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Or, better said, nobody knows nothin' different than anybody else. Weatherhumans aren't like sportscasters, who can, on a given night, at least give you a prediction on opposite teams or breaking news in different sports. Weatherhumans on our TVs -- on all TVs -- usually agree other than a few degrees here or there.

It's not like one will predict snow and down the dial you'll get another saying sunny and 86. With all the electronic accu-gizmos and "computer models" these days, it's all one big homogenized yawn. What happened to hunches and gut feelings and "I've seen this before" and trick knees that "act up" ahead of the approaching Blue Norther?

Last weekend I saw most every local station breathlessly talking about a significant winter weather event, only to get a couple inches of snow in my yard. Everybody got it right, but everybody also over-sensationalized the impact.

When it comes to weatherhumans, we're no longer treated to classic greatness like Troy Dungan, Mike Burger, Kristine Kahanek or Harold Taft. Today's weather is all about style, not substance.

So in ranking our top weatherhumans, I took into account not prognostications but rather performance, personality and, yes, pizazz.

Where was I?

Dropping off the kid for his Spring Break flight at Love Field - for three hours. Why?

Beats me.

Ice schmice. Guess what's just around the corner?

Spring training.

Sports Illustrated's swimsuit issue.

St. Patrick's Day. 

This was taken outside my house this morning!! Actually, I lied. But it is drizzling.

Ice Storm! Cold drizzle.

Last night I watched Channel 8's Pete Delkus and Fox4's Dan Henry both warn us of impending doom. "Ice Storm" Delkus blared. "Significant 36-hour event" crowed Henry. So, like you, I ran out and bought a generator, some Funyuns, 3 bags of sand/salt mix and put the snow chains on the family truckster.

It's going to be 1979 all over again!

And this morning? Sure enough, you can almost see them trying to stifle a giggle as they yet again play Lucy to our Charlie Brown.

Where have you gone, Harold Taft?

I can almost understand the BCS, just about explain the NBA's defensive three seconds and sometimes even comprehend Tom Hicks' vision to make the Texas Rangers a winner.

But I am totally and utterly clueless about what was falling on my driveway last night/this morning. Sleet? Freezing rain? Frozen drizzle? Snow? Really cold hail? Black ice? Vanilla Ice? Reverse global warming?

Beats me.

Think you can do better, ol' man winter? Fine, try this matching quiz, Wintry Mix Home Edition: