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*At 1-3, they're firmly in the NFC East cellar.

*Sunday they play at the Minnesota Vikings, an equally desperate 1-3 team.

*You'd think the Cowboys would have the motivation factor, what with Brett Favre's rub-it-in touchdown in the final two minutes of January's 34-3 demolition in the NFC semifinal. Then: Keith Brooking called it "classless." Now: Eh, he's got bigger fisher to fry.

*It's the Vikings who will be vengeful, especially Cowboys' killer Randy Moss. Back in '98 the Cowboys invited the Marshall receiver to Valley Ranch for a workout, chatted him up and even limo'd him to spend the day with Deion Sanders. But on draft day owner Jerry Jones - at the time besieged by receiver Michael Irvin's off-field troubles - couldn't pull the trigger on Moss and his checkered persona, instead going safer and drafted Greg Ellis. In a conference call with reporters this week, Moss says he's forgiven, but he'll never forget. "I'll always have a chip on my shoulders for the Cowboys." Uh-oh. In seven games against Dallas, he has 11 touchdowns and 734 receiving yards. If the Titans' Nate Washington and Kenny Britt can make the secondary look slow, think of the carnage Sunday in the Metrodome.

*Jones is right to regret not picking Moss, but recently he apologized to him for it? Are you kidding me? Considering Jerry's misses as general manager, doesn't that set a dangerous precedent?

*This is how bad things are for your Cowboys: Jesse Holley - yes, that guy - is likely to suit up for Sunday's game. Yikes.

*Think about watching the weekly NFL highlights. I know some of these guys are injured, but it's commonplace to see game-changing plays by free safeties like Troy Polumalu, Ed Reed and Darren Sharper. Even in Washington last week LaRon Landry had the interception of Aaron Rodgers that set up the Redskins' game-winning field goal in overtime. The Cowboys? They haven't had an interception by a free safety - Ken Hamlin, Patrick Watkins and/or Alan Ball - in 25 games. Amazing.

The Dallas Desire of the Lingerie Football League is in a similarly hideous situation. After making the playoffs last year they are 0-2.

Yet somehow ...

Patrick Michels

Because I'm home making elaborate plans for my sweetie's Valentine's dinner - or something - I had to (grudgingly) send intern Kelly Knickerbocker out to scope the Dallas Desire wannabes in Grand Prairie. Kelly, what'd I miss?

Today at QuikTrip Park a group of beautiful - and surprisingly tough - young women were breathing life into the old adage "anything boys can do, girls can do better".

Okay, maybe better is a stretch. But hotter? Oh yeah.

To read more about the tryouts you gotta jump ...

To ogle research the candidates a little closer, all you gotta do is click our slideshow.

There's no crying in football. But apparently there is kissing.

But you should. Especially if you also like football.

Why?

Because it's right here that I'll point you toward your big chance in the Lingerie Football League. The LFL's Dallas franchise - the Desire, natch - is holding an open tryout tomorrow to fill its roster with 12 lovely ladies who don't mind accessorizing their lipstick with eye black and running around chasing each other in nothin' but pads and panties.