Dallas Sports Blog

Texas beats OU, even in the girls' bathroom. 

And the delicious conclusion of Parts 2 and 3 ...

Every once in a while - not too often, I readily admit - when I smell shit it actually turns out to be shit.

On Tuesday I labeled this Fox/Burger King collaboration the dumbest video in the history of ever.

Don't look now, but Fox/Burger King agree. In the form of ...

Since I'm usually on 105.3 The Fan as part of the Dallas Cowboys pre-game show, I no longer get to partake in Fox NFL Sunday.

My reaction: Praise Allah.

Because after seeing this video and learning that this "The King and Us" series is now a weekly staple, I'm embarrassed for Curt, Terry, Howie, Michael and Jimmy. Well, Terry not so much. But this is ridiculous.

I'm all for push-the-envelope edgy humor and I'm a Family Guy animation groupie, but this is just so ... so ... insanely stupid.

The lowlights ...

A little vamping while I toodle down to San Antonio if you don't mind. Usually I reserve my Video of the Week until Friday, but this one couldn't wait.

In last Saturday's WNBA All-Star - wait, it gets funnier - Sylvia Fowles wanted to dunk. So the players cleared a lane. The refs let her travel.

And the rim reminded us why the WNBA sucks. (Zoom to the 1:10 mark and prepare to be dazzled.)

Lots of stuff hit the Internet while I was on vacation. Let's play some peek-a-boo catch-up, shall we?

ERIN ANDREWS

I can't legally directly link to the Erin Andrews video - you know the one - but I can say that I saw it last week at a site that rhymed with smotally nsfw dot com. I watched it a couple times (for research!) and I can say that I sincerely feel guilty about not feeling guilty. She is the victim of a crime. She's also a slave to her sexuality. No doubt it's opened professional doors for her. Now it's haunting her once-private life. Erin is an extremely good-looking, below-average storyteller. Life ain't fair, but I say that in the long run this incident will only enhance her aura and, in turn, her career. That said, personally it's a humiliating nightmare for her. What does it all mean? It means good luck with your search, that's what it means. But be careful.

 

MARTELLUS BENNETT

And I thought I felt bad when I watched white trash embracing being a redneck? Bennett, already fined this off-season for an inappropriate video, again proves he's an immature kid with too much time on his hands. Let's just hope his grasp of the Cowboys' offense is better than his understanding of humor. And common sense.

 

Only three years ago? Seems like a thousand heartbreaks since doesn't it?

Okay, I admit, I've bungee-jumped and dived out of an airplane and dared to criticize Mark Cuban and I might even like to run with bulls some day.

But I'll be damned if I ever chase a wheel of cheese down one of the steepest pasture on God's green Earth.

Wow.

After re-living this overtime glory, something tells me the Mavs will miss DeSagana Diop and Jerry Stackhouse.

Ryan Hollins and Antoine Wright, I'm looking at you.

I know other columnists disagree, but I think this is it. Tonight's the final game in the Stars-studded hockey career of Mike Modano.

Horrible season. Getting called out. A team-worst minus-14. Only one goal in his last 34 games. Turning 39 in June. Her waiting at home.

Just a gut feeling.

It's not Wayne Gretzky hanging up his skates, but it could be the last game for the face of Dallas hockey for 15 years and the greatest American-born scorer in the history of the NHL.

Set your TiVo's accordingly, just in case. Stars-Ducks, Channel 21, 9 p.m.

You think he'll be back?

Where were you for Magic vs. Bird 30 years ago? Some of you were just twinkles. Some of us were already hip-deep in bracketology.

None of us, however, envisioned Dick Enberg's career outlasting Magic Johnson, Larry Bird, Al McGuire and Billy Packer.

I remember seeing this live, then rewinding the TiVo over and over and over again until I was in tears.

It's old, but it never gets old. Ya know?

Staged racks on America's Funniest Videos: Insulting. Raw, real racks: Priceless.

The Mavs are yucking it up on the bench, just seconds from surviving a Game 7 in San Antonio on their way to the NBA Finals in 2006. When, out of nowhere, a frantic coach Avery Johnson decides to insert Adrian Griffin, and impale Josh Howard.

Give me Emmitt Smith and George Teague in retirement.

You can have your active cut Terrell Owens.

I'm only half-kidding when I ask this: Was it worth it for South Oak Cliff High School to change the grades of three players - including McDonald's All-American Darrell Arthur - and win back-to-back state basketball championships in 2005-06, only to have the titles later forfeited?

At the time SOC's wins were screaming, front-page news, while last week's formal forfeiture was merely a subtle footnote buried amongst the brieflys on page 8. I know the stats from the '06 game are officially "expunged" and that the records will indicate a 2-0 final score, but I'm betting the "victory" feels ridiculously hollow to the kids from Fort Worth Dunbar.

Two more questions:

*How is it that the players - including Arthur - are totally innocent?

*How is it, as the Kansas TV report asks, that Arthur kept up at math at KU when he couldn't pass at SOC?

Discuss amongst yourselves.

 

Stumbled across this classic footage of a guy I'm glad the Mavericks didn't trade yesterday. Wow, I think Dirk Nowitzki dunked more in his 1999 All-Star Rookie Game appearance than in the rest of his career combined.

As Hubie Brown predicts, "He's a handful." 

For all the lovers. 

Is this:

A) Tragically sad and horrifying for a family that's suffered enough.

B) Hilarious.

You like me, having trouble taking Super Bowl XLIII seriously?

I mean, the Cardinals? The Arizona/Phoenix/St. Louis Cardinals?!

I know, both teams beat the Cowboys, but neither feel "super." Just seems like another spare NFL game. This, sports fans, is what it would be like if the Clippers made the NBA Finals or the Tampa Bay Rays made the World Series. Oops.

Yep, we've come to this.

It was 13 years ago. Feels like 103. In January 1996 I was a 31-year-old Mavericks beat writer for the Fort Worth Star-Telegram trying to make sense of The Three J's.

You?

Makes you wonder why the Stars haven't been on The Ticket all along.

To quote Brad Sham: "What a pitiful display by the Dallas Cowboys."

And, to think, we thought they'd still be playing come 2009. - Richie Whitt

 

As if I needed to remind you, don't eff with Santa. - Richie Whitt

Larry Cole. Roger Staubach. Tony Hill. Pat Summerall. Tom Landry. Cowboys 35, Redskins 34 in 1979.

They can take the Cowboys out of Texas Stadium, but they'll never take Texas Stadium out of the Cowboys.

I still get goose bumps. - Richie Whitt

Terrell Owens has had more passes thrown to him this season than Jason Witten.

Terrell Owens was elected a team captain.

But Terrell Owens, above all else, is the common denominator. Where there's locker-room smoke, there's always T.O.'s fire.

If you're surprised by this week's shenanigans, you haven't been paying attention. Or, perhaps, you were actually fooled by a fool? - Richie Whitt

Vern Lundquist: " ... caught! ... Touchdown!! ... DROPPED!!!"

With Cowboys-Steelers always comes Jackie Smith.

We'll never forget. Are we ready to forgive? - Richie Whitt

   You've probably seen Twilight. You likely watched at least some of HBO's TrueBlood. And, considering it's suddenly trendy to be all vampirey, you've at least tinkered with the idea of checking out the new Vampire Lounge over on Harry Hines.

   But, have you ever seen a real vampire? And, of course, the more important question:

   Wouldja? - Richie Whitt

Seriously, how can you not love Texas Tech coach Mike Leach?

His favorite weather: “When it rains mud.” His half-ass name for the live radar: “The beam.” His favorite creed: “You’re going to be dead in 100 years anyway. Live dangerously.”

Still hope he somehow winds up in Dallas. Not to replace Pete Delkus, but Wade Phillips.

As if the video isn't enough to convince you to root for the Red Raiders in tomorrow night’s showdown against OU in Norman, allow me to present more visual evidence:

Has there ever been a better montage ruined by a worse soundtrack?

Discuss. – Richie Whitt

I don’t believe in ghosts. Skeptical about spirits. But something about this car just ain’t right.

In fact, I had to watch it twice just to make sure I thought I saw what I think I was seeing. Don’t want to spoil it, but I’ve never seen a vehicle do anything like that. Much less make a sound like that.

I’m just a dorky sports blogger, but hopefully one of you guys can explain it. – Richie Whitt

Barack Obama's already a better shooter than Avery Johnson. Here’s hoping he’s a better leader.

Although, I admit, we'd have more fun with Palin As President? – Richie Whitt

A) Poor sportsmanship.

B) Innovative offensive genius we need to hire to call plays for Brad Johnson. – Richie Whitt