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Now, Roger Clemens. The judge in his perjury trial this morning declared a mistrial after prosecuting attorneys showed jurors evidence against his wishes.
Isn't anyone guilty of anything anymore?
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By the way they reacted at their fog-machine introduction last summer and their tearful over-reaction last week, you'd think the Miami Heat already had won two championships this season.
But no, after last night's drubbing in Chicago they trail the Eastern Conference Finals, 1-0.
And for those of us who remember him fake falling down and then parading to the free-throw line time and time and time again in the 2006 NBA Finals, feel free to loop this Taj Gibson posterization of Dwyane Wade all friggin' day long.
Enjoy.
People ask me where my hatred for Wade started. Jump to refresh your memory ...
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10. When I first heard President Obama was making an emergency announcement at 9:30 on a Sunday night, my first thought was ... asteroid. Then aliens. Then NFL lockout. Then Osama Bin Laden. And somewhere along the process I figured it was just a ploy to interrupt Donald Trump's Celebrity Apprentice.
9. Shame on CNN's Wolf Blitzer. I generally trust him, but last night he kept teasing us with, "I have a gut feeling as to what this announcement is, but I'm not going to share it yet." I know who is going to win Mavs-Lakers, but I'm not going to tell you until after the series is over.
8. The bearded, bastard boogie man has been vanquished. As in Braveheart, should Bin Laden's body be torn into four pieces, its parts flown on flagpoles in four corners of our country as a warning to future terror tyrants?
7. Cowboys at Jets season opener -- Sept. 11 in New York -- just got a little more meaningful.
6. Sucks for George Dubya Bush. I remember when he brazenly promised to "smoke him out of his holes" and capture Bin Laden "dead or alive." Sorry, but he didn't finish the job. (Wonder if he has that "Mission Accomplished" banner handy?) Maybe I'm mistaken, but I think Obama got re-elected last night.
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Thanks to the tip from loyal Sportatorium reader, Luca:
If you're not busy Sunday morning and you always wanted to barf on a pew, head down to Ovilla's First Baptist Church.
Now appearing at the pulpit: David Bliss. Yep, that one.
Actually, the church's website boasts a speaking engagement from a David Bliss, but there's no mistaking the stench of a former college basketball coach - including a corrupt stint at SMU from 1980-88 - who paid players, lied, cheated, hid positive drug test results and, in the end, tried to blame it all on the dead guy.
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