (13th) has a 3.0 to The Fan's (20th) 2.2, 105.3 actually beat 103.3 from 10-Noon and tied it from 4-5 p.m.

*Speaking of The Fan, don't be surprised if Sean Salisbury's permanent new partner weekdays 2-6 is former Austin sports talk host Gregg Henson. Dan O'Malley isn't leaving. Just moving. Stay tuned.

*Now that's more like it. The Cowboys' second offensive series last night included a 12-yard out from Tony Romo to Roy Williams, a reverse to Patrick Crayton, a screen to Felix Jones and a power finish by Marion Barber. Toldja offensive coordinator Jason Garrett wasn't washed up just yet.

*Not to be too gross, but Texas Rangers' ace - that's right, ace - Scott Feldman reminds me of the girl next door. Not overly sensual. Not visually stunning. But day after day after solid outing after solid outing, he grows on you and, next thing you know, you're not in lust, but in love. Don't look now, but the neighbor girl with the pale skin and the lanky build is 12-4. All of his pitches have movement. He doesn't give away runs. He's gutsy. Hard to believe he wasn't in the rotation at the start of the season.

*Then again, of the five pitchers coming out of spring training only Kevin Millwood remains. Then: Millwood/ Vicente Padilla/ Brandon McCarthy/ Matt Harrison/ Kris Benson. Now: Millwood/ Feldman/ Derek Holland/ Tommy Hunter/ Dustin Nippert. Not sure if pitching coach Mike Maddux is a really crappy talent evaluator or a superb developer of young arms, but either way it's worked out.

*I know they get 100 miles to the gallon and are all eco-friendly, but I can't help from giggling every time I see one of these pull up next to me at a light. Just wondering, would you feel comfy in one on the Tollway now that the speed limit has been jacked up to 70 mph? Me neither.

*In town at various times this week: The Wiggles. Nastia Liukin. Paul McCartney. I'd pay to see none of them. If I had to go one, give me the Olympic gymnast.

*For those of you who this week "discovered" that Jerry Jones wears a rug, my response is "duh." Jerry's 66 with a full head of hair. His 45-year-old son Stephen has a considerable bald spot that looks like Tiger Woods took a 9-iron divot off of it. Do the math. The laws of heredity usually don't allow that kind of shit to happen.

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​Whether you're at the end of your rope or merely the end of your week, welcome to Whitt's End:

*Sunday is the NFL's annual Hall of Fame Game in Canton, Ohio. More importantly, it's the induction of my first Dallas Cowboys hero - Bob Hayes. I'll be watching. For one thing, to see if Lucille Hester will try any shenanigans. Remember her?

*Final comments scoreboard: Greg Williams 404, Russ Martin 73.

*We can debate whether C.J. Wilson should close or whether Elvis Andrus should be moved up in the order or whether Chris Davis should be resurrected from AAA, but isn't it all moot - and isn't the Rangers' season over - if Josh Hamilton continues to hit like Mario Mendoza?

*During my two weeks at Cowboys' training camp, best offensive player was Martellus Bennettt and best defensive player was Jay Ratliff. As for special teams, rookie David Buehler is a touchback machine on kickoffs.

*Speaking of Martin, this one reaction pretty much sums up the IQ of his listeners: You will all see, this was only the greatest radio bit of all time. Watch when he starts back up and J.D. and the rest of them are sitting next to Russ and they are laughing at all of you. Comment by itsabitgetit from dallas on Aug 3rd, 2009, 16:46 pm. Wow.

*See what's possible when you stop labeling a country as a member of some "Axis of Evil"?

*For what it's worth, 103.3 FM ESPN GM Pete Dits called Dale Hansen last week. To fire him. From a job he quit the week before. Who knows?

*I admire 1310 AM The Ticket's Craig Miller for running the New York City Marathon. For charity. I have aspirations of running (and writing about) the White Rock in December (we'll see).

*When you're turned on, your hormones are racing. Given that, shouldn't we get hormy?

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​Whether you're at the end of your rope or merely the end of your week, welcome to Whitt's End:

*Been buried in Camp Cowboys all week, but looks like 103.3 FM ESPN needs a new drive-time sidekick alongside Randy Galloway. Brian Estridge is leaving to co-host mornings on WBAP 820 AM with the legendary Hal Jay. Odds-on favorite for an increased role on Galloway & Company: Matt Mosley. Long-shot: Tyler radio icon David Smoak.

*We can - and I do - rip Wade Phillips for his ridiculously easy practices at training camp, but it's seemingly a league-wide trend. Back when Jimmy Johnson conducted fiercely violent "middle drills" - where running backs where mandated to run between only the two gaps next to the center - there was no salary cap to prevent picking up a replacement for the carnage. But now, seems like training-camp tackling has gone the way of high baseball pitch counts. They're both on the extinct list. Phillips must be doing something right in camp, as the Cowboys under him are 7-1 in September.

*Speaking of radio personalities, talked with Greg Williams this week and - trust me - he's getting help. Professional help. He'll probably be off more than on the radio with Richard Hunter for the next couple weeks. But in the long run, it's a good thing.

*More irritating: Rowdy or Batting Stance Guy?

*Though some of you told me I'd nosedive right into mid-life crisis and others suggested I'd be better off just blending into the masses with a pickup, I got my eye on this for my new car.

*Another feather in Jon Daniels' cap: New ace Tommy Hunter was acquired as a supplemental pick the 2007 draft. The Rangers got the choice as a result of the free-agent departure of Mark DeRosa. Decent swap, I'd say.

*The more I listen, the more I'm convinced this band could kick your band's ass.

*I counted three drops by Cowboys' receiver Isaiah Stanback over the first three practices. He may not make this team after all.

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*Once upon a time Walter Cronkite was the "most trusted man in America." His death got me wondering who wears that crown today? The answer hurts: Oprah.

*Sure smells like the Dallas Mavericks - who lost Marcin Gortat at the altar - are going to start the 2009-10 season with Erick Dampier jumping center. Can we possibly take them seriously?

*On consecutive nights at Rangers Ballpark, the Red Sox bats were absolutely smothered by Tommy Hunter, Dustin Nippert and Doug Mathis. How delicious was it to hear all those bandwagon Boston fans muted? Against Boston and Anaheim this season, the Rangers are a salty 12-3.

*I hear all the Obama critics haters crying "socialism" in the wake of his healthcare reform plan. Couple three things: 1. I've seen Sicko. 2. I have lots of friends from England who laugh at our system. 3. I know guys who work a second job just for the benefits because they can't afford doctor visits. That shit ain't right.

*"Birthers"? You're kidding, right? I weep for this country.

*You know what I don't get: People who take their kids - I'm talking 2- and 3-year-olds - to Las Vegas. You don't see packs of nearly-naked drunk girls in Chuck E. Cheese, do you?

*Though he has his own poodle crate in his own poodle room, my wife's irritating little ass of a poodle dog has a habit of sneaking into our room in the middle of the night. Couple times this week I woke up in the pitch dark to the sound of his poodle tag jing-jang-jangling. Bastard. Know what I'm gonna do? Next time he's taking a poodle nap at 3 in the afternoon I'm going creep up behind him, lift his poodle ear and rattle my keys like hell. That's what I'm gonna do all right.

*Cowboys' pre-season TV telecasts will include Brad Sham, Babe Laufenberg and Daryl Johnston. They will also include a TV/Radio simulcast. Interesting.

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*With the way the Texas Rangers have played and the way Andruw Jones and Elvis Andrus and Darren O'Day have performed, Jon Daniels gets my vote for MLB Executive of the Year at the season's halfway point. But Ron Washington for Manager of the Year? Um, has Fox Sports watched him scuffle his way through a game?

*Shawn Marion to the Mavs upgrades their roster. So does Marcin Gortat. But I still have Dallas ranked behind the Lakers, Nuggets and Spurs, who this off-season have added Richard Jefferson, Antonio McDyess and DeJuan Blair.

*Ian Kinsler's power numbers through four seasons are similar to Ryne Sandberg, but the Cub finished with an MVP and eight Gold Gloves. With the way Kinsler is upper-cutting every swing in an attempt to pad his homer numbers as a lead-off hitter, it's a good thing he didn't get validated as an All-Star. Beaten out by Brandon Inge, here's hoping Kinsler plays - and prepares - with a chip on his shoulder and a carrot in front of his face.

*Rangers' pitchers have exceeded all expectations this seasons, but what's with the gaudy necklaces? Seriously, Derek Holland and Jason Jennings are wearing thick, bulky, plastic-looking stethoscopes and C.J. Wilson's looks like a leather, woven bull whip.

*I coulda swore the Cowboys cut Greg Ellis. Right? You think he actually believes some of this stuff? I mean, really, DeMarcus Ware hiding so he could play. What is this, Pop Warner?

*Bitch and moan about Mark Cuban all you want, but just know that he paid - out of his pocket - $23 million for his team to be over the NBA's luxury tax threshold last season. Only seven teams went over. Need perspective? Two words: Tom. Hicks.

*We can pretend like the Mavs' signing of Shawn Marion is a big deal or even that Shaquille O'Neal's trade to Cleveland rocked our sports nation. But consider this: More than 80,000 turned out in Spain last week for the introduction of Cristiano Ronaldo as the newest member of Real Madrid's soccer club. Eighty thousand. Puts a little perspective on Duke's "Cameron Crazies" and the Raiders' "Black Hole" doesn't it?

*Just think for a moment: What if Roger Federer and his record 15 Grand Slam titles was from Seagoville instead of Switzerland. Then would we pay him proper tribute?

*I flipped on MTV the other day for the first time in a long time. What did I see? A show called Silent Library, where kids in Fear Factor-like dares have to remain quiet while eating caterpillar shit because, ya know, they're in a library. I am not making that up.

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Whether you're at the end of your rope or merely the end of your week, welcome to Whitt's End:

*Any day now expect 103.3 FM ESPN to announce it has signed Michael Irvin and co-host Kevin Kiley to a new contract keeping them in the 11 a.m.-2 p.m. slot. Considering the show's uninspired ratings and the current radio landscape (re: financially barren), I can guarantee Irvin took a significant pay cut on this deal.

*It's Texas. It's summer. Deal with it. The heat, I mean. To halt the bitching, we should make thermometers that stop at 99 degrees. Though the difference between 99 and 100 is negligible, it's a psychological threshold that freaks us out. Also, weathermenhumans should be required to give us July "wind chill" temperatures. I mean, it's 107 out in the sun but in the shade with a nice breeze it can't be more than 102, right?

*You're going to hate this initially, but stick with me: I respect the evil genius of Bernie Madoff. In the same way that we romanticize bank robbers, jewelry thieves and casino cheats, Madoff developed a way to beat the system with his Ponzi scheme. He's the greatest con man of our generation. It's possible to admire his brilliance yet hate the way he used it, right? (Addendum: Would you accept $13 billion to spend at your discretion at age 41 if, at 71, you were handcuffed and sent to prison for the rest of your life? Me: I'll see you behind bars.)

*The Mavs drafted another foreigner. Sucks, but at least he wasn't a big white stiff. What's that you say about Magic center Marcin Gortat? Nooooooo!

*If Michael Jackson would've chosen athletics, I'm thinking ... figure skater?

*Is it just me, or does there seem to be more center field homers at Rangers Ballpark than any other park? Speaking of Green's Hill, two words that would make those home-run ball scrums more interesting: Ladies. Only.

*I've been known to toot our President's horn, but I'm pissed at Obama for his about-face on governement transparency. Then: Open book. Now: Visitors' lists to the White House being kept private. Not good.

*Surely you've heard those annoying Tecate Light commercials on the radio by now. The one where the apparently deaf dude makes the bartender repeat his options about 10 times. At the end, when the patron finally asks for a Tecate Light, the bartender responds "Sure, coming up man." There's then this terrible crashing noise. WTF? Did the bartender take a fall on a wet spot? Or did he get tired of being pestered and smash a beer stein across the dude's noggin'?

*Dumbest idea ever: One of the Jonas Brothers is getting engaged. If he only realized what he could be doing.

*I was driving along the Bush Tollway Turnpike the other day, when I wondered what in the hell was a turnpike? Just another name for tollway, turns out.

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Whether you're at the end of your rope of merely the end of your week, welcome to Whitt's End:

*Ventured down to the Mavs' draft last night and it was ... sad. Not the selection of Rodrigue Beaubois - though underwhleming - but more the lack of buzz. I remember when a much worse Mavs' organization/team could attract 7,500 to Reunion Arena for a draft party. Last night's official "party" consisted of probably 50 patrons and three ManiAACs at the makeshift Chili's on the corner of the AAC. Seems like the night would've been a great opportunity to temporarily resurrect Victory Plaza, which died long before Michael Jackson or Farrah Fawcett.

*Speaking of that ghost town, I hear Emmitt Smith was momentarily interested in opening a sports bar in the old N9NE Steakhouse space. Was, as in past tense. Unfortunately, it's going to take a McDonald's with all its McShitty food and McRelentlessmarketing to bring that place back to life.

*Shame about the King of Pop. In the end, Michael Jackson was a creepy, reclusive freak whose reputation faded faster than the width of his nose and the color of his skin. But you'll never forget the first time you saw him "moonwalk" at the Motown show in '83. And, personally, I count seeing him live at halftime of Cowboys-Bills Super Bowl XXVII in the Rose Bowl among my 10 coolest moments in sports.

*Even sadder about the death of Farrah Fawcett. Weird when I remember back to my childhood and two of the people on the posters in my room pass on the same day. 

*Ed McMahon picked a really bad week to check out of this world.

*Something else that died this week: A proposed Moneyball movie starring Brad Pitt. Too bad. I'd sure America would flock to see a flick about how the suck-ass Oakland A's pinch pennies and manufacture runs. Yeah, right.

*Want to re-invigorate your marriage? Tell your girlfriend you're basically done with her. Then trot her out before 30 of your buddies, telling them she's available if they'll inherit her debt. When they pass, take her back. Voila! She'll instantly work harder and perform better. No? Worked for the Rangers and Vicente Padilla. Since they put him on waivers he's 3-0 with a 2.16 ERA. Weird.

*In 1997 Tiger Woods burst onto golf - and the national sports scene - with an unprecedented 12-shot win at The Masters. The dawn of a new era, no doubt. But 12 years later, um, where are all the black golfers that Tiger's arrival was supposed to spawn?

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Whether you're at the end of you're rope or merely the end of your week, welcome to Whitt's End:

*If you saw the abortion that was Joe Buck Live on HBO Monday night, know this: It could have been much worse. How's that? Guess who Buck begged and pleaded to have on his virginal voyage? That's right, Tony Romo. Give Romo credit, he turned down the invite because the Cowboys had a minicamp this week. If you missed it, Howard Stern (very unfunny) comedian Artie Lange hijacked/sabotaged Buck 's debut with a flurry of F-bombs and personal attacks of the host. And, at one point, Lange went off on the tired, old "Tony Homo" rant.

*Still, I don't get it. HBO bleeped out Lange's colorful language. Just three night prior I saw Bill Maher tell Larry King to "shut the fuck up."

*Speaking of HBO, two giant thumbs up to True Blood. If you're bored with been-there-done-that sitcoms and choreographed reality shows, you'll find its darkness creative, refreshing and alluring.

*Saw where Cotton Bowl officials are again promising to host another bowl game in the wake of its namesake game heading to Arlington. Yeah, right. Still waiting for that $50 million facelift to begat something more than an elaborate prop for Michael Irvin's Fourth and Long. Meanwhile Dallas, congrats, Frisco is now a bigger sports hub. After landing a new D-League franchise owned by Mavs' GM Donnie Nelson, the ballsy 'burb now has connections to the MLS (FC Dallas), MLB (RoughRiders), NHL (Star Center) and NBA.

*While the Rangers continue fooling themselves by thinking they can be a legit playoff contender with a first baseman - shouldn't that be Kris Davis, with a K? - that hits .200, here's a sobering thought: The San Diego Padres have baseball's home-run leader. Goes by the name of Adrian Gonzalez. Ring a bell? Dammit.

*Something ain't right. Dante Stallworth gets 30 days for DUI manslaughter, but the penalty for Dwayne Goodrich running down three people and leaving the scene while sober is 12 years?

*Not sure if this is Pitbull signing "Calle Ocho" or vice-versa, but I am absolutely certain it's already the most annoying song of Summer '09. Was killing time waiting at the airport last night so just for fun I counted: The song - in English, then in Spanish - counts to four a total of nine times.

*Happy Father's Day. What do I want? Just this. Doable?

*We've seen Bump Wills, Ken Norton Jr., Brett Hull and Bobby Bonds around these parts, but as Father-Son duos with both excelling in Dallas, I guess it's the Von Erichs. Right?

*Speaking of fathers, guess who wants to be a single dad? Yep, Dirk Nowitzki.

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Whether you're at the end of your rope or merely the end of your week, welcome to Whitt's End:

*Might Michael Irvin's days at ESPN Radio be numbered? This isn't sourced "breaking news", but more so a simple putting two-and-two together and arriving at a common sense conclusion. And, no, it has nothing to do with Irvin getting sued for allegedly stealing his Fourth and Long concept or the mysterious disappearance of that gun-pointing incident he reported last January. Consider: Irvin's 18-month contract with the station ends this month and, let's face it, 103.3 FM isn't getting sufficient bang for its buck. In April's ratings, ESPN got a 4.4 with its national shows from 6-11 a.m.before dropping off to a 2.9 with Irvin and partner Kevin Kiley from 11 a.m.-2 p.m. I know there's a certain panache to having the Playmaker on your airwaves, but at some point a Bristol bean counter is going to realize it's not worth it in the two categories that count most in radio: Ratings and revenue.

*Biggest surprise of the Rangers' surprising season: Not Josh Hamilton's dramatic drop-off. Not Elvis Andrus' acrobatic arrival. Not even Tom Hicks selling the team. I'm going with Scott Feldman's 5-0 record and 3.79 ERA. Remember, the guy didn't pitch well enough in Spring Training to even earn a job in the starting rotation.

*Explain to me again why the Cowboys announced they were severing ties with Greg Ellis a week before releasing him? No team is dumb enough to trade for a player who's about to be cut. Right?

*I feel better about a relaxed world in which Kobe Bryant can be referred to as the "Black Mamba." Not long ago he would've been the "African-American Mamba."

*I hate the damn Yankees, but it's a little sad how empty and quiet their new stadium is.

*Laugh at soccer all you want, but its international governing body - FIFA - turned a $184 million profit in 2008.

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Whether you're at the end of your rope or merely the end of your week, welcome to Whitt's End:

*Trust me, you'll be elated if David McDavid buys the Texas Rangers. Biggest reason: His dream is not to make more money, but to own a championship sports franchise in the Metroplex.

*One of the things McDavid would change, guaranteed: You could wear a "Yankees Suck!" T-shirt to the ballpark. Gawd, we're so over-sensitive, politically correct, soft, safe and silly. It's embarrassing. If "suck" was legitimately offensive, then wouldn't its antonym - "blow" - be a compliment? (This just in, dearest Bible Belt: There are countless synomyms for "bad.") What, this weekend fans will be prohibiting from booing Oakland?

*I'm taking a couple trips this summer. Seattle. Vegas. Maybe Mexico. Definitely San Antonio. But on June 24th I'll be in Duncanville, Texas. Why? You-know-who is coming back. That's right, Terrell Owens' summer camp will go on as scheduled June 24-25 at DHS. Considering his release, recent Twitter-cizing of Jason Garrett and Tony Romo, I expect the former Cowboys' villain-turned-hero-turned-villain will have a thing or two to say. Nickel says it's - as usual - non-sensical. His website calls for all "Baller Boyz", whatever that meanz.

*Speaking of summer fun, try this and get back to me: Play wiffle ball, with the base paths lined with Slip 'n Slides. One of my best memories as a kid. One of my best memories as an adult? Trading my teammate with a quick bat for one in a string bikini.

*I know The Ticket is as strong as ever. But during my Hardline guest appearances over the years those boys always referred to 5:30 as the "sweet spot." In April's ratings from 5-6 p.m. the Hardline was was tied by ESPN's Randy Galloway at 6.1 apiece. Nothing to get alarmed about, just used to seeing that show dominate.

*I'm continually amazed at the utter illiteracy of this country. For the record, you "lose" a game but you wear "loose" boxers. Next person emailing me or making a comment along the lines of "I've got nothing to loose" will be sentenced to listening to those irritating McDonald's "McCafe" commercials. McIdiots.

*If you watched last night's epic triple-double by LeBron James, you saw an entire fourth quarter where he dribbled the ball at the top of the key, waved off teammates and made a one-on-one move as the shot clock wound down. He is truly amazing. Passing. Scoring. Creating. The more you watch him the more you realize what a sham it is that Mike Brown is the NBA's Coach of the Year.

*As for the NBA, aren't we tired yet of chanting "M-V-P!" when a chosen candidate goes to the free-throw line? Cleveland fans did it every time for LeBron last night. Okay, we get it. He won. Next?

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Whether you're at the end of your rope or merely the end of your week, welcome to Whitt's End:

*You'll have to savor this offering like a cow with its cud, because this morning I'm headed out to the Byron Nelson to chug margaritas and chase girls in The Pavilion watch golf and conduct research for next week's column in the Observer's print product. Allow me an excused absence?

*First it was Bill Parcells. Now it appears Tony Romo's going to avoid referring to Terrell Owens by name. And you thought Corby Davidson was polarizing?

*During the NBA Playoffs on TNT I've been mesmerized by this cool Heineken commercial. Just once in my life I want to have that much fun in a cab. To show you how lame I am, I went searching for that hot, new song that, turns out, came out in 1989. How did I miss the Biz Markie era?

*Best trade in Metroplex sports history: Herschel Walker or Mark Teixeira? In 1989 the Cowboys sent Walker to the Minnesota Vikings for five players (Issiac Holt, Jesse Solomon, Darrin Nelson, David Howard and Alex Stewart) and six draft picks they eventually parlayed into Emmitt Smith, Darren Woodson, Russell Maryland and Kevin Smith). In 2007 the Rangers sent Teixeira and reliever Ron Mahay to the Atlanta Braves for Jarrod Saltalamacchia, Elvis Andrus, Matt Harrison, Neftali Feliz and Beau Jones. Not bad, but not close to the Herschel Heist.

*Call me a commie, but looks to me like the only difference between Memorial Day and Veterans' Day is, um, death.

*Still not sure what to make of MMA, but I know I'm kinda excited about Saturday's night UFC 98: Evans vs. Machida. Give me The Dragon over Sugar. Look for a blow-by-blow recap on here sooner. Or perhaps later.

*I'm prepared to forgive Michael Vick. You?

*The new ESPN documentary is called Kobe: Doin' Work. In my world, I try to use one word instead of two. Especially when it's grammatically correct. It should be Kobe: Working. Would your short film, for example, be called Doin' Sex, or Effing? No surprise that it took Spike Lee less than five minutes to give himself credit for Kobe's success and - in turn - me less than five minutes to tune out. How'd it end? Does Kobe live?

*In general, there are no ugly "studs" and no beautiful "sluts".

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Whether you're at the end of your rope or merely the end of your week, welcome to Whitt's End:

*Of the Texas Rangers' hot start - they are 20-14 compared to 14-20 last year - the most amazing feat is pitcher Matt Harrison's back-to-back complete games. If you're looking for Nolan Ryan's stamp on this team, there it is. The Rangers had only five complete games last year and none in '07. Ryan, who had six complete games for the Rangers as a 42-year-old and once threw 239 pitches in a game as a New York Met, demands his pitchers throw deeper into games. Manager Ron Washington is merely following orders. So far, so great.

*As you read here first, Greg Williams is officially out at ESPN Radio. Haven't talked to him yet, but a mutual friend says he's doing okay and is determined to get back into radio in some form at some point. As for ESPN's 7-10 p.m. slot, the frontrunner to replace Greggo alongside R.J. Choppy is Wally Lynn. I've also heard Mike Fisher's voice on there multiple times this week. Do I smell a 570 AM KLIF reunion?

*Give you a million guesses who emailed me with a biting criticism of my Greggo coverage. (Jump for answer.)

*With the Cowboys and now the Miss Texas pageant moving to Arlington, how long until we start referring to our home as DAFW?

*In news that made me giggle, the U.S.-Japan women's soccer game scheduled for May 20 at Frisco's Pizza Hut Park has been cancelled on account of, yep, Swine Flu. Both fans that purchased a ticket have been promised a full refund. But really now, by Wednesday won't we already be knee-deep in our next fake fear?

*Yes, thanks for asking, I do have a huge problem with Tony Romo's off-season. The Cowboys' quarterback spent last week trying to qualify for the U.S. Open. Why? If he would've made the tournament - in New York June 18-21 - it would've conflicted with a team minicamp. Yes he gets to have a personal life and he can play all the golf he wants. But Romo is paid $67 million not to have a hobby that conflicts with his day job. Okay?

*Nuggets' coach George Karl can yap all he wants about the Mavs' AAC crowd being supposedly boorish, but my nickel says no way in hell was the Denver contingency merely one big innocent victim. Total bullshit. That said, Mark Cuban does have to accept responsibility for setting a poor example of how to respond to adversity.

*Jason Kidd did not have a double-digit assist game in the playoffs. I find that amazing, especially considering his team shot 48 percent and averaged 107 points per game against the Nuggets. I also find this amazing. Amazingly horrible.

*The overly loud talker is one of the most annoying species on our planet. I was at the grocery store and - from two aisles away, mind you - I heard a guy proclaiming "I'll just text you and let's get this thing done!". My question: Are these people deaf, dorky or just starving for attention?

*Speaking of things I don't get: The guy driving with the seat laying all the way back and the guy who drives with his right arm outstretched along the top of the passer seat. One's sleepy and the other has an imaginary girlfriend? Okay, then you tell me.

*Turns out Dirk was partaking in the sloppy seconds of a former Cowboys' quarterback. Yuck.

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Whether you're at the end of your rope or merely the end of your week, welcome to Whitt's End:

*Looks like The Ticket's parent company - Cumulus Media - is asking forcing employees to take five unpaid days off before June 30. Ouch. Maybe not a big deal to on-air talent with six-figure salaries, but to office staff and board ops, etc., missing an entire week's pay is significant. Though the move is voluntary to on-air personnel, I hearby welcome any Ticket host to spend one of their days off blogging here at Sportatorium. Lunch is on me.

*I know the Texas Brahmas aren't major league hockey. But Wednesday night they had themselves a major league celebration. After winning the Central Hockey League's championship series in North Richland Hills, they even skated the President's Cup. First time I remember a Metroplex pro sports team ending a season with smiles this millenium.

*I don't watch a lot of TV. But when I do, I prefer watching those commercials featuring The Most Interesting Man in the World. Stay funny, my friends.

*I'll believe a minor-league baseball park on the banks of the Trinity River when I see it. And not a second before. You?

*How long did it take you to figure out the meaning of the name Spearmint Rhino?

*Tuesday the North Texas Super Bowl XLV Host Committee will announce 10-15 major venues associated with the game. Team hotels, NFL Experience, Taste of the NFL, media center, etc. No, the convention center hotel is not on the agenda. Or is that yes?

*Silver lining in Dirk Nowitzki's traumatic experience with his female roommate/girlfriend/fiancee: He caught the fraud before the pre-nup was signed. Good for him.

*I despise the Denver Thuggets, but I'm giving credit to their fans. Actually heard an original, creative chant at Pepsi Center during Game 2: "You can't beat us!" Beats the hell out of The Wave.

*My sympathies to Fox 4 cameraman photo journalist Larry Rodriguez. He's been sucker-punched by Kenny Rogers and slammed by Mother Nature, yet he remains one of the nicest humans on this planet.

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And then one day, just to keep his readers on their toes, the demented blogger stood Whitt's End on its head ...

*For those inclined toward auditory masochism, I'll again be the analyst for Time Warner Cable/Metro Sports Channel 185's upcoming telecasts of the Texas Brahmas minor-league hockey playoff games. Game 3 of the President's Cup championships series is Sunday at 3, Game 4 Tuesday night at 7 and Game 5 Wednesday night at 7. As for radio, Saturday I'll be in my regular seat on 105.3 The Fan from 1-5 p.m. and Sunday 8-Noon. Consider yourself warned.

*Just wondering: When they get married, do saves still get blown?

*Initially I thought this was a bit right out of HBO's Flight of the Conchords. But I think it's real. For sure it's real funny.

*When you're Googling, you ever hit the "I'm Feeling Lucky" button? Me neither.

*If I wouldn't have been at a concert Thursday night I would've gone to the film about Dallas' old Starck Club. This sounds very old mannish of me, but they don't make clubs - or scenes - like that anymore. I saw Stevie Nicks and Prince there. Not performing, just partying. How weird/wild was it in the mid-80s? First time I went I wore, swear: purple high-top Chuck Taylors, parachute pants, sleeveless zebra-print T-shirt, dangling earring and, yep, mascara - on one eye. Nobody looked at me twice.

*I've said it before and I'll say it again: Beware the white pickup.

Whether you're at the end of your rope or merely the end of your week, welcome to Whitt's End:

*Barring a trade, the Cowboys won't make their first pick (51st overall) in tomorrow's NFL Draft until around 9:30 p.m., a good six hours after the thing kicks off. But it's worth it to tune in early. Why? Best draft day in the history of Dallas, or any other city. Our fair burg may not only get the No. 1 overall pick (Highland Park quarterback Matthew Stafford) for the first time, but after producing just eight Top 10 picks in four decades tomorrow Dallas could have three with Stafford, W.T. White offensive lineman Jason Smith and Carter receiver Michael Crabtree. No city has ever produced three Top 10 picks in the same draft.

*Stafford, for what it's worth, is a 10-handicapper from Highland Park who has no guess on his most unique quality. Time and money come to mind.

*Couple problems with ESPN E:60's story on the coattails of my story about former Cowboy Dwayne Goodrich. First, why do all its cameras appear to be filming during a 6.4 earthquake? Shaky here. Quick-zooms there. It's all very unstable. On MTV's Cribs, that's artsy. On a serious, investigative magazine show, that's annoying. Secondly, in re-hashing E:60's version, The Ticket morning host George Dunham talked about ESPN getting "the first interview ever" with Goodrich. Love Jub-Jub, but apparently I should've given him a free subscription to the friendly Dallas Observer for Christmas.

*Speaking of local media, D Magazine's popular FrontBurner blog is going cold turkey on comments. Weird. Isn't that akin to a talk radio station deciding not to take calls? A business yanking its suggestion box? I, for one, am not so snobbish to the point of deleting audience participation and removing the "take" from out lil' "give and take." Besides, I misused "their" last week. Need all the editors I can muster. Your comments will always be welcome here. I'm a big boy, call me a douche bag all you want. Douche bag.

*ABC NBA play-by-play voice Mike Breen drives me crazy. Has there ever been a more lame signature sports catch phrase than his "Puts it in!" You don't "put" the basketball in the basket. If Breen were doing play-by-play of Sunday afternoon catch-up laundry, maybe "put" would be an appropriate active verb. But, no, "Puts it in!" reduces the art of scoring two points to some sort of menial chore. Besides, doesn't Breen join that silly Dancing With The Stars host as generic, graying guys who belong on a box of Just For Men?

*From the Department of Calling Out Bullshit on TV, I saw that Southwest Airlines "No Hidden Fees" commercial again this week. You know, the one where the guy gets this great price from the ticket agent, only for her to turn around and have a second face that demands exorbitant fees. In mocking American's bag fees, Southwest flashes "$69!" on the screen. But with an assist from my friend TiVo, I read the fine print that flashes for about 0.8 seconds: One-way with 21-day advance. Federal tax of $3.60 per takeoff and landing, airport taxes of up to $9, and federal Sept. 11 security fee of up to $5 one-way not included. Hidden fees indeed.

*The coach who rang up 100 on a Dallas girls high-school hoops team tries to defend his actions here. Not buying it.

*Minor League baseball along the banks of the Trinity? I can see it now, a four-team division -  Fort Worth Cats, Frisco RoughRiders, Dallas and Texas - in which the Rangers actually have a shot at winning.

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Whether you're at the end of your rope or merely the end of your week, welcome to Whitt's End:

*If I were I am a betting man, and I am plunking down $1 that 105.3 The Fan and the Dallas Cowboys officially announce their flagship radio station partnership next week. Trust me when I say the deal is done. It's just the dotting of i's, crossing of t's and massaging of Texas Motor Speedway's hurt feelings that's taking time. Formal press conference or not, The Fan will host the Cowboys' official draft party April 25 at the Arlington Convention Center.

*Went to Randy Galloway's Racing Against the Odds at Lone Star Park last night. Benefitting the American Diabetes Association, it was a star-studded event. Nolan Ryan. Roy Williams. Toby Peterson. Michael Irvin. Charley Pride. Highlights of the night: This guy freaking out folks (yes, including me) by seemingly reading their minds. And SMU football coach June Jones buying an auction item featuring a round of golf at Dallas National with Dale Hansen.

*While John Madden's retirement may be bad news for the Coppell Deli (he always had those folks cater his Madden Cruiser on trips through Dallas), it's not terrible for us. Sad, but not bad. For years I've put Madden the class of Dick Vitale. Passionate. Omnipresent. Enthusiastic. But, honestly, not all that insightful. The guy became a legend not for what he said, but how he said it. My memories of Summerall-Madden serenading me to sleep on cold Sundays spent under a blanket on the couch will always be cozy, but "Wham!" had outlived its expiration date.

*Smart kid, that Matthew Stafford. The Highland Park-ex hasn't been chosen by a team yet, but he has chosen his NFL Draft Day theads: Lombardo Custom Apparel.

*While the TEA Party crybabies are attacking government spending, why don't they pick on the absurdity of military flyovers at sporting events? I mean, those things aren't free are they?

*It's official, Fox News Channel has lost all credibility. FNC sponsored and relentlessly promoted TEA Party Day - think Tostitos Fiesta Bowl - then covered the events like they were organic, grass-roots, newsy uprisings. Shame.

*Somalian pirates have a "code of conduct"? WTF?

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