"All you do is shake it ... back and forth."
Words can't do this justice. But a couple come to mind after watching this video over and over and over ...
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Our country turns the ripe old age of 233 tomorrow. Between burgers and beers and bikinis, let us not forget how fortunate we are to have a variety of sports and the freedom to choose which ones we love and/or loathe.
In honor of the Fourth of July I started jotting down reasons to love American sports, and I'll be damned if all the sudden I hadn't come up with one for every single year of this country's existence.
Add to the list if you want. Or just pick and choose. Whatever.
It is, after all, a free country.
233. Terrell Owens, WR, Buffalo Bills.
232. Sharing personal space with 20,000 really happy people and high-fiving a guy
whose name you'll never know.
231. Michael Phelps.
230. Josh Hamilton's resurrection.
229. Jennie Finch.
228. Jim McKay.
227. Bookies.
226. The star on the helmet.
225. Yankee pinstripes.
224. The 18th at Pebble Beach.
223. Dick Vitale, John Madden and, yes, even Brent Musburger.
222. Marion Jones, before she lied.
221. Hail Mary and Touchdown Jesus.
220. The Ice Bowl, the Rose Bowl and the Beer 'n Bowl.
219. Game 7.
218. Cameron Crazies.
217. Stockton to Malone.
216. Brandi Chastain's sports bra.
215. Richard Williams. Well, he was right.
214. Boston's Green Monster and Augusta's green jacket.
213. The 12th Man.
212. Brian's Song.
211. Spurrier's visor.
210. "H-O-R-S-E," "Hot Box" and "Tackle the Man with the Football."
209. Happy Valley and March Madness.
208. Michael Jordan.
207. The seventh-inning stretch and "Down the stretch they come!"
206. Army-Navy.
205. Pauley Pavilion.
204. Caddyshack.
203. "Gentlemen, start your engines!"
202. Atlanta's Tomahawk Chop.
201. Vince Lombardi.
200. Don King, Gene Keady and Slick Watts.
199. Kobe in the clutch and Junior on the gas.
198. Hot dogs.
197. The Three J's, The Four Horsemen and The Fab Five.
196. "It ain't over 'til it's over."
195. Hawg hats, Fort Worth Cats and Minnesota Fats.
194. Michael Irvin's reincarnation.
193. A two-putt birdie.
192. Wide Right and Student Body Left.
191. Natalie Gulbis.
190. The smell of fresh-cut grass on Opening Day.
189. Slow-motion instant replays.
188. Al Davis' white(ish) windbreaker.
187. Pizza delivered right before kickoff.
186. The hole in the roof so God can watch his favorite team.
185. The Immaculate Reception.
184. A no-hitter after eight.
183. Jimmy Connors at Flushing Meadows. At night.
182. Alligator arms, swim moves and The Shark.
181. Tom Dempsey.
180. The Silver Boot, the Iron Skillet and plain ol' braggin' rights.
179. Underdogs.
178. Navratilova vs. Evert.
177. Grass.
176. Hat tricks via bicycle kicks.
175. Jerry Jones.
174. NFL Films.
173. Bo Jackson.
172. Bobby Knight's sweaters. And trifecta bettors.
171. Texas-OU Weekend.
170. Flo-Jo and Little Mo.
169. DirecTV's Sunday ticket.
168. Two points, three-peats and four-baggers through the five hole.
167. Emmitt Smith, former ESPN analyst
166. Slap Shot.
165. Troy Aikman, Daryl Johnston and Deion Sanders on the
other side of the camera.
164. John Wooden's program and Red Auerbach's cigar.
163. The Steel Curtain.
162. Taking your glove to the game.
161. Tatu. And tattoos.
160. "Down goes Frazier! Down goes Frazier!"
159. Amen corner. And Death Valley.
158. Nike vs. Reebok.
157. No. 1 vs. No. 16.
156. "Boomer Sooner", "Rocky Top" and "wake up the echoes."
155. One-handed 360.
154. Phil Jackson's Triangle and Dean Smith's four corners.
153. Breathe Rights, eye black, mouthpieces and ear holes.
152. The Great One and The Greatest.
151. "Fumblerooski."
150. Monday Night Football.
149. "Havlicek stole the ball!"
148. A-Fraud.
147. The Ring of Honor.
146. Between the hedges.
145. Reggie Miller vs. Spike Lee.
144. Sports sections of the newspaper blogs.
143. The chills + a hangover + the day off = the Cotton Bowl.
142. Two minutes for roughing.
141. Rick Reilly.
140. "The Friendly Confines." And Raiders fans.
139. The Zamboni.
138. Yankees-Red Sox.
137. "He could ... go ... all .. the ... way ..."
136. Joe Pa.
135. Tailgating.
134. The Downtown Athletic Club.
133. A blue parking pass.
132. Mel Kiper Jr.'s mock draft.
131. Erin Andrews sideline reports.
130. Tim Duncan's bank shot.
129. Rick Barry's underhand free throw.
128. Goal-line stands and the Stanford band.
127. "Can I have your autograph?"
126. Labor peace.
125. Brett Farve, retired. Maybe.
124. Brad Sham and Eric Nadel.
123. Lambeau Field in January.
122. Sports talk radio.
121. Miami vs. Florida vs. Florida State.
120. "Steeeerriiiike Three!," "Let's play two!" and "We're No. 1!"
119. Roger Staubach down 13 with 2:19 remaining.
118. Dropping the gloves. And catching big air.
117. The Sky Hook.
116. "Coooold beeeeeer!!"
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To which I replied, "Huh?"
I remember a time when the Indianapolis 500 was must-see TV along with the Harlem Globetrotters, heavyweight boxing matches, Oklahoma-Nebraska football and NBA All-Star Saturday. Alas, those events long ago passed their prime. At this point they should be on the endangered species list, because they've gone the way of stewardesses, stationary and smoking.
Yesterday: relevant. Tomorrow: extinct.
Maybe it's just because I don't think drivers are athletes, but I no longer - despite Danica Patrick - make time for the Indy 500, much less the Coca-Cola 600. I know baseball has interleague play and NBA offers a marquee playoff game, but in the big picture I don't consider Memorial Day sports to be that, um, memorable.
You?
The parade is over. The drinking hasn't yet commenced.
For an appetizer, how about a St. Patrick's Day tribute to the NBA's All Fake-Irish Team including - surprise - a Maverick:
Gerald Green.
Dominic McGuire.
Tracy McGrady.
Troy Murphy.
Shaquille O'Neal.
In no particular order ...
Typical of the day, I have no idea what could possibly be happening in this photograph.
10. A Honey Bun (wrapped)
9. A marshmallow (sticky)
8. Multiple jello shots (thanks)
7. Beads (catch and release program?)
6. Half of an apple (that's just wrong)
Saturday is one of my favorite days of the year.
A day when you can drink beer in public without threat of a ticket. A day when you can demand ask random gals to flash their assets without threat of a sexual harassment lawsuit. A day when you can mix, mingle and frolick with some of Dallas' greenest, funnest people and top it all off with a cool concert.
I know the forecast is calling for drizzle and temperatures barely cracking 50, but the 30th Annual Dallas Observer St. Patrick's Day Parade will be hotter than ever.
For all the lovers.
Emerging from behind the crates of discounted champagne and bins of 4-for-1 gift-wrapping paper, this decided to commence its annual tormenting of the male species last night at my local Tom Thumb.
Kill. Me. Now. - Richie Whitt
Pass the Advil and crank up the wayback machine.
Let's kick off 2009 with one last, long, loving look back at the Cotton Bowl. Oh, the refurbished stadium will still be around, but its namesake game is moving to Arlington after tomorrow's Texas Tech-Ole Miss curtain closer and, other than Texas-OU, looks like nothing else of note will call its hallowed ground home.
From founder J. Curtis Sanford's idea in 1937 to Jim "Hoss" Brock's glad-handing to Michael Crabtree's final college game, the ol' joint will always gush with memories.
10. 2006: Alabama Smothers Leach, Tech.
9. 1983: Pony Express Survives Dan Marino.
8. 1991: Miami 'Canes Texas.
7. 1971: Revenge of the Irish.
6. 1966: LSU Stops Hogs' Streak.
Before you muffle your "Happy New Year's" wishes with tired, old criticism, notice I said "Memorable" and not "Best". Got it?
In lieu of Dick Clark, let me start these balls dropping.
10. Byrd Watching.
9. A National (Anthem) Embarrassment.
In keeping with our "Best of ... " programming this week, I'll provide the most memorable Metroplex sports moments of 2008 on Wednesday. Until then, a look back at what you guys clicked on/commented on the most in the past year.
The Sportatorium's version of The People's Choice Awards, if you will.
10. People No Longer Like The Ticket.
9. Sean Avery Got Suspended for What?!
As if I needed to remind you, don't eff with Santa. - Richie Whitt
One of the greatest games in the history of football was played in our back yard recently. Consider it the pigskin version of It's A Wonderful Life.
Merry Christmas, sports. - Richie Whitt
Since I'll be on vacation the next two weeks, things will be a tad slower here in The Sportatorium until 2009.
Slower, I said. Not stagnant.
Between visits to/from family and frantically reaching my 2008 party quota, I'll still make time to post about Cowboys' games, major news events and the occasional middle-of-the-night brain fart. But until I'm forced to return to work on Jan.5, it'll be quality over quantity.
Maybe, like Kidd Kraddick, I'll even run some "Best of ..." programming.
If I haven't said it before - and I'm pretty sure I haven't - thanks to you guys 'n gals for reading and writing. I appreciate the feedback - both naughty and nice. Warms my heart. Zings my soul. And, most of all, keeps me gainfully employed.
Merry Christmas. And Happy New Year. - Richie Whitt
Here in The Sportatorium, every now and then we like to talk baseball. I mean hard-core, balls-and-strikes baseball.
By "every now and then" I mean this morning. And by "we", of course, I mean seamhead colleague Sam Merten.
Sam, the floor is yours:
For those of you distracted by Sean Avery's antics, the format change at Live 105.3 FM and the drama at Valley Ranch, Rangers' GM Jon Daniels and his colleagues spent most of last week in Las Vegas for baseball's Winter Meetings. Daniels has been relatively quiet as the offseason reaches the halfway point, thus far dealing Gerald Laird to the Detroit Tigers and Wes Littleton to the Boston Red Sox for prospects, and exercising Hank Blalock's $6.2 million club option.
In his fourth year as general manager, Daniels has had his fair share of gaffes (getting virtually nothing of value for Chris Young, Adrian Gonzalez, John Danks and Alfonso Soriano comes to mind), but the organization is definitely in better shape now than when he took over. However, after his third straight losing season (eighth in the last nine for Texas), he will be expected to make improvements to a team that finished dead last in ERA (5.37) and defense (132 errors, .978 fielding percentage) in 2008. Suggestions in the form of a Christmas list are forthcoming, but first, let's get caught up with some offseason moves that impact the Rangers.
I can almost understand the BCS, just about explain the NBA's defensive three seconds and sometimes even comprehend Tom Hicks' vision to make the Texas Rangers a winner.
But I am totally and utterly clueless about what was falling on my driveway last night/this morning. Sleet? Freezing rain? Frozen drizzle? Snow? Really cold hail? Black ice? Vanilla Ice? Reverse global warming?
Beats me.
Think you can do better, ol' man winter? Fine, try this matching quiz, Wintry Mix Home Edition:
I snapped this pic at my friendly Tom Thumb last night.
It is 57 days until Halloween. The Cowboys, who don't get started for another three days, will have played half their season by then.
Look, I embrace vampires and witches and the dark side in general. But seriously, trick-or-treating needs a two-month ramp-up? -- Richie Whitt
