​10.Best performance of the night, by far, was Chris Brown's dancing melody which included him grooving to Nirvana and flipping and flying in the air on wires hooked to his back. Very cool.

9. Upon receiving a Moon Man trophy for Best New Artist, a dude named Tyler, The Creator's -- and we thought Cedric The Entertainer was lame -- speech began with "I'm excited as fuck!" By the way, estimated MTV bleeps for curse words: 103.

8. I want to hate Bruno Mars, but that kid is pretty suave. Do we still use "suave"?

7. Worst of the night: Lady Gaga wasting so much time dressed and talking like her alter ego, "Joe Calderone". Best of the night: LMFAO had a silent member -- I think he's in their videos -- wearing a giant robot head. Introduced him as "Shuffle Bot." Genius.

6. Miley Cyrus isn't a little girl anymore. Kim Kardashian is too wide for me. Beyonce is pregnant. And the funniest moment of the night was just the sight of Justin Bieber trying to be, well, I have no clue. But damn it made me laugh. He might be the planet's most ridiculous person. Bieber was wearing these big, ropey gold chains. And tight red pants. And, best of all, giant glasses that looked like a toy pair from Six Flags or something. But the funny part is he was all serious and business-like. He won an award and thanked "Not only God, but also Jesus." What did the Holy Ghost do to get left outta his speech?

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​10. Not sure he remembers any of it, but lead singer Scott Weiland put on quite the show Wednesday night. Two words: Fucked. Up.

9. Among his amusing, entertaining offerings: "The thing I love about Texas is you've got soul. I don't care about politics, you guys care about your community." What. The. What?! 

8. First song: "Wicked Garden". Last song: "Sex Type Thing." Unless I missed the encore?

7. STP started their scheduled 9:15 show promptly at 9:45. Most consistently late things in life: Doctor appointments, wives leaving the house, refund checks and rock bands.

6. Let me repeat this: I'm not a real big fan of boots, but something about women in boots and denim skirts does it for me. Especially those drinking a bottle beer, wiggling their hips and singing along to "Vasoline."

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​10. Was it just me or did Puff Daddy/P. Diddy/Sean Combs sound just like Mike Tyson?

9. Acceptance speeches are always fascinating. Last night Lady Gaga thanked Whitney Houston and Arcade Fire thanked all of Canada. But strangest of all, Train lead singer Pat Monahan gave a shoutout to Howard Stern.

8. Craziest costume of the night easily went to Cee Lo Green, who sanitized his "Fuck You" song while dressed as a cross between a peacock, Elton John and a gladiator from 300. Then, just for fun, he was backed by a bunch of muppets and Gwyneth Paltrow. I can't explain it. Which is why it was so great.

7. The event -- which was sans host, by the way -- began with a tribute to Aretha Franklin. Not a good week for Christina Aguilera. First she forgot the words to the National Anthem at Super Bowl XLV and then last night she tripped and fell on stage. And I'm not even going to mention the fact that she had a gray tongue, as though she'd just licked the newspaper.

6. Mick Jagger and Skip Bayless obviously go to the same plastic surgeon.

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​10. Never have I seen so many tattoos under one tent than at Friday's Mayhem Festival at the Smirnoff/Super Pages Whatever Starplex. One guy had "Lamb of God" inked on his right calf and a girl - swear - had "KORN", with a backward "R" of course, on her neck.

 

9. Usually not a fan of pasty skin, pierced eyebrows, black leather bras and combat boots, but something about the girls watching Five Finger Death Punch jazzed me a little. They kinda screamed "look at me!", so I obliged.

8. I don't get Rob Zombie. Overheard in the Tuaca VIP Whatever It's Called Ice House - Girl No. 1: "He's nasty." Girl No. 2: "Yep, but I'd love to eff the ess outta him." No. 1: "Word."

7. Guess I haven't been to Starplex in a goodly while. $9 a beer? Really?!

6. Of all the crazy outfits, the winner had to be the dude with long dreadlocked hair, painted white face and a full orange jumpsuit. In triple-digit heat I remind you. He was either a deranged sanitation worker or he thought Slipknot was on the bill. Props to you buddy. Seriously.

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​Saw Blue October Friday night at House of Blues. Good. But not the best I've seen them.

That would've been the show back in the summer of 2004 at the Lakewood Theater when lead singer Justin Furstenfeld - bum knee and crutches be damned - was as passionate as any singer I've ever seen.

Got me to thinking about Friday's show compared to the Lakewood show compared to every other show. I saw Madonna at Texas Stadium and Van Halen in the West End and Kid Rock at Tarrant County Convention Center. None, however, barged into my coolest concert memories.

Little stroll down memory lane and - tada! - got myself a list. This one goes by the name The Top 10 Best Concerts I've Been To In Dallas:

10. Pat Benatar, Reunion Arena, 1981 - You always remember your first.

9. Junior Brown, Sons of Hermann Hall, 2001 - Mesmerized by his guit-steel, and I ain't even country.

8. Cake, The Palladium, 2009 - Lyrics that made me laugh and beats that made me bob.

7. Blue October, Lakewood Theater, 2004 - Justin wore mascara on his eyes and passion on his suit sleeves.

6. B52s, Starplex, 1998 - Don't love their music, but their show was dancin', boppin', friggin' fun.

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Remember this the next time you criticize Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo for playing too much golf. He could be singing.

But is Romo the worst of the bunch? Dirk Nowitzki's pretty bad. Jerry Jones is in leather. It's all entertainingly horrible.

This Who's Who of Metroplex star power karaokeed to Faith Hill's "This Kiss" for her Super Bowl XLV kick-off concert last week at Fort Worth's Bass Hall.

Watch the video. Laugh until you cry.

Then jump for the roll call and see if you nailed it.

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​Went to Leonard Davis' house last week and - let me confirm - his dwelling suits him. As in, gigantic.

Davis, a Pro Bowl lineman for your Dallas Cowboys, is getting serious about music and his skyrocketing group Free Reign. This off-season he's taking bass guitar lessons from veteran Dallas musician Dwayne Heggar, he of Emerald City fame.

Davis says, musically speaking, he's on a level with a lower-tier NFL team like, say, the Washington Redskins.

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​Didn't see much at'tall of The Grammys.

But I see that Beyonce won six awards and Lady Gaga is an alien and Taylor Swift took the evening's biggest prize: Album of the Year.

Swift also, however, apparently sang horribly on a "Rhiannon" duet with Stevie Nicks.

Which conjures a question ...

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Cherisse Symonds

​ I don't watch American Idol because I  don't believe in American Idol.

Other than Carrie Underwood and (sorta) Daughtry, the "winners" don't really become rock stars. Simon's about to leave for Ellen. What the what? But mostly, I just think the show jumped the shark when it started fabricating contestants.

I think the "Pants on the Ground!" sensation is choreographed orchestration, not bolt-of-lightning happenstance. And I just roll my eyes when I see supposed wanna-bes signing Tiny Tim and prancing around the stage like a precious, giant rabbit.

And then I hear about the real talent that American Idol misses, and I know for a fact the show is all style, no substance.

The "Dallas auditions" episode is tonight on Fox. Here's who you won't see ...

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Basia - Because it is, after all, MY list.

​Last Thursday I saw a band called MuteMath at The Palladium. Very decent, but in the big picture not quite funky enough or not nearly hard enough for my musical lusting.

While there I was thinking - ya know, like you do - whether I'd like to see them if I was on Death Row. Kinda like a last meal, only a last concert.

Inmate No. 12345678910, this is the last music you will ever hear. You get 10 acts. Place your order ...

10. Linkin Park

9. Basia

8. Fatboy Slim

7. Cake

6. Led Zeppelin

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